Wanting advice/help

First, ditch your current therapist. They should not be treating something they don't understand. And since they know they're not equipped with the skills and knowledge needed, they should have directed you to a different therapist right away. Not a good therapist, and they will 100% make things worse for you. Second, NOCD has their first session free. If it's not for you, then you're free to find someone else. And you didn't even have to pay. Right now, it sounds like you're struggling quite a bit. NOCD is extremely useful. I have gone through 2 major episodes with my therapist and she's amazing. Before I started with NOCD I was right where you are. Miserable, unable to leave my house because absolutely anything and everything was a trigger, and I spent my days panicking and hating myself for my anxiety and this disorder. ERP is the only effective way to treat OCD. Do not listen to ANYONE ELSE that says otherwise. You need a specialized therapist, trained to treat these things. And they need to be trained to help you with ERP. I assume you don't know what that is. It's Exposure Response Prevention therapy. Essentially you sit down with a therapist, and you go through your particular intrusive thoughts. They build exposures around them. Exposures mean you do something that triggers the intrusive thoughts you have. The goal is to sit through the exposure trying to let the anxiety come down naturally, without doing any compulsions. It can be very difficult at first. But the goal is to practice as much as you can in therapy and outside of therapy so those thoughts become less and less scary, and you can function again as a person. At NOCD they do an amazing job with ERP, and they do an amazing job at not judging you for anything you've done because of OCD, and not judging you for your intrusive thoughts. Which is such a nice change of pace from people treating you like a freak for something you can't control, that is significantly more distressing for you then it will ever be for them. And NOCD is the only place I trust to recommend to people with OCD. I genuinely think you're in the right place and you could not find anyone better than the team here. I owe my life to this company. I've wanted to die so many times because of this disorder, and I think I may have ended my life at one point if I didn't have this app. Not to mention the community feature where you get to talk to other people experiencing the same things as you. Sometimes even "weirder" shit than you, and it just makes you feel less crazy. There are also support groups for specific themes and they help give you tools to get by outside of therapy. There are support groups every day of the week, I think except for weekends, but they are amazing. You get to talk with people semi in person through video chat, the groups are led by therapists at NOCD, and you just feel so much less alone

Sorry that's so long, but you should really consider joining a support group at the very least. It's a good start. And keep using the community feature!

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. That's really tough. I went through something similar when I was in high school. Have you considered taking medication? I take Zoloft and it helps me some. Of course it's way more effective if you pair it with therapy. It took me years to find NOCD. I finally feel like I'm making real progress. I would recommend joining if you can. NOCD offers support groups too. There are groups available M-F at different times. There is a group for people with contamination OCD I believe. There's also one for just right/perfection OCD. That one meets on Mondays at 1:00pm PST. I wish you the best of luck!