(About sexual ideation) “The thoughts are not really part of the person's identity, but they are the sort of thoughts or impulses the person with OCD fears that he/she may have.” Okay, I struggle with this. I feel like I think about situations that I don’t WANT to be sexual but my body makes sexual. Does that make sense? Say I’m thinking about wrestling with a friend of the same sex, and bam, suddenly HOCD thoughts are there. I’m struggling because — someone COULD have sexual thoughts about wrestling. I could see how a physical activity like wrestling could be arousing. And maybe my body is aroused by it. Maybe it’s “sexually relevant” enough. Maybe it’s mostly my anxiety and fear. I DESIRE the wrestling, I ENJOY it, but I do NOT want arousal or sexual intercourse or anything sexual like that. What defines something as sexual? My arousal is unwanted. Is not wanting arousal enough? Does anyone hear me, here?

Immaguel, I went EXACTLY to what you are describing here about 10 years ago, wrestling topic included... Today I'm going through the same, but different topic now. Would you like to talk about it?

Sorry for the time taking in answering. I've had HOCD for 11 years. It's a pretty damn long story jajaj but I can say that at the beginning I feared getting aroused at things and as soon as I "noted it" or started fearing it, then obsessions would start and erections or a feeling of being turned on would appear eventually. It happened with so many things, even specific male body parts (like a forearm) which wouldn't be a sexually arousing image at all for me. Some things dissapeared, others stayed. But I learned to live with it for the past 11 years and regained almost all my happiness and mental health back. Then I relapsed like 7 months ago and it"s been hell ever since. I hope that wasn't too graphic. And please, don't feel triggered by my story. Everyone's story is different. What's your story? Jejej