My ocd lately is mostly internal, I’ve been reading about ocd and how people confuse pure o with mental compulsions meaning the person still has ocd but because they don’t have to do any physical compulsions they’re not diagnosed with ocd. Rn I’m dealing with a fear of everything I watch/read, I’m scared that they are bad or of poor quality or don’t have three dimensional characters... stuff like that so I have to end up checking, mentally over and over again to make sure the things I like are good or are of good quality. Would type more but stupid trigger warning is in my way.

I read a lot of reviews and a lot of pieces on storytelling and characters but what ends up happening with me is I’ll end up looking for hours about like three dimensional characters and then end up having even more anxiety which leads me to believe that it also is a compulsion, not necessarily learning new information related to storytelling but learning or re-reading the info while having a panic attack. And I didn’t do too well in college, went to community, did poorly the first time because I didn’t realize how fast six weeks classes were, second time I was arrrested for violating probation (failed a drug test for weed) and third time I went I passed my English, almost passed my math but got an f in intro to coll exp because the teacher really didn’t like me even though I did just as much work as anyone else (I was very talky in class and she wanted everyone to shut up all the time).

@sebastian Are these characters from what your reading about like from gaming or comics etc? Or?

@sebastian Also, math is hard and community college is great to go to! Looks like you've done more than most in reality. It's possible to petition that math classes f too. And then retake the placement and go to a better rates school. Lots of options. I can't stand nasty teachers, it's like why do you have this job. Ha

@savva Yes I like Batman a lot, been watching Batman beyond animated series lately, I also like noir movies and just watched a good one with James woods from the 80s the other day. My ocd works something like this, I’ll use the noir James woods movie as an example; so the character he’s playing in that movie is a cop who has a daughter and a wife; he tells stories to his daughter, like straight police stories that he was involved in and his wife bitches at him about it. He goes into a rant about how his daughter needs to hear this because white knights don’t exist anymore (this is something that gets brought up a lot in the film as is his distaste for peopl who murder women). Anyway later his wife leaves with his daughter and that’s all the background we get on him. Now for a character to be three dimensional they need backstory, woods character has minimal to none so even though I like the movie my brain questions if it’s bad because there’s not enough backstory for him to be 3D. Then I get into an argument in my head about other characters from film that people like that don’t have full fleshed out backstories (the man with no name trilogy sparks to mind as just about any western).

@sebastian But ok let’s look at another story, Here I’ll use Batman beyond for example. The main character is terry McGinnis, he lives with his mom and dad and brother, you get an idea of what his family life is like and his relationship with his brother mostly. His father gets killed at their house while terry was gone and he relates it to the corporation that his dad was working for (they made it look like a gang of jokers did it) and steals Bruce’s suit and becomes Batman (beyond). Now terry is far more fleshed out backstory wise than James woods character, however that isn’t enough to satisfy my Ocd brain, no how much backstory do we need for a character to be fully three dimensional? Are we supposed to get full backstory from when they were a baby? Also even if you could argue that terry is three dimensional in that aspect his villains aren’t as fleshed out backstory wise ( I mean if you want to look at Joker he never had a consistent back story other than what Alan Moore says mightve happened). Powers the main villain had to kill terry’s dad because he was going to come out with illegal things he was doing and in a fight with Batman he ended up getting thrown into waste or something and getting super powers. So I understand powers mindset but is he a 2 dimensional character instead of a third because i don’t know his entire backstory? Is the story then lacking because of that? It’s frustrating because I know the answers no not really, but that doesn’t stop my ocd from trying to wreck any kind of enjoyment I can have by trying to get me to analyze and check everything over and over again.

what you mentioned about college and re-reading things etc, is very very interesting Sebastian. I think this may possibly have less to do with OCD or a mental disorder persay and more Todo with dislexia. Can you borrow a book from the library about it, dig into this a lil. I used to do horrible in school and reread everything, I was always the last person out of tests or class. It created a great deal of anxiety in reading were is drift off and get anxious, then one day I learned about it and addressed it and it changed everything, now I'm a spread reader, super fast test taker and have no anxiety when reading. Worth a shot, good luck!

@savva I appreciate the advice but I definitely do not have dyslexia or have trouble reading or a learning disorder. I’m great with English and history and actually have more trouble with math, like I said I passed my English in pbsc and have no trouble answering English questions or understanding material and am a little upset that you would basically imply that I’m stupid or have a learning disorder; especially since I thought I have come across as intelligent in our conversations...

@savva I’m rereading things over and over not because I can’t understand them but rather because my brain is stuck on something (like say the article I was reading on three dimensional characters) and I wanted to go back and reread it to go over what I’ve learned and re review the material. It’s def part of my ocd as I’m constantly checking the same thing or idea over and over again even though I’ve comprehended the idea.

@sebastian I never implied that, what the heck, way to alienate me. I said I have dyslexia and re-reading is a staple in dislexia and math problems, you clearly have a prejudice or misinformed idea of what dislexia is. And by implying that I was implying that you have a learning disability or are stupid inherently implys that I am because I stated that I was. Your idea of dyslexia isnt even correct, you sound like a jerk, that's why you need back story, because you can't even truck your own backstory , so your paranoid of everyone else's. Jeez, I'm definitely not coming back on this site after dealing with a weirdo like you.

@savva I apologize savva I thought you were back handily insulting me I didn’t mean to insult you.

@Anonymous Jesus Christ you deleted your entire profile I’m really sorry if I offended you...