- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I ? relate. I am just as clueless as most though to why we do this. The only thing I can think of, it that it's possible we are kind of weak or codependent, don't want to hurt anyone so we say, yet for what ever reasona ND it does not make anyone bad we know we for some reason do better alone and have something, even if it just something to not want to stay , then if we're being honest with ourselves and them the only ethical thing to do is break up and if we don't do it they might do it or something else and then not only would we be hurt but also feel like fools for not doing it sooner.... I'm not sure if that's dead on,bit something like this. I find that if I am reallyuncool with something someone does that I go out with, and it's not something they want to work on, k can't stay or on the opposing side I feel the guilt for not loving them the same way or that I will never be lived.. oh God.... I'm in the same boat.
- Date posted
- 5y
SSRIs are also first line treatment for PTSD. I just wish doctors would *listen* when I tell them how bad my reactions have all been. First line treatment is just option A in a list of options that at least goes to D! I love my SNRI. It’s the first medicine that has ever given me a moment’s peace inside my head. Before my first SNRI, I thought it was just my intelligence and normal thing that I’m constantly thinking of 4-5 topics at once. It was exhausting... Now, I’m mostly thinking of 1-3 topics, and that’s much nicer for me. The side effects, in my case, have been extremely mild compared to SSRIs. SNRIs for life! lol The NDRI is because my energy levels were so very, very low. I love it because I’m awake all day (night) like a normal person now, but it’s also a bit anxiety inducing. I cannot win for losing! ??♀️ Oddly enough, once my medicines were balanced out to a level that makes my life bearable/manageable, I found that my physical health problems began disappearing - even ones my doctors had claimed were 100% genetic/hormonal!! The mind-body connection is very, very strong.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian, whenever you speak negatively about someone’s thoughts or actions that come from their OCD, it seems like you are attacking the person instead of being supportive of their struggle with OCD. Take this original post, for example. When you immediately begin making statements of how bad that must have been for my ex-bf, that comes across as attacking me. It also assumes I didn’t already live through worrying about all of that and feeling terribly guilty for all of his hurt feelings. So, that’s more what I was referencing in this instance as well as language choices. I saw it also on someone else’s post about masturbation with a stuffed toy. She felt very self conscious, and the comments from you were strong reactions to how young female children may begin to masturbate. It increased her self awareness, which is why she took the step to tell you it’s triggering to her. Just my observations. I did assume it was intentional, so I apologize for that assumption.
- Date posted
- 5y
Damn you’re making me actually want to take my snris lol
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel bad for your 16 yr old bf, guy loved you and you were turned off by it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Is this how women think about relationships in general? Like if there isn’t the same level of love you have to break up?
- Date posted
- 5y
Idk it’s pretty weird to be like oh I want to break up with him because he loves me too much or that you love him too much but then care that he’s going to cheat on you... I mean you clearly like him if you’re afraid of that I think.
- Date posted
- 5y
Idk I’ve never been in a relationship, just banged sluts here and there so maybe I’m not the best person to give advice but it doesn’t sound like your bfs done anything wrong and you just need to work on your ocd and maybe talk about these issues with your bf.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, Sebastian. I’m not 16 anymore. This is a reflection... I have seen a couple of comments from you today throughout this app, and I am questioning your attitudes toward women. Please, if you are not able to be respectful and if you are not sensitive/understanding to the experience of having OCD, then refrain from commenting. Those women who chose to have sex with you were no more sluts than you yourself are one. They made the same decision as you did to engage in sex; there’s no room for them to be “bad” or labeled for that natural human instinct. Are you bad? Are you a slut? I say no to both of those, and I’m sorry if you feel that way. Maybe these attitudes are something to discuss with your therapist. Do you see one?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 These women were sluttier then me, they’ve had way more sexual partners than I’ve had and were known for sleeping around, thus easy lay. I’ve had sex four times with three different women in my life, the amount of sex partners for these women was way above that. Not to mention that these women were also noticeable for cheating on people when they were in relationships, so yeah. I think it’s important to make a distinction between like actual women who have few sexual partners and don’t cheat and sluts who cheat all the time and are easy to bang. Guys actually have to like work at getting laid while women just open up their legs and can get laid whenever they want. I too have ocd so how is it fair for you to tell me I can’t relate to other people having ocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian I didn’t say you can’t. I said *if* you can’t understand or be supportive. Read what you write out loud. Your attitudes towards women are awful, and the comments you make are far from constructive. I still disagree with you about those women. You are stating bluntly that the value of a woman is connected to the choices she makes with her body. Were you in those relationships with them? If not, you’ve no clue what happened or didn’t. There are always 3 sides to the story: his side, her side, and the truth that none of us knows. ??♀️
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 So you think it’s ok to cheat in a relationship with multiple people behind their partners back instead of breaking up with them? I bet if it was a guy cheating on a girl that’d be a completely different story and the guys a pos right? And I feel I’m right, women who don’t sleep around with everyone are classy and hard to obtain; a slut you’d be really stupid to date because guess what she’s going to cheat on you because she’s a hoe. I’ve seen it with my friends who’ve dated sluts and because they couldn’t trust them and knew they were out cheating they were in a constant state of anxiety but still did it anyway because they wanted to get laid. I’ve seen enough of that to adopt a no dating a slut policy. I think it’s pretty ridiculous that you’re pretending like there isn’t a difference between women who are selective with their partners vs women who get gangbanged every weekend. If I lived with your fake ideals I’d be unhappily trying to date some girl who’s a slut and who would cheat on me. I mean you really think there’s no difference between say a heroin slut and a classy woman? But here let me give you an example of what I’m talking about; my friend Tyler was dating this girl Justine. Justine was a total hoe, I almost banged her one night but didn’t want to fuck over Tyler so we just felt each other up (which she initiated by grabbing onto my dick btw). This girl would constantly cheat on him, lie about it and then stalk him and get on his fb and not let him talk to any other girls. Ik because I talked to her after she was dating Tyler and this is exactly what she told me. She said she’s be getting fucked by two other guys and then go on fb an hour later and bitch at Tyler and make sure he wasn’t talking to any other girls. Let me ask you, would you want to date a slutty guy that’s always cheating on you and then when you go to complain about it someone’s like oh he’s not a slut you are shut up you’re sexist? Fucking stupid.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian And I did talk to Tyler and Justine so I got both sides of it thank you very much.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian You’re still wrong. My whole point is that it’s just not your place to judge these women. It’s actually pretty disgusting that you’re okay taking advantage of this aspect of their personality/addiction/weakness but then wanna turn and talk about them like this. Again, you’re associating their choices with their sex lives to their value as individuals. Yeah, I have a problem with saying that type of stuff about me too. I just *never* hear or read it anywhere.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 about men too*
- Date posted
- 5y
Btw you seem really insecure about the possibility of your bf cheating on you right? Well imagine if he was fucking different girls almost every day and having gangbangs? Would you not consider him a slut and be mad at him for cheating or it’s all good man?
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s an OCD obsession... See, this is where I come from when I keep telling you that you’re neither understanding nor constructive with your commentary. What is eating you, man? It would not seem to be OCD... unless you just really enjoy being a hypocrite? If a man cheats on me, I leave the relationship, and no... I don’t go around calling him names behind his back or telling the whole planet all about it. A couple of men who have cheated on me ended up married to the girls. Doesn’t make their actions right, but sometimes life finds a way even if it’s at the expense of one individual. As for your comments about heroine ho’s, I have a friend with a cocaine addiction. Repulsive the way you pass judgment. Addiction is a disease as much as OCD, which you’re still claiming to have...
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Do you have any obsessions or compulsions, or are you enjoying being an internet troll on an app where some people are truly vulnerable?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Yes I made a post about my ocd, my compulsions are mental instead of physical and I’m stuck rn on any kind of media for fear that it’s bad and end up in a loop re analyzing the same things trying to make sure the things I like are good. Though why I have to prove my ocd to you is anyone’s guess, I didn’t make you prove yours to me. And I’m not trolling you as trolling would mean I’m disinterested in the subject and am simply doing it for lolz when really I’m giving you my actual option and having a discussion.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Honestly go fuck your self for implying I don’t have ocd, you don’t know my mental state and haven’t even tried to ask until now what my ocd is.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 My ocd started getting bad in high school when I went into an abdanoned house with my cousin and my uncle pulled us out and said that we might’ve stepped on a needle. I was legit so worried that I stepped on a needle and got aids that I couldn’t sleep for months until I got an hiv test. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd by multiple psychiatrists and have been prescribed things like Luvox, Zoloft, gabapentin and klonopin. Again my ocd rn is focused on my fear of liking things that are of poor quality and the compulsion is mental, to check over and over again to make sure that the things I like are good and I end up doing tons of research on three dimensional characters and storytelling and characters bit none of it makes me actually feel any better because it’s a ducking compulsion. I’ve also had self harm ocd, I was going to do some acid and told my co-worker about it and he told me a story about how one of his friends while tripping plucked his eyeball out. So when I was tripping all I could think about was that over and over again visually, it really sucked because there wasn’t much of a compulsion there other then checking to make sure I wouldn’t do it. I was stuck on that thought for MONTHS, kept on thinking pluck your eye out over and over again and the thought and imagery was completely disturbing. Then I had some dental work done and got stuck on the idea of how awful it would be to smash your teeth out by grinding them out... I was also stuck on that for months. So guess what I do have ocd and you’re the one who’s being insensitive about my condition so suck it.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Also my ocd also manifests in weird little things I have to do, like if I’m snapping I have to do it exactly five times three on the left, two on the right. It goes the same for anything like jumping or clapping or whatever.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Kat got your tougne? Lol
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian *Trigger Warning* ⚠️ No, I work nights. I’ve been sleeping. Again, you’re a very disrespectful and inconsiderate person with how you participate and communicate on here. I would never have considered those intrusive images of self harm as part of OCD... but yes, I’ve been there. I used to (and sometimes still do) feel compelled to cut my own tongue out, and I see the imagery vividly over and over again. It comes randomly but particularly in times of high stress. Then there’s the imagery of sitting in a partially full bathtub and making dozens of shallow, painful cuts with a pocket knife - not to kill, just to let the pain out someplace where it can be seen. The blood flows into the water, swirling. It’s been that way for years; I’ve just continued ignoring it and and ignoring it and telling it to leave me alone. I assumed it was part of my PTSD diagnosis... Comorbidity has made this more difficult to ferret out in my case. Most psychiatrists were just confused. They knew there was something more, but they couldn’t pin point it. Same for psychologists I saw for therapy. The psychiatrist who finally got it was extremely astute and had a few full days to observe me with help from his staff, as I’d taken myself to the hospital to make sure I wouldn’t follow the ever more insistent commands in my head to swallow all the pills in my medicine cabinet. Commands, that’s how I feel it - shouting like a drill sargeant but in a nasty, venomous version of my own voice. I hate my brain sometimes. OCD, I guess it is, is such a mean and spiteful thing to have living inside my mind.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 I can’t take SSRIs. I have dangerous reactions to all of them, and I’ve been bullied into trying every single one - so I know for fact. I finally just started seeing a psychiatrist through an online program and didn’t tell her my diagnoses. She treats me as though it’s basic depression with anxiety and skipped the SSRIs when I explained about the side effects. I don’t know why no one else would before her... So, I’ve landed on a NDRI and an SNRI to balance me out. Isn’t working too great here lately. My anxiety is off the charts, and all my motivation has left me (a sure sign of my resurfacing depression). Couldn’t we have ended up with a simpler, smaller demon to battle in our minds?! What a pain this one is...
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 Let me put this differently, @sebastian. Why don’t you speak more gently on here, knowing some of us are more vulnerable than others? I find the way you speak of women really misguided and offensive sure, but you aren’t triggering me. I’m okay to deal and to push back against statements with which I disagree - which is why I confronted you. Why choose blunt, aggressive, scornful language?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 What is comorbidity mean?
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian What does*
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 I can absolutely relate to the drill seargant mentality of ocd where it seems like your brain is yelling at you, I have the same thing.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 I also refuse to take ssris mostly because they make my dick not work but also because of a myriad of other side effects.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 The reason the other doctors are giving you ssris other than this new one is because you tell them you have ocd and so they like force you to take ssris because they think that will help. Rn I’m prescribed snris but refuse to take them for fear of side effects, I just take my klonopin.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kat9311 The only language you haven’t liked that I used is sluts, I just feel like I’m blunt and straight up about things...
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian Comorbidity is what it’s called to have more than one disease or disorder at the same time, occurring together.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hello. I am on my first relationship, (and I want it to be my only!) I've been at it for nearly 2 years, and it first starting happening a few months in. When the relationship started, it felt perfect to me. We are both extremely different people, we have different taste, different humor (but we both made each other laugh!) and just a different way of talking about things, (I tend to be more analytical, while she isn't as much). But I considered these differences to be fine, I never felt like it was an issue because our core values are very similar and I consider her a very intelligent girl. We just enjoyed time together, and each other, I thought she was cute as hell, and even if she didn't talk in depth about a lot of stuff, that didn't matter, I enjoyed the quiet times with her just as much as the talkative times. When the OCD kicked in, that's when I started to question everything, I questioned if I even loved her in the first place, if our relationship was just a sham, if I even found her attractive in the first place, her intelligence, her point of view, even dumb petty stuff like "oh she likes THAT movie???". After my first major breakdown, I confessed a lot to her. At this point, I didn't even know what was going on until I started to look into it. And that's where I found ROCD. On one hand, it was satisfying to see something I could point to as "the problem", on the other hand, I think it gave me bad motivation, it reassured me that this was something that I could just try and ignore. After I cooled down from this, I once again had a long period of bliss. I had a good schedule with her. >Go to work >Hang out with her (spend the night at her place sometimes) >go home and hang out with friends I enjoyed my time with her, taking part in her interests, and her taking part in mine. She wasn't always 100% into the things that I was, and that was always a bit disappointing to me, but in the same way you'd be disappointed if your friend didn't like the thing you liked. (now I over analyze these moments and question if I did always care more about this or not) This moment of bliss would end after another huge trigger. A part of the OCD I have yet to mention is my tendency to be worried that "getting along with other people that I find attractive" is the equivalent of either cheating on my partner, or backstabbing them. There was someone at work that I found attractive and I had a moment where it felt like I may have developed a thing for them, I still don't know if it's true because I generally found them to be annoying at times. I made a joke during work, that felt like I was propping myself up to them, I still don't know my motivation behind this joke, because it feels like it could have been something that I would have joked about to anyone, but I'm still not even sure about it. Either way I basically had a panic attack and later confessed to my partner. I don't know if I should have done it, or not, because I'm to this day confused about my emotions during that situation. Regardless. She was hurt, but she forgave me. It felt like I couldn't look her in the eye and feel like a sincere person to her. After this major moment, I felt like I never recovered. I started to avoid talking to this person at work, or really many women at work at all because of the fear that I'd fall for them. When an attractive women shows up I try and end the conversation quickly, this has only created a fear for taking to people, and it's extremely stressful. I got by though. And I would continue to love my partner. Until another major breakdown. This one created a new type of numbness to my partner, that felt completely different, and it's way more convincing. I mentioned in the past that my partner and I are very different, and that we even have different ways of talking about interests. My partner very much enjoys things for what they are, there's not much analysis, and that's fine. Me (and my friends) are very analytical. Last month I was showing her a game I like, and I started to question if she was even tracking what was going on, or even understood it, I was obsessing over the idea that she didn't even care about it (even tho I know she has always taken interest in what I like). This way of thought broke my brain and it made me feel completely incompatible with her. I question my behavior when I was showing her stuff in the past, I remember moments in which I questioned if she was actually paying attention even during moments when the OCD was low. I question if she has the ability to even watch something and understand what's going on. All terrible thoughts, and all thoughts that I never want to have. I'm scared to talk to my friends half the time because the thoughts of them being more "intelligent and analytical" pulsate through my brain. My friends and I are extremely cynical, about things like the film industry and sometimes if I'm going in on something it feels like I'm shitting on her by proxy just because she doesn't care about it as much as I do. I've isolated myself from friends and I think that did worsen my condition, because when it's just only me and my partner hanging out, I feel like it started attacking her more. This is the part where it just doesn't feel like ROCD anymore. I used to not give a single shit about these things, I was able to make blanket statements like "I think TikTok sucks and it's users are annoying" knowing full well my partner uses TikTok every day. There was a separation between me making broad statements and then not necessarily being indictive of my partner SPECIFICALLY. Now it doesn't feel like I have much anxiety anymore, because it just feels like I've accepted that my partner is who she is and I "don't know if I love her" when in the past, I've accepted my partner for who she is, and I loved her anyway. I feel like I'm just not as connected to her as I once was. I used to enjoy everything with her, now my brain overanalyzes everything she does and says. I can't just relax. I feel like I've lost any amount of structure and this turned into a ramble. But I guess that's where I'm at now. I've been attempting getting proper health insurance so I can talk to someone and not break the bank. I think about the times when none of these ridiculous nitpicks didn't matter to me, and I cry about the idea of leaving her. Thank you for reading.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 12w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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