Hey, I just got here! And this is crazy, but you know all my problems, so talk to me maybe? ? I’m always worried my partner loves me too much or that I love him too much. I don’t want anyone being hurt in the long run by how unequal we’ve been. When it’s him, I want to break off the relationship now before I make it worse. When it’s me, I want to break it off now because I must be so pathetic. I have such a bad fear of my partner cheating that I’ve started telling myself that I already know he is — just so I won’t compulsively watch him text, check his phone while he showers, stalk his social media, question all his friendships, etc. I’m so shocked to be finding out this is something a whole group of people experiences! It used to make feel physically ill; I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat for days at a time. The *only* possible relief for me was breaking off my relationship and also all contact. Once the thought has entered my brain, there’s no backing down from it. I have to end it, or else that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach stays forever. I guess that’s a form of compulsion? Maybe? It first happened when I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. I didn’t love him, but he was in love with me. I felt guilty, and he became annoying. One morning, I woke up to the instant and insistent thought that I must break up with him. All day, I was physically nauseated thinking about my boyfriend. That afternoon, I did it, and I honestly cried tears of relief - not from the end of the relationship but in response to not feeling that way any longer! So it began...

@sebastian, whenever you speak negatively about someone’s thoughts or actions that come from their OCD, it seems like you are attacking the person instead of being supportive of their struggle with OCD. Take this original post, for example. When you immediately begin making statements of how bad that must have been for my ex-bf, that comes across as attacking me. It also assumes I didn’t already live through worrying about all of that and feeling terribly guilty for all of his hurt feelings. So, that’s more what I was referencing in this instance as well as language choices. I saw it also on someone else’s post about masturbation with a stuffed toy. She felt very self conscious, and the comments from you were strong reactions to how young female children may begin to masturbate. It increased her self awareness, which is why she took the step to tell you it’s triggering to her. Just my observations. I did assume it was intentional, so I apologize for that assumption.

Damn you’re making me actually want to take my snris lol

Hi, Sebastian. I’m not 16 anymore. This is a reflection... I have seen a couple of comments from you today throughout this app, and I am questioning your attitudes toward women. Please, if you are not able to be respectful and if you are not sensitive/understanding to the experience of having OCD, then refrain from commenting. Those women who chose to have sex with you were no more sluts than you yourself are one. They made the same decision as you did to engage in sex; there’s no room for them to be “bad” or labeled for that natural human instinct. Are you bad? Are you a slut? I say no to both of those, and I’m sorry if you feel that way. Maybe these attitudes are something to discuss with your therapist. Do you see one?

@Kat9311 These women were sluttier then me, they’ve had way more sexual partners than I’ve had and were known for sleeping around, thus easy lay. I’ve had sex four times with three different women in my life, the amount of sex partners for these women was way above that. Not to mention that these women were also noticeable for cheating on people when they were in relationships, so yeah. I think it’s important to make a distinction between like actual women who have few sexual partners and don’t cheat and sluts who cheat all the time and are easy to bang. Guys actually have to like work at getting laid while women just open up their legs and can get laid whenever they want. I too have ocd so how is it fair for you to tell me I can’t relate to other people having ocd?

@sebastian I didn’t say you can’t. I said *if* you can’t understand or be supportive. Read what you write out loud. Your attitudes towards women are awful, and the comments you make are far from constructive. I still disagree with you about those women. You are stating bluntly that the value of a woman is connected to the choices she makes with her body. Were you in those relationships with them? If not, you’ve no clue what happened or didn’t. There are always 3 sides to the story: his side, her side, and the truth that none of us knows. ??‍♀️

@Kat9311 So you think it’s ok to cheat in a relationship with multiple people behind their partners back instead of breaking up with them? I bet if it was a guy cheating on a girl that’d be a completely different story and the guys a pos right? And I feel I’m right, women who don’t sleep around with everyone are classy and hard to obtain; a slut you’d be really stupid to date because guess what she’s going to cheat on you because she’s a hoe. I’ve seen it with my friends who’ve dated sluts and because they couldn’t trust them and knew they were out cheating they were in a constant state of anxiety but still did it anyway because they wanted to get laid. I’ve seen enough of that to adopt a no dating a slut policy. I think it’s pretty ridiculous that you’re pretending like there isn’t a difference between women who are selective with their partners vs women who get gangbanged every weekend. If I lived with your fake ideals I’d be unhappily trying to date some girl who’s a slut and who would cheat on me. I mean you really think there’s no difference between say a heroin slut and a classy woman? But here let me give you an example of what I’m talking about; my friend Tyler was dating this girl Justine. Justine was a total hoe, I almost banged her one night but didn’t want to fuck over Tyler so we just felt each other up (which she initiated by grabbing onto my dick btw). This girl would constantly cheat on him, lie about it and then stalk him and get on his fb and not let him talk to any other girls. Ik because I talked to her after she was dating Tyler and this is exactly what she told me. She said she’s be getting fucked by two other guys and then go on fb an hour later and bitch at Tyler and make sure he wasn’t talking to any other girls. Let me ask you, would you want to date a slutty guy that’s always cheating on you and then when you go to complain about it someone’s like oh he’s not a slut you are shut up you’re sexist? Fucking stupid.

@sebastian And I did talk to Tyler and Justine so I got both sides of it thank you very much.

@sebastian You’re still wrong. My whole point is that it’s just not your place to judge these women. It’s actually pretty disgusting that you’re okay taking advantage of this aspect of their personality/addiction/weakness but then wanna turn and talk about them like this. Again, you’re associating their choices with their sex lives to their value as individuals. Yeah, I have a problem with saying that type of stuff about me too. I just *never* hear or read it anywhere.

@Kat9311 about men too*

It’s an OCD obsession... See, this is where I come from when I keep telling you that you’re neither understanding nor constructive with your commentary. What is eating you, man? It would not seem to be OCD... unless you just really enjoy being a hypocrite? If a man cheats on me, I leave the relationship, and no... I don’t go around calling him names behind his back or telling the whole planet all about it. A couple of men who have cheated on me ended up married to the girls. Doesn’t make their actions right, but sometimes life finds a way even if it’s at the expense of one individual. As for your comments about heroine ho’s, I have a friend with a cocaine addiction. Repulsive the way you pass judgment. Addiction is a disease as much as OCD, which you’re still claiming to have...

@Kat9311 Do you have any obsessions or compulsions, or are you enjoying being an internet troll on an app where some people are truly vulnerable?

@Kat9311 Yes I made a post about my ocd, my compulsions are mental instead of physical and I’m stuck rn on any kind of media for fear that it’s bad and end up in a loop re analyzing the same things trying to make sure the things I like are good. Though why I have to prove my ocd to you is anyone’s guess, I didn’t make you prove yours to me. And I’m not trolling you as trolling would mean I’m disinterested in the subject and am simply doing it for lolz when really I’m giving you my actual option and having a discussion.

@Kat9311 Honestly go fuck your self for implying I don’t have ocd, you don’t know my mental state and haven’t even tried to ask until now what my ocd is.

@Kat9311 My ocd started getting bad in high school when I went into an abdanoned house with my cousin and my uncle pulled us out and said that we might’ve stepped on a needle. I was legit so worried that I stepped on a needle and got aids that I couldn’t sleep for months until I got an hiv test. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd by multiple psychiatrists and have been prescribed things like Luvox, Zoloft, gabapentin and klonopin. Again my ocd rn is focused on my fear of liking things that are of poor quality and the compulsion is mental, to check over and over again to make sure that the things I like are good and I end up doing tons of research on three dimensional characters and storytelling and characters bit none of it makes me actually feel any better because it’s a ducking compulsion. I’ve also had self harm ocd, I was going to do some acid and told my co-worker about it and he told me a story about how one of his friends while tripping plucked his eyeball out. So when I was tripping all I could think about was that over and over again visually, it really sucked because there wasn’t much of a compulsion there other then checking to make sure I wouldn’t do it. I was stuck on that thought for MONTHS, kept on thinking pluck your eye out over and over again and the thought and imagery was completely disturbing. Then I had some dental work done and got stuck on the idea of how awful it would be to smash your teeth out by grinding them out... I was also stuck on that for months. So guess what I do have ocd and you’re the one who’s being insensitive about my condition so suck it.

@Kat9311 Also my ocd also manifests in weird little things I have to do, like if I’m snapping I have to do it exactly five times three on the left, two on the right. It goes the same for anything like jumping or clapping or whatever.

@Kat9311 Kat got your tougne? Lol

@sebastian *Trigger Warning* ⚠️ No, I work nights. I’ve been sleeping. Again, you’re a very disrespectful and inconsiderate person with how you participate and communicate on here. I would never have considered those intrusive images of self harm as part of OCD... but yes, I’ve been there. I used to (and sometimes still do) feel compelled to cut my own tongue out, and I see the imagery vividly over and over again. It comes randomly but particularly in times of high stress. Then there’s the imagery of sitting in a partially full bathtub and making dozens of shallow, painful cuts with a pocket knife - not to kill, just to let the pain out someplace where it can be seen. The blood flows into the water, swirling. It’s been that way for years; I’ve just continued ignoring it and and ignoring it and telling it to leave me alone. I assumed it was part of my PTSD diagnosis... Comorbidity has made this more difficult to ferret out in my case. Most psychiatrists were just confused. They knew there was something more, but they couldn’t pin point it. Same for psychologists I saw for therapy. The psychiatrist who finally got it was extremely astute and had a few full days to observe me with help from his staff, as I’d taken myself to the hospital to make sure I wouldn’t follow the ever more insistent commands in my head to swallow all the pills in my medicine cabinet. Commands, that’s how I feel it - shouting like a drill sargeant but in a nasty, venomous version of my own voice. I hate my brain sometimes. OCD, I guess it is, is such a mean and spiteful thing to have living inside my mind.

@Kat9311 I can’t take SSRIs. I have dangerous reactions to all of them, and I’ve been bullied into trying every single one - so I know for fact. I finally just started seeing a psychiatrist through an online program and didn’t tell her my diagnoses. She treats me as though it’s basic depression with anxiety and skipped the SSRIs when I explained about the side effects. I don’t know why no one else would before her... So, I’ve landed on a NDRI and an SNRI to balance me out. Isn’t working too great here lately. My anxiety is off the charts, and all my motivation has left me (a sure sign of my resurfacing depression). Couldn’t we have ended up with a simpler, smaller demon to battle in our minds?! What a pain this one is...

@Kat9311 Let me put this differently, @sebastian. Why don’t you speak more gently on here, knowing some of us are more vulnerable than others? I find the way you speak of women really misguided and offensive sure, but you aren’t triggering me. I’m okay to deal and to push back against statements with which I disagree - which is why I confronted you. Why choose blunt, aggressive, scornful language?

@Kat9311 What is comorbidity mean?

@sebastian What does*

@Kat9311 I can absolutely relate to the drill seargant mentality of ocd where it seems like your brain is yelling at you, I have the same thing.

@Kat9311 I also refuse to take ssris mostly because they make my dick not work but also because of a myriad of other side effects.

@Kat9311 The reason the other doctors are giving you ssris other than this new one is because you tell them you have ocd and so they like force you to take ssris because they think that will help. Rn I’m prescribed snris but refuse to take them for fear of side effects, I just take my klonopin.

@Kat9311 The only language you haven’t liked that I used is sluts, I just feel like I’m blunt and straight up about things...

@sebastian Comorbidity is what it’s called to have more than one disease or disorder at the same time, occurring together.