- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely relate. I’m 20 and I’ve never had a bf too. It all has to do with self-confidence. If you have no confidence in yourself, you won’t have much interest in relationships because you think they are not possible for you. I want to be loved by a boyfriend so badly but I need to work on loving myself first, then the anxiety about pursuing a relationship will lessen.
- Date posted
- 5y
yea. see i used to want a boyfriend soo bad ans i don’t anymore ever since hocd. well it’s not that i don’t want a boyfriend it’s just that as of rn i have no interest in being in a relationship. i’m young and everything i’ve always wanted in a relationship is something i can’t have at this age. 1. because i’m not allowed to date and 2. because boys my age are immature and even if i did somehow get a bf i wouldn’t be able to do all the cute couple things i’ve always wanted to. i still see cute boys treating their gfs so well and i get sort of jealous. i see myself in the future when i’m older and have more confidence, meeting a nice boy and dating him and doing cute stuff with him but the part that has freaked me out is that as of right now i don’t want to date anyone and i don’t have the desire to want a bf. i’m not sure if you’re familiar with hocd so idk if this makes sense to you but it feels good to vent. i already feel a bit better
- Date posted
- 5y
@kaysf I have dealt with HOCD (still kind of dealing with it) OCD wants to convince you there’s a bigger issue. I have wanted a bf for as long as I can remember but then my confidence started to go down hill and my ocd attacked my appearance, I got a nose job, which I think was just a compulsion in hindsight. I still had anxiety about boys and relationships because deep down I had no confidence in myself, no surgery or diet is going to fix that. Then my OCD attacked my sexuality “well maybe you are so nervous because you are asexual or gay and you don’t really want a boyfriend” Now I realize, no I DO want a boyfriend, but I need to love and have confidence in myself first because that is where the anxiety is coming from. You have to figure out what the root of your anxiety is and then you will better understand why your ocd is attacking it. (My anxiety is being intimate with someone and being vulnerable therefore my OCD attacked my appearance (slight body dysmorphia) and my sexuality (HOCD) I totally get where you are coming from, I hope this helps!
- Date posted
- 5y
@poprocks1 yea. i’ve never been super confident i just didn’t think my confidence was that bad. but now that i think about it, it is. and i did realize that my problem with being scared of what people would say if i dated the boy i liked was because i was so insecure. it’s that thing that says you have to love yourself before anyone else. i think this is just a part of losing attraction but it’s been scaring me because the physical attraction is back but i still don’t have the burning desire to have a bf where as i did before even tho my confidence was low then too. all been pretty scary for me recently because i was doing so good then i was thinking and all this came up
- Date posted
- 5y
@poprocks1 and by the way, thank you for taking the time to comment. it means a lot that you took the time to read all that and respomd because most people just skip by
- Date posted
- 5y
@kaysf No problem! Again, it sounds like anything you have anxiety about is a confidence thing. YOU know what you want, anxiety tries to prevent us from doing things that would bring us joy. I’ve just often felt safer friendzoning guys because of my anxiety, I know what I really want, but it is difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable with that fear
- Date posted
- 5y
@poprocks1 i’ve just realized i think i’m like this because it’s like i’ve become completely emotionally numb when it comes to relationships. that’s why i’m still physically attracted to guys but i don’t get the feelings and the emotions
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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