- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I been there too man, it's really hard not to look back and long for a time when you were happy and didn't have to deal with OCD..that care-free state of mind feels so foreign now. I still can't remember what I used to think about other than my OCD/Intrusive thoughts. It's one of my main ruminations and really gets me down. But you gotta understand that you didn't cause it and more than likely, none of us will ever figure out what caused our specific OCD..and if we did "figure it out", our OCD would just question it. Lol. My advice is to get in therapy ASAP. It took me several months of suffering and going insane before I got over my ego and agreed to go see someone. It's been a year since my diagnosis and I can't tell you how much of a better place I'm in. It's still a day to day struggle; but I no longer call off work or leave early, I'm socially active again, in a loving relationship with someone who understands my OCD..it's a process to get better. And I think therapy is the right first step.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I’m so scared to go back and I don’t even have money for a proper ocd specialist I have less anxiety now and I feel like Going to therapy will change me I went to free Therapists and they didn’t help because they don’t specialize with Ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, man nobody ever plans for this. No cursing yourself bro. Trust me I have the same problem, but you have to hold yourself up. You got this far man. No stopping now. I've been down and depressed. It 3 am rn and I haven't ate anything in 12 hours. I get it trust me. But I ain't stopping now. Nobody can know if they will get hit with this stuff. It's not your fault. I'm literally in the same place you are. But you have to have hope for the future. You have a whole future to try and do better and make a good life for yourself. It's a process head up bro you got this
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I know but bro now I’m just stuck I’m trying really hard but it’s all going south I could have a boner with girls and no boner when I’m thinking about gay stuff but damn it hurts that I can’t get my life back on track
- Date posted
- 5y
It's always how you see it man. If you choose to say your stuck and you can't do it everytime it gets rough, then youll have a harder time. You can't give up, you've made it this far. Remember why you started. We all are in some pain. But we can do it. Your not alone man. Everyone here goes through the same thing and there are some that can tell you everything will be alright cuz they were in the same place you were. It's up to you to be one of them man. We all want to see you get better. No doubt you have this man
- Date posted
- 5y
@Reptarrox Yeah bro and sometimes I’m actually happy and sometimes I’m down I just want my life back I should be happy that I’m here but I’m not I should be happy that I’m less anxious but it makes me feel like shit me being less anxious makes me feel like shit
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mod22 Same here man. Feels awful. But we both will be okay. I thought the same that I would feel better not being anxious but some and I would say it feels worst. But that's not the goal. Tf e goal is to be able to put it aside as normal thinkers do. Never losing morals but being able to just say. Ha OK brain. Sure whatever you say. And move on. That to me is a goal. You will be happy, I just takes time. Good on you bro
- Date posted
- 5y
Im kinda ignorant to this topic Im new to the group i never mean any offense and am hear to learn.With thatbsaid can i ask..is its with a view one attration is bad and one is good?..or is it the confusion thats the distressing part....?❤
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I think I may have SO-OCD and OCD in general. At a young age fear of death. I use to tap my heart 8 times (lucky number) for each person I loved. Then I think I suffered with ROCD and HOCD when I was 18 after 2 bad relationships who they ran off with a ‘close’ friend at the time. I’ve struggled with OCD and these HOCD/ SO-OCD about 12 years ago but the HOCD went and the ROCD came back and forth. I did previously last year have a Fear of death of my children with alligators going on holiday after reading a bad article in Florida which lasted few months. Briefly Started with ‘R-OCD’ again but went pretty quickly. Am I good enough for my partner? Is she going to leave me? What if she finds someone else? Though I saw a picture of a good looking male on a social media which my Brian instantly questioned if I was gay, panic and anxiety which lead to which I think is SO-OCD and HOCD. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters my mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that you feel you need to do to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought. I’m stuck in obsessive doubt around my sexual identity, even though I say that deep down i know what my sexual identity is but even this is being questioned at the minute and I want to cry. I have always, always been interested in women. That much I would say I had a sex addiction. My attraction to the opposite sex has pretty much disappeared. I have a fleeting thought of attraction which will set off a cascade of doubt and terror which some thoughts/ feelings make me physically sick. I’m scared of going out in public or even looking at people especially men for the fear of false attraction. I try to do ERP when I do have moments but it makes me want to be sick. My brain feels like it’s in a clamp and I can’t stop the constant thoughts. It feels like something is my head has stopped or not working correctly. Even at night. Every time I wake my chest seems to feel strange and the thoughts are suddenly there. I’ve tried ERP but it makes me want to be sick even when it subsides. I am still continuing this but I feel so drained. I just want to be myself again who I was 3 months ago. I hate that this has happened and I feel that I can’t cope, can’t be the husband I want to be, can’t be the father I want and was. These are my main issues at the moment; false attraction to pretty much any male even voices, decrease attraction in opposite gender, severe anxiety, I can’t sleep or eat, constant thoughts 24/7 and scenarios, groinal responses, seavere recriminatory thinking, I hate myself, I even have false attraction to myself in the mirror. What is wrong with me? I just want to be the husband and father I was a few months ago!
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 23w
If I ever experience myself happy in life, my relationship, or friendships, OCD just finds a way to ruin it for me. As soon as life’s going good, it pops up into my head with all these intrusive thoughts that make it impossible to just relax and enjoy myself. My relationship has been improving, along with my mental health, and I have been feeling so in love and present with my partner. Everytime that happens OCD pops back up, with all these thoughts in my head like “What if I don’t really love my partner” “What if I’m not actually attracted to him” then it spirals to “What if I’m gay” “What if I don’t even like men” and it keeps going and going. Now, I can’t even hang around women friends without OCD popping up and saying “What if I’m attracted to them” “You have a crush on them”. I have always identified as straight, and I have always been boy obsessed growing up. I don’t want to be gay and lose everything I have with my boyfriend. That’s a huge fear that OCD is putting into my head. That I’m gay and I don’t actually love my partner and am attracted to him. I’m so upset. I just want to be happy in my relationship and at peace. And I want to be able to make female friends without OCD ruining it for me. :/ It’s like if I’m really stressed, my OCD gets really bad. And if I’m happy my OCD gets really bad. Unfortunately NOCD doesn’t accept my insurance, but I am meeting with a therapist I found on Rula who treats OCD, so I’m hoping that helps. I am also considering meds, because I can’t keep living like this. It’s been 25 years.
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