OCD colored glasses. This morning I woke up with a good attitude, I have been making progress with resisting my compulsions and was ready to start the day resisting more. When I open my bedroom door my cat as usual was at the door scratching to get in, next to her was sitting a piece of Poo. It must have got caught on her fur and dropped off as she was cleaning herself while waiting for me to come out of my room. I close the bedroom door, retreated to my room and felt extreme anxiety, struggle to breath, intensive crying, you know the drill. It took me half an hour to work up to starting the decontamination process I knew I would have to do because of the cat Poo. “ I don’t know where she went with the poo still on her, it might have spread over the entire house, I can’t see the poo partials that may have dropped off her, I have to decontaminate everything and then chuck out the mop, the mop bucket and my slippers after I have finished, then I can have a shower. Then and only then will I feel like I can be in my house again and move in with my day” I pulled my self together, I got the order right in my head of what I needed to do, I pre prepared my bathroom opening the shower door so I didn’t have to touch it with contaminated hands. I walked out of my bedroom to face the next 6-12 hours of decontamination. IT WASN’T POO. IT WAS A SEED POD. As soon as I knew it was a seed pod all of my anxiety evaporated instantly. I felt relief, I felt calm, I felt happy. When my brain through it was poo the world felt like it was over. When my brain new it was a seed pod I could automatically go on with my day not being effected by it. My aunty who is a trauma psychologist who also studies the brain told me I was seeing the world through an OCD filter. Just like all of the filters that we see every day that people put over there lives on instagram. Majority of what we see on social media is through a filter. It’s so easy to edit photos and post a unrealistic version of your self that you want the world to see. Suffering from OCD is permanently looking through our eyes at the world with a OCD filter. If we can start to understand our brains better we may be able to lift that filter and see world and let it effect us in a different way. A positive way. The way I was able to move on with my day because of the seed pod compared to how I could have let it debilitate me if it was cat poo. Even if it was poo. A person not living with OCD would not have suffered from a panic attack and had to endure 6-12 hours of cleaning. I’m educating myself on the brain and how it makes us think and function. I do not want to spend the rest of my life with OCD Colour glasses.

Contamination OCD

rachelrocks7

Date posted: 5y

W!O!W!.... I cannot emphasize how much I love everything that you just wrote. This should be published in an ocd magazine or a book. Your words are so powerful and put me in your shoes. I am so happy that you can see that ocd colors your thoughts and your vision and that the poop doesn't, by nature, call for an extreme cleaning ritual. Thank you for writing this.

OCD Coloured...

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much, what you said is so beautiful. I wanted to write what I was feeling in this exact moment and never forget it. And that maybe by writing it down it could resonate for even 1 other person. So thank you so much for taking the time to read it and respond. ?

washie

Date posted: 5y

So so true! I have had episodes like this too! (contamination issues here as well) Freaking out and being really anxious over something, and then realizing that my ocd "misunderstood" and it was okay after all. The anxiety diminishes in seconds! It's all about how the brain perceives things. Thank you for this! It really helps put everything in perspective :)

OCD Coloured...

Date posted: 5y

Re training the brain is going to be a really hard path to take but an important one to make our OCD recovery really work and stick. Since making the desision to do something about my OCD in December after living with it for 12 years has been such an eye opening and educational point in my life. December I was deflated, a forever sprialing downslope of energy and emotions. January is the beginning of everything. I’m so glad this could put things back into perspective for both of us even if only for today. Everyday we need to try and have this realization and keep the momentum of our brains keeping on track for our recovery.

washie

Date posted: 5y

It's been 13 OCD years for me as well. Can barely remember life without it. I am so tired of it and how it takes the joy out of everything. I often think of what life could be like without it. But it's never too late to start making changes, and january is the perfect month for it! We can get our lives back, one step at a time :)

OCD Coloured...

Date posted: 5y

I’m with you on this. Let’s do this and start now. Over a decade having OCD run our lives is enough. Time for us change it. Your totally right. It’s never to late to make a change. If we can commit to our complushions then we can commit to un do them!

IcePenguin19

Date posted: 5y

Oh my gosh this is such a great way of putting it. I'm going to keep this in mind as I go through therapy and ERP

OCD Coloured...

Date posted: 5y

I’m so glad it resonated with with you. I’m also going to keep remember this. I think it’s an important realization.

David

Date posted: 5y

Very well said!!!

OCD Coloured...

Date posted: 5y

Thank you ?

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