Now I’m starting to worry I’m asexual goodness gracious

Back to worrying I’m a lesbian lol

@annehatesocd Also been there ?

What is the right help to you?

@Ocdandme123 I ended up reading a LOT into the topic and the science behind it and then studying ERP online and how to do it and i’ve started doing it in my daily life when a thought comes up, sometimes it’s easier to calm down than other times, but it is manageable

@jcplunk I’m so scared of erp. I’m scared I’m just going to realize I’m gay from the erp. And I’m afraid to find another therapist because I’m scared they’re just going to say I’m gay and I’m depressed because I’m not happy with my bf.

@Ocdandme123 Honestly, I’m scared that ERP is going to make me realize I’m gay too. Accepting the thoughts can be scary because sometimes it can be misconstrued as accepting that you’re gay. However, if you’re having this much anxiety about it, then it is most like OCD. Try to give ERP a chance because many many people show improvement. We’re all in it together.

@Ocdandme123 Also, you being unhappy with your relationship with your boyfriend doesn’t mean that you’re gay. It just means that either there are things that need to be solved and worked on in the relationship or that you haven’t found the right guy yet.

@jcplunk I’m not “unhappy” with my boyfriend. My hocd developed relationship ocd so I obsess over if he’s the one or if I’m suppose to be with him or if I’m suppose to feel rainbows and butterflies all the time or if we fight too much or if I’m attracted to him still. I just worry worry worry. And all this has cause me in a horrible depression and emotionless numbness. So that’s what I meant by not happy.

@Ocdandme123 Ohhh okay, then I TOTALLY understand that. HOCD and ROCD typically go hand in hand with people who are already in relationships. One thing that has helped me be calmer and happier/carefree with my boyfriend is accepting that everyone has flaws, nobody will ever like every single thing about anyone that date, and there is a possibility that he’s not the one for me. Yeah, maybe in the future we’ll break up, but right now, I am happy with him. So focusing and acting on how you feel in the moment is more important than worrying about future things if you do that a lot. I used to think love was a fairytale and that it was found, but through this experience and lots of research, I’ve found that love is actually built and developed through a relationship, and it is constantly worked on. You won’t always feel lovey dovey towards your boyfriend or even husband when you get married, and sometimes you might not even want to be around them. That’s totally normal because we are all still individuals who can clash when are differences are brought about. I know it’s hard to process, but I promise once you try to focus on his great qualities rather than imperfections and focus on your happiness in the moment rather than the future of your relationship, it will get WAY easier.

@jcplunk Ugh yes thank you. It feels good hearing stuff like that. I understand it. it is just really easier said than done. I’m working day by day with a lot of things and just pray I get over both of these themes. They are horrendous

@Ocdandme123 Yes, they definitely are. I am so glad to talk to someone who relates. It makes you feel like you have no actual say in who you are or who you get to be with. It is very scary and confusing, but I believe in you!! I hope that everything goes well, and if you put full faith in yourself and your ability to get better at managing the thoughts, I believe you can do it!

@jcplunk Thank you so much! I wish the best to you as well