Everything was so lovely and im afraid im gonna miss out of feeling the amazing feelings being in love gives you. Im so afraid, i wanna feel the same like i used to. Genuinely wanting to he with someone

??? gosh i hope soo. I try to see this i try to live with that thought and hope everyrbing will magically change but it just doesnt. All the things in life are different ever since this happened to me. Every single thing changed, from my soul too how I expierence things. Life doesnt feel like i live it. Its just a big anxious explosion since 2018

Yeah i know but its not that i cant have a boyfriend, i have boys who are interested but the problem is me. I dont feel shit. Im numb. I used to be soo romantic and i always had a crush and my biggest dream was to marry someday and to gave a boyfriend but my dreams were crushed so unnaturally, its not that its not the time for me or that the feelings come back its just a lil low now, no its deadass anxiery who took all the magical feelings of being in love and my attracrion to guys is gone i dont feel it anymore. For example, for years i liked ths boy. All i ever wanted and dreamed of was being with him. One year goees by, hocd crashes me and boom. I feel nothing. I feel emptyness. Suddenl im not in love anymore eveything is dark and im trying so hars to force myself to feel things again bc i hare how this anxiousness and empttness feels but nothing happens, the more i force it the more the love and attraction goes away. Then my best friend who ive knew for 7 years who i dont want to have anything other than a friend ship with who i never saw as anyone else but a friend, suddenly My mind tells me i like her. I dont i deadass dont want it like i dont want a n y t h i n g To do with her in in that kinda way trust mee. My hocd made me believe i dotn like boys but girls but its just not true and now im left with freaking feelings in war. When i tell u i was happy, carefree, had dreams, loved life i mean it. Its. All. Gone. I cant stress it enough its all about ke not feeling anything for men while i used to feel the world for them

@hocdgirlsummer HOCD oh i read it little late

@Rizwan Lol

@hocdgirlsummer I am so sorry But be courgeus

@Rizwan I try

@hocdgirlsummer One thing which i realised is that OCD is a fear, and when we follow it, it gets more worse

@Rizwan I dont have a clue how to stop it. I stopped fearing a long time ago. Idc anymore i just wanna feel alive and like myself. Nothing helps.

@Rizwan It feels like an endless waiting game

@Rizwan Its all mind game, we need to teach our mind somehow that its sickness and we dont care of it Once stop caring may everthing will be alright

@hocdgirlsummer Did you using any medicine

@Rizwan Nope i dotn have money and not a family j can talk about it to. I wanna use but i dont earn enough money and i dont feel like spending my money kn it because people from my age dont have anything they have to spend their money on so i dont fwanna buy freaking meda its so unfair. I need them tho im rlly not doing well atm. Anyway, not caring sounds so easy but its so hard to do. Not caring is the whole thing i cant do with ocd in my head. I mean i dont care actually but my brain is so used to caring that its programmed with all these thiugha now. theyre just there. I cant even not think them theyre here and it feels permanently

Whatumean

Bro idk if u know how it feels.. do u deal with hocd? I dont mean ive been with someone, havent even dated someone In my life. I cant fall in love anymore. I used to be in love with boys but my feelings shut down and made me believe im gay so now i cant develop feelings anymore and i miss the days where i was in love with someone even tho i havent even dated anyone. I miss the feeling of wanting to be with someone. It goed way deeper than u think

Sorry but who r u to tell me my feeliings arent valid. Feeling like this got me and a lottt of people on this app hating their lives.

@hocdgirlsummer I littetaly cant fall in love there is jot future husband for me no kids no life for me in the future if i stay like this. Its been like this for 2 yrs

aight i get it might seem stoopid reading only that wihoutt knowing the context. No problem

Yes, but with what?

Ofcourse say what u wanna say

No i havent, i sure will do thank you :)