OK! I am going through the weirdest thought process and it’s kinda TMI but I just don’t know who else to talk to. So I’ve been dating this guy for a while and he is sO goofy. He sent me a snap video of him in a bath and he was trying to make me laughing peeing in the video too. And it was cute seeing him in a bath because he’s a grown man in a little bath all by himself I thought it was cute. But when he pee’d it reminded me of my nephew. Sometimes when I take my baby nephew to the potty I have to carry him to pee because he’s so tiny and when he finishes it’s this funny little trickling noise. And that’s the noise my bf made in the video. So when that came in my mind I had this idea that I’m like a pedophile or into children because I thought... Like I don’t even know I can’t even explain it. Like when my bf sent me that video I didn’t think of it sexually or turned on by it. I genuinely just thought it was adorable that he was in a bath like a little boy. And then it made me panic like do I think it’s cute because I’m into children?! I don’t really know what to do. I’ve always suffered from POCD but I’m really scared about this...

Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

How is this OCD? Who with Pocd thinks about a naked child ???? I was over here thinking if I’m actually attracted to kids because I find some of them good looking you know and my little cousin I have thoughts about her too and I was thinking about her naked but I wasn’t aroused or nothing so that’s where I’m confused It was intentional so does that make me a p*do?