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- 5y
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- 5y
Being a lesbian means you fuck and have relationships with women and women only I have a tattoo on the same part of my arm as loads of men, doesn’t mean that I’m a man
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- 5y
I know and I know how dumb it sounds but it’s just what my brain thinks with my hocd :( I can’t help it.
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 It’s not dumb! I’m just trying to be blunt to tell your ocd to fuck off!! I’m sorry ? I have “dumb” std fears too, never been diagnosed with one but I convinced myself my conjunctivitis 6 months ago was caused by one and I have now infected myself and my partner will leave me and think I cheated We all have our nonsensical worries
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- 5y
@uwotm8 I went through std ocd. I know how you feel :( it’s awful! I went nonstop. All the time. My dr laughed at me. But it’s a scary thing! Just know it’s a little harder to get than what you’re thinking! And just be smart during intercourse and you will be fine :)
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 And I know it’s dumb in my head but gosh it feels so fucking real. Like I could be with a girl. I hate not knowing myself and who I am. I think that makes me the saddest
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@Ocdandme123 We don’t use condoms because we both tested negative at the start of our relationship and we don’t sleep with other people but I just can’t stop worrying “what if the conjunctivitis was caused by an std and the symptoms only showed a year later? And my vagina etc didn’t have an std but I was just lucky I didn’t catch one in those areas, and unlucky that I DID in my eye? If I get the eye gunk in/near my mouth or genitals I’m absolutely fucked”
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 You’re not sad!! Hocd is entirely about not having confidence in yourself, it’s not that you’re gay it’s that you haven’t “found yourself” yet
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah but I can’t bear to “find myself” and have that be me ending up being gay. Or bi. Idk. I don’t want that. And to get an STD, you have to have direct contact with the genitals or the fluids to contact it. From what I’ve researched, that’s what I thought
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- 5y
Me neither.
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- 5y
I don’t think it means u haven’t “found yourself” yet. I was at total peace and was happy with who I was when my OCD started. I think it’s the egodistonic nature of the obsessions that make us question who we are bc they can feel so real and bc they feel so real, we assume there must be some sort of validity to them.
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- 5y
It makes you feel like it though for sure cuz I was completely okay with where I was at with myself before this. I needed help being confident but I didn’t need to “find myself”
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- 5y
Hocd is about that though, how else do you explain it? It’s an identity based tbing, people don’t realise exactly what it is but they feel something isn’t giving them self confidence then ocd goes “ok so what if you’re gay then?”
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah and when mine hit, my bf and I were going through a rough patch so I was upset and stressed and self conscious then bam. “Oh I’m probably gay.”
Related posts
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- 19w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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- 19w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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- 17w
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
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