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- 5y
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- 5y
Being a lesbian means you fuck and have relationships with women and women only I have a tattoo on the same part of my arm as loads of men, doesn’t mean that I’m a man
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- 5y
I know and I know how dumb it sounds but it’s just what my brain thinks with my hocd :( I can’t help it.
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 It’s not dumb! I’m just trying to be blunt to tell your ocd to fuck off!! I’m sorry ? I have “dumb” std fears too, never been diagnosed with one but I convinced myself my conjunctivitis 6 months ago was caused by one and I have now infected myself and my partner will leave me and think I cheated We all have our nonsensical worries
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- 5y
@uwotm8 I went through std ocd. I know how you feel :( it’s awful! I went nonstop. All the time. My dr laughed at me. But it’s a scary thing! Just know it’s a little harder to get than what you’re thinking! And just be smart during intercourse and you will be fine :)
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 And I know it’s dumb in my head but gosh it feels so fucking real. Like I could be with a girl. I hate not knowing myself and who I am. I think that makes me the saddest
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 We don’t use condoms because we both tested negative at the start of our relationship and we don’t sleep with other people but I just can’t stop worrying “what if the conjunctivitis was caused by an std and the symptoms only showed a year later? And my vagina etc didn’t have an std but I was just lucky I didn’t catch one in those areas, and unlucky that I DID in my eye? If I get the eye gunk in/near my mouth or genitals I’m absolutely fucked”
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- 5y
@Ocdandme123 You’re not sad!! Hocd is entirely about not having confidence in yourself, it’s not that you’re gay it’s that you haven’t “found yourself” yet
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah but I can’t bear to “find myself” and have that be me ending up being gay. Or bi. Idk. I don’t want that. And to get an STD, you have to have direct contact with the genitals or the fluids to contact it. From what I’ve researched, that’s what I thought
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- 5y
Me neither.
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- 5y
I don’t think it means u haven’t “found yourself” yet. I was at total peace and was happy with who I was when my OCD started. I think it’s the egodistonic nature of the obsessions that make us question who we are bc they can feel so real and bc they feel so real, we assume there must be some sort of validity to them.
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- 5y
It makes you feel like it though for sure cuz I was completely okay with where I was at with myself before this. I needed help being confident but I didn’t need to “find myself”
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- 5y
Hocd is about that though, how else do you explain it? It’s an identity based tbing, people don’t realise exactly what it is but they feel something isn’t giving them self confidence then ocd goes “ok so what if you’re gay then?”
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- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah and when mine hit, my bf and I were going through a rough patch so I was upset and stressed and self conscious then bam. “Oh I’m probably gay.”
Related posts
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- 25w
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
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- 25w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
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- 21w
I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but I’m currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYES😭! I can’t be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it won’t just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting “you are gay” like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian 😭😂😂😂😂. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I don’t even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry him😭 + I couldn’t bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I don’t enjoy this game again! I’m not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesn’t feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men
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