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- 5y
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- 5y
My partner hates it when I say that my ocd is telling me I prefer that other girls boobs but she knows it’s not me and that helps me. She actually makes a joke if it all now haha
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- 5y
Yes to the last point but I fell in love instantly but the point about running away and being sad and lonely just with me and my stupid thoughts (they would have won if I just ran away to be lonely)
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- 5y
So you knew the whole time deep down you liked/loved the person?
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- 5y
@Ditto~ Yes but I completely 110% now question that as she is 9 years older than me and has 2 children (those two things my OCD/fear has latched onto) love is love though it doesn’t matter when it arrives.
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- 5y
@FOCD123 Has it decreased your excitement or eagerness to be around her, or the romantic feelings you once had? Do romantic gestures or quality time feel forced? I latched onto the fact that I had no feelings from the beginning, yet they did not grow in the ways I thought they should have, despite how attached I got. So I always doubted what I felt deep down, which seems different from typical rocd cases or examples I’ve researched.
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- 5y
@FOCD123 Wondering if I was obsessing about what could have been, vs accepting what was.
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- 5y
@Ditto~ Yes, when she hugs me when I’m feeling like you are now it feels like I’m hugging a mannequin in a shop. But when I tell her all of the things like what you are saying now and she just listens to me, accepts them and doesn’t re assure me I can see that she loves me and is so right for me. Whenever she talks about the new house we are buying she can see that I literally am so scared or non emotional to it and she knows it’s all down to the OCD. My absolute best advice is to let your partner know what’s going through your head, it’s hard but worked for me
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- 5y
@FOCD123 He knew and was willing to work on things with me. But it still hurt him because he didn’t feel loved or valued enough or treated appropriately as a partner. And I didn’t know how to be okay. So as he said, my uncertainty became his uncertainty. But, I appreciate hearing ur experience, knowing that your actual feelings, not just thoughts, can be affected. Thank you
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- 5y
@FOCD123 You said “when I’m feeling like you are now.” So do you have periods then when all is well and you feel romance? Because I felt negative at least 95% of the time, in what seemed to be a perfect relationship.
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- 5y
@Ditto~ I probably have 1 or 2 days/nights a week where it feels okay. Probably more 1 a week. Have you been through therapy? I have but only just noticed 4 weeks ago it was OCD and since then in 4 weeks it’s felt like a normal relationship for like 2 hours max haha. Our communication is great though so she and me can see the end of it all.
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- 5y
@FOCD123 Yes I went. How frequently would u go? So if I understand, it took 4 weeks of therapy to feel like you made some progress?
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- 5y
@Ditto~ No, I was seeing a therapist for 9 months and being misdiagnosed which made it a lot worst but eventually I exploded and was diagnosed so I’ve been 5 weeks now since diagnosis and things just running wild without a therapist, I’m going next week to see a specialist in ocd and exposure therapy. Anything else you need just private message me on social media as it’s more instant and id like to try and help.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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- 14w
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
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