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- 5y
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- 5y
Same. Even though I had bi tendencies before HOCD I always liked boys. I am so fucking I was gay all along and I never knew. I feel like I forced myself to like them and was in compulsory heterosexuality. I fucking hate this disorder
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- 5y
I’ve never considered myself bi, but I do have fears that my history is proof that I’ve been gay all along and in denial. So I hear you.
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@ginac Yeah something I fear too but I also can't tell myself I never had crushes on boys which I did
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@ta I had a crush on a female androgynous character fr a cartoon when I was kid (she was my only female crush ever). At the age of 11 I realized I wasn't completely straight and that there was high possibility of me being heteroflexible/bi. But I still had extremely strong attraction for boys which is why I identified straight mostly
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- 5y
@ta Well if you don't enjoy it then it definitely means you don't have bi tendencies. One thing, I have always found androgynous boyish girls really attractive, I never worried about it much though I was low-key scared that meant I'm gay. But I had and still have strong attraction for boys.
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@ta At my current stage of HOCD im scared that I'm completely gay and I'll never be heterosexual again so now I pray everyday im straight. It scary since I've lost my attraction for boys and that means I'm gay or something
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@ta Same I can understand. I don't feel bad thinking about fictional female androgynous character but I'm somehow uncomfortable thinking about actual girls. I feel so gay it's almost killing me :(
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@ta Kind of feels good to imagine with fictional ones but I can't imagine it with someone real
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@ta I mostly think it's because fictional female androgynous characters look a lot like boys so It doesn't feel like I'm kissing an actual girl
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@ta I identify as heteroflexible
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- 5y
Heteroflexibility means you're primarily attracted to the opposite sex like 90% but you can still get attracted to the same sex like 10%
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- 5y
@ta Well if you don't like women or the thoughts you aren't gay or bi. I consider myself heteroflexible since Ive only liked boys but I was also attracted to fictional female characters. But the thing is I don't actually feel attracted to girls irl
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- 5y
@ta My feeling with real androgynous females touching me is kind of disgusting. Like I don't want that irl. Btw The character is Haruka Tenou
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- 5y
@ta No not a single one
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@ta Well I had one or two kissing fantasies but they were only with fictional female characters
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@ta But I'm straight for the most part :)
Related posts
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- 24w
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
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- 21w
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
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- 11w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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