Ugh I just feel like a lesbian at this point I hate it with a passion :(

And I quit making sure and or I have to be exactly straight. Sometimes I make myself gay like “ooo she hot” even tho she’s just pretty so I joke about it and then I could give a damn about hocd

@Peridottttt I can clearly remember before I dealt with OCD, I found other girls “pretty” or “hot” but I never questioned that thought because i never questioned my sexuality. Ocd makes you analyze everything thay crosses your mind

@ruminating_redhead Omg same. I found androgynous females kind of cute but I never really questioned it much!!

@chamomile It’s definitely normal to look at girls and think they are pretty or gorgeous, but it’s different if you would date them. Because my mom who is DEFINITELY straight talks about how cute some girls are all the time, but she knows that she is not a lesbian she is comfortable in her sexuality.

@Afazz For me, I could not imagine actually having a relationship with another woman. But then I think “well, maybe I could” it never friggin ends ?

@ruminating_redhead Yeah it’s nonstop, but I really could never date a girl it’s not appealing. I’m so over this hocd stuff like I finally made it out of everything thankfully?? But yeah it was really hard when I was going through it BAD

@Afazz Yep I had these thoughts and I was even afraid to google it and I was hella bad but now I’m over it, yes I don’t have the exact answer but it’s just annoying so whatever

@Peridottttt I dealt with it for about 9 months and I finally noticed that if I was that way would I be so worked up about it for 9 MONTHS. It’s whatever at this point

Yeppppp factzzzzzz it helps for me

I’m scared it’s not ocd at this point. Like I really don’t know if it is. All I know is me realizing all of this is making me wanna stay in bed and cry. I hate this :(

@annehatesocd Please don’t cry :( I really want all of you guys to get better. Please keep trying?

@Afazz Is that normal for ocd? For it to feel almost so real it doesn’t feel like ocd anymore? :(

@annehatesocd I hope it’s normal for ocd cuz that’s how I feel. Like it just could be true

@annehatesocd Yes it’s very normal, it’s called pure o. It feels veryyy real, it makes you feel like all the thoughts are true and you want them even tho you don’t.

And you don’t have to be one!! Remember you are the one who chooses your life, you make decisions not your ocd

@Afazz Thank you for your words. I'm desperately trying to be normal and happy again but my HOCD has ruined everything :(

@chamomile Relatable

@chamomile That makes since. Everything will be alright I swear if I can make it through so can you❤️

A guy told me he loved me but never actually established a relationship with but I'm glad he actually didn't or else I would have gone fucking mad

Ngl I had a small crush on fictional androgynous female character before HOCD and I really thought I was heteroflexible or something. Like I dont want to try kissing a female even if I do my heart won't enjoy it

Because I know deep down I really don’t want that. Sometimes it’s hard but you know who are it’s just confusing with hocd.

@Afazz I feel like I know deep down I don’t want that either but the what if’s and false feelings or attraction feeling so real it makes me question if I could or not. And it feels so real. It’s scary as fuck. No matter how much deep down I don’t think that’s who I am, it still feels so real ?

@Ocdandme123 Yeah that makes since!! I used to feel the same way, it takes time and hard work to feel better but I know you all can do it. Please keep pushing❤️

@Afazz Also remember you can be whatever you want to be ocd is not going to decide that for you. If you don’t want to date girls who’s forcing you? You know?? It’s all going to be ok!!