uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe you need to try and accept it happened and accept the trauma you faced. Maybe you’re holding it against yourself too much when he was the douche
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, I know he’s a douche! I’m just not prepared to go through that again. Feels dramatic to call it trauma though, does that count as trauma even? I did lose 10lbs in a week and did a shit tin of cocaine and also my face swelled up from stress lol ?
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Sounds like trauma to me!! Ha
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I always thought trauma was just abuse like sexual abuse or beatinngs etc lol ?
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Ok I just can’t cope with the idea of being abandoned. Stop flagging my posts I won’t do it I just don’t know how else to express my anxiety
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
I didn’t flag it. I know the anger and sadness you are feeling and I feel that way about being a lesbian. I’d rather die. Both of our ocd needs us to accept uncertainty. It’s hard and it scares me to do it but it will help us :(
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 No no I had other posts flagged so I just deleted them. I just wanna be happy and feel secure and I truly don’t. Doesn’t help that my partner now has a crazy ex and she was causing issues last year so he kept saying he felt he should stop seeing me out of fairness
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I feel so lost!!
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Relationships are so damn hard. Mine is on the rocks right now because of how bad my ocd is. It’s really really bad. He’s afraid of me leaving him to be with girls which fuckkng sucks. Just gotta take one day at a time! Also ex girlfriends suck. I don’t like his exes either lol
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 She’s been violent to him both in their relationship and since he left her and is with me...she showed up the other day too. Stalked me online found out where I work etc
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Maybe get a ppo if it gets too bad
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 What’s that?
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Restraining order! But obviously only if it’s gets bad and excessive lol I don’t know how nuts she is
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I cant, he owns a business with her
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Oh shitttt ? I’m sorry that stinks
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I do sometimes wonder if I have bpd triggered by my ex tbh It seems to resonate with me. I’ve done a few online tests (I know that’s not a diagnosis but it’s given me some kind of idea) because to me, being abandoned is LITERALLY the WORST thing I can imagine. I love him too much. It scares me more than death. I CAN accept the thought of dropping dead at random but I can’t accept the thought of being dumped at random. When I had my high risk hpv diagnoses (the hpv that can cause cancer) all I heard was “omg HPV? That causes warts? I’ll give him warts, he will leave me” When I called the helpline, they said no no we don’t test for the strain that causes warts, we only test the kind that causes cancer” and I honestly breathed a sigh of relief because if I ever did develop cervical cancer, people aren’t gonna leave me then, but warts yeah they probably would and I can’t accept that
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Well I can tell you last year this time I was diagnosed with hpv and I had a freak out just like you! I had to tell my bf who I’m with now and I was mortified. I have my year annual Monday and I get to see if it got worse or went away and I’m nervous! I’m right there with you sista!
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 I have to go back in 5 ish months too He actually wasn’t bothered by the hpv but I was fucking devastated by it
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Mine wasn’t bothered by it either. He’s a great man and I pray to god everyday this hocd doesn’t take him from me. I’m crippling scared. It’s almost so bad I can’t function.
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 And I hope my stupid std fear does t with mine either. He’s the first good guy I have been with I think it’s why I panic so much he will leave
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Me too. All my exes SUCKED and I just never want to lose this one. 1. Lose him regardless 2. Lose him by me wanting to be with girls ??♀️??
Related posts
abreeclarey
- Date posted
- 21w
Fear of HIV again!!!
This fear keeps coming back and it’s to the point I cry and what to panic. I no longer talk to the man simply because I wanted to move on and find something meaningful to have with someone (relationship wise). I still keep fearing I need to go get my blood checked. Thoughts like “what if I have it and don’t know it and give to someone?” “What if that urine test I took months ago didn’t work” I got tested for stds but it came back negative. They took a urine test but google says you have to have your blood drawn!! I’m so scared. My mind tells me “you have HIV” and then a sense of peace comes and scares me even more!!!
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- Date posted
- 20w
So my now ex-bf exposed himself publicly.
Hi I was on here a few days ago talking about how I have POCD because of CSA & how I couldn’t trust my bf. I ended up telling him about this while we were out in nature one day, a pretty secluded area but there were still children visible in the area. We changed by holding a towel up around each other. That was a bit too much for me but I needed to change. He had to urinate and he went behind a tree but I told him just to go in the water because if anyone catches any glimpse of him on accident, it’s illegal and just wrong especially because there were kids across the river. I ended up confronting him about my OCD fears, which was causing me to distrust him (I don’t even trust my own brothers). This man was my first everything, I loved him so much I wanted to trust him so badly. He ended up being offended after I shared my fears. He was offended that I would ever think of him as someone who would hurt kids (like my dad did to me 💔. and yes, he knew what happened to me as a child before alllll of this happened so I though he would understand). He was so offended he told me it was time to go home. He changed in f*cking public. IN PUBLIC AFTER I TOLD HIM THAT CHILDREN MIGHT SEE. We drove 1hr+ back home in silence. It didn’t even process in my mind fully, after this happened I was texting him how much I loved him and didn’t want to break up. But as I started to think about that moment I just feel sick in my stomach. I hate myself I hate my l-fe I genuinely don’t want to b3 h3r3. I’m probably gonna get rid of myself. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t even be in love in peace. I can’t nothing is normal in my life nobody is normal I can’t do this anymore
naiad
- Date posted
- 13w
Relationship OCD
Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(
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