Can anyone help me out. I was going very well through the last years until I have one experience that I think provoke my OCD to the limits again. I had an experience with a girl that was a friend of mine for many years, that I think she also suffers from something different. She did things that was suggesting that she felt something for me but after she did not admit them. I never felt something for her, but when I separate with my girlfriend, this small continues love things she did to me, started to provoke feelings inside me. I started to feel that I was in love with her, but I felt that something was wrong. I read a few things and it really felt like love bombing. I tried to get far way, the far way I was getting the harder she try to bring me near. But when I was coming back the more she distant she became. So I get away again and the same story continue. From that situation I was feeling very confuse I could not understand what was happening and I always felt anxious inside me because I just wanted to finish, I came to a point that I did not care if she felt something back, just to be clear with me, so all the scenarios inside me would stop. So one day I decided to tell her and again without being clear she suggest that she doesn’t feel the same. So I try this time to get away so the feelings will fade away. The more i get away, the more I found her in my way, the harder she try to come near me. I talk with her a few times and I explained to her what she was doing to me. She said she understood and that she was sorry, and every time was the same, she told me that she didn’t felt the same way, but her actions and body language was suggesting other things, she was telling me for example that she was cold and to go more near to her, or that she wanted a Masaz and things like these, and almost always before we leave she was leaving me with suggesting words, like I cannot be really honest with you, it’s really hard to be honest, or something like you will never know who I really feel. All this create something very confusing inside me I felt like I was walking on egg shells all the time. To try to keep it short because it’s a really big story, I finally found out that she did the same and worse to another person I knew. We were all in the same company. The guy almost kill hill self from the things she did to him, and he knew that nobody was going to believe him, because we knew this girls for how many years and she always like a saint. We try to talk to the other members of the company what she was doing to us and almost nobody believed us. After of a lot of pressure and a lot of lies she admitted that she felt for the other guy, but it was to complicated, and she did all that things because she was in love with him. The guy even if he also felt with her he did not wanted something with her because for him it was like live or death situation because he almost kill himself and he knew that everything he felt for her was not real she was just love bombing him. The problem with me is that because she never admitted all the things she did to me and she blame both of us (the guys) for the reaction we had after all the lyings and love bombing she did, a doubt born inside me. And it goes like this, what really happened, what if I did not understood correctly, what if I am the bad person and several. And because some of our friends took her side another cycle began inside me that nobody of my friends love me, that everyone believed her, every time that a friend doesn’t answer the phone I feel that something bad happened, that she convinced him also and several. Behind all these there is a huge fear, a fear that I did not understand what really happened, I fear that I will lose all of my friends and a fear sometimes that if she did all these things to me and she was as she was always telling to other people that I was one of her best friends for almost a decade then anyone around me can hurt me this way. It’s worth to mention that when i found out some of the truth I blocked her from everything but she reacted in way that was suggesting that we misa understood her for everything, she continue her life with another guy like nothing happened and she blame the both us for everything. After all the lies she told all the things she did I cannot understand why I cannot believe in my self and blame myself and doubt him. I came to a point yesterday that I started to search again that maybe I am the problem, that maybe I had something else including the OCD, and I started to develop a fear that maybe I am narcissist or bpd.