I’ve recently started ERP, and my OCD is giving me so many extra and intensified triggers. Like it is not happy with being challenged and it is throwing a fit or something. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Same. I’ve avoided std testing for nearly 3 months and it’s fucking EATING ME ALIVE. I’m going to the clinic today

@uwotm8 That sounds like progress to me!

@twicedouble How does it? Everyone keeps telling me off for even wanting to go back!! I am supposed to not go at all according to everyone else lol ? I was going every month, sometimes twice a month but this is the longest I’ve left it since my obsession began. I feel like I’m going backwards now cuz everyone says I need tocresist, but when I do, I’m literally frozen in time by fear I can’t function

@twicedouble Like I can’t even bring myself to have sex with my boyfriend because I feel guilty if I haven’t checked again, I feel like I’m putting him at risk and I can’t just accept the uncertainty no chance

@uwotm8 Oh I misunderstood. I thought you were avoiding something you need to do. Is the fear of an STD the obsession?

@twicedouble Yeah it is. I was avoiding testing for theee months yeah. But it’s gotten too overwhelming. The anxiety never came down, only stayed at a level 10/10 for a solid 3 months. I can’t bear it anymore

@uwotm8 Hey, three months is three months. That’s something to be proud of.

@twicedouble But everyone is telling me I’m making it worse now ? I feel like a failure

@uwotm8 This is getting close to assurance seeking. I can tell you that the longest I’ve gone without giving in is three hours. Three months is admirable.

@twicedouble What is close to assurance seeking? I don’t understand

@uwotm8 This may or may not be the case, so my apologies if I made an error, but saying “I feel like a failure” seems like you’re fishing for a specific answer. You want reassurance that you’re not a failure. It feeds your obsessions in an unhealthy way. Check this out for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

@twicedouble I wasn’t looking for anything I was just saying how I feel

@uwotm8 My apologies.

I’ve been resisting a compulsion about ancobtaminated shoe for 14 months now. The anxiety is still high and I still cannot wear or touch my shoe until I wipe it.

@Lark G. Does it get easier?

@uwotm8 I wish it was yet but now. I feel just as anxious by it 14 months later so I really don’t know what to do

@Lark G. I wish it was yes but no is what I meant

I’ve never heard of that what does that mean? I feel like I’m going insane lately cuz I refused a compulsion for three months , which I feel I can’t hold off any longer now

@uwotm8 An extinction burst is when the urge to do a compulsion increases as you don't do it

@ocdillustrated So we are fucked then lol ? I’m going to the clinic next week I have to I can’t bear it it’s been 3 months of hell

@uwotm8 Have you been doing other compulsions in the meantime? Those would keep the fear going longer

@ocdillustrated Well, I don’t know! I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I touch my eye because of that goddamn conjunctivitis I had ages ago. I worry I will infect / have infected myself from doing erp 3 months ago, hence needing to visit the clinic next week to make sure I fucking well didn’t!!! I can’t stop worrying my conjunctivitis WAS an std. I have to wash my hands every time I eat or touch myself/partner when I go anywhere near my eye. I just spent ages doing laundry too cuz I had to keep washing my hands before touching my underwear incase I infect them put them on then infect myself and my life is over and doomed he will leave me and think I cheated I called the clinics and sexual health helplines too. I also shaved all my pubes off this morning cuz I convinced myself I had crabs when I had an itch

@uwotm8 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but aside from going to the doctor once to get treated for conjunctivitis, all those actions you described are compulsions. It is vital that we eliminate the small compulsions in addituto the big ones. If we do one without the other, we create more pain for ourselves

@ocdillustrated What if it was an STD tho? I could have infected myself when I didn’t wash my hands! Should I not go to get tested again then?

@uwotm8 No definitely don't get tested again. Every time you do a compulsion, you are telling your brain that the fear represents real danger. The compulsions strengthen the distress from obsessions

@ocdillustrated Every time I get a sensation like an itch or something I panic how do I know I haven’t infected myself? He’s asked me to move in too. How can I afford tocrelax and give up my flat if I don’t know it won’t all go to shit further down the line? I can’t risk being kicked out again

@uwotm8 You can't know for sure. You can decide that recovery from OCD is worth the risk. If down the line it turns out that you have an infection, you'll deal with that then. But right now OCD is derailing your life. It's the top priority

@ocdillustrated Aw god I don’t think I can move forward without it though I literally feel 100% completely crippled