jlxlz
- Date posted
- 5y
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I’ve been actually struggling with this a lot lately, so it’s kind of funny that this was the first post I saw. I have a roommate who used to bully me. After so long of taking it and putting up with her I finally put my foot down and stood up for myself—but she still lives with me. We have the same friends. And we share a room with 2 other people. So to say that standing up for myself was the end of my journey is unfortunately not true. I’ve self harmed over what she did to me. I’ve tried to punish myself for “making out mutual friends and roommates uncomfortable,” as she would tell me I did. Her voice kept replaying in my head and I just couldn’t let it go. Sometimes it’s not your fault. Sometimes it’s the situation. And sometimes it feels like you’re the reason that everything is crumbling around you. But something I’m trying to do is not obsess over it anymore. It’s hard, and all I want to do is keep thinking about it, but when I do that, things just get worse. I don’t know what your situation is right now, but I want you to know that you aren’t alone. Regardless of anything related to ocd, sometimes it’s just hard to accept our feelings and not try to fix what is beyond our control. I understand. But I believe in you, and hope all is going well. ❤️
jlxlzjlxlz
- Date posted
- 5y
this made my day? thank you so much. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Basically, I made a joke against my friends favorite sports team and she got really angry because she’s very strong in her opinions. And I was just being a brat for fun because she’s like a sister to me. then she said she was going to choke me and I said do it. (Basically I was provoking her) and she choked for a second with fire in her eyes. I called her out for being aggressive and she apologized and said she was joking, but my mom said that the friend is an asshole and has always been aggressive. I still wanted to apologize for calling her out and stuff but I didn’t because I knew it was an OCD thought. It’s just hard to sit with the fact that I made her feel bad and I didn’t want too even though I was angry :/
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y
@jlxlz Girl, this is exactly the kind of personality I was dealing with too! The bully I mentioned is aggressive, she also would make “jokes” that were hurtful and would pass it off as “being a friend.” But that’s not what friends do. She, like the friend you mention, has VERY strong opinions. She cannot be swayed, and she always has to be right. Whether or not those things are intentional, if they’re hurting the way you see yourself or the way you’re interacting with others, you’re in a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships aren’t just limited to romantic ones, and I found that out the hard way. I too used to be close with my bully, but at a certain point enough had to be enough. My mom also thought this “friend” of mine was an ass to me. Usually my mom is right. ? But if you have a friend that’s stressing you out, making your obsessions worse, or making you doubt yourself (ie, you shouldn’t apologize for calling her out. If she was being aggressive, she was being aggressive. Plain facts. I had to do the same, so I understand why you feel guilty), you might want to reevaluate your friendship. I hope that helps!
jlxlzjlxlz
- Date posted
- 5y
@Jordyn ? thank you so much, I’m glad I have someone I can relate too :)
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