I feel like I have OCD, and I wanna know if anyone else with OCD experiences these things too, and how they cope with them. .First of all, since I was about 8 I’ve been obsessed with keeping things even. Like if I used my right hand too much, I would have to switch to my left, so it doesn’t feel “left out” . For as long as I could remember, I’ve always pretended to be somebody else. I knew it wasn’t real, and I knew I was only 5 and was at school, but I’m my head I was 30 and was at work, but it was all I thought about, it was never just a game to me. I still do this now and I’m 15, it’s annoying because I can’t focus on real things. . One of the things that affects me most is that, I feel like someone is watching me, and affecting my decisions. It could be a family member, a teacher, or a celebrity I like. It was a routine, I would choose who it would be that day, they would sit down and watch what I do, and I felt like I couldn’t be myself, because they were going to judge me. Sometimes it’s fun because it’s like a celebrity knows me and cares about what I do, but it’s also annoying because I had to be on my best behaviour, even if I was just lounging. . And the most consuming thing by far is my rituals. The biggest one is the way my morning affects my day. I’m OBSESSED with the way my days go. I can’t have a bad days. So if something slightly bad happens to me In the morning,like maybe I step on my charger, I feel like my day is going to be horrible. And I spend so much time telling myself it’s going to be fine, just to give my self temporary relief. It’s so annoying because it’s all I ever think about, and it’s only on weekdays.

Yes, but it’s not like a way that someone is staking me or anything like that. It’s like a person I know who’s watching me and talking about me. I can see them in my head sitting there talking about what I’m doing, it’s really weird. But they don’t know I know. It feels like I can never have alone time, cause there’s always someone with me.

@Mia26 I understand to a degree, do you think it's your ocd person talking?

@Cactus8 No I don’t think so. Whoever I’m imagining, doesn’t tell me what to do or talk to me. It sounds crazy, but that best way I can describe it’s like a reality show of me, and the person who’s watching is someone I know, and they’re commenting about what I’m doing, sometimes they’re judging me, sometimes they’re impressed by what I’m doing etc. I know it’s odd but I’ve been happening since I was very young, so it’s normal to me. I’m not even sure if I control it, or it just naturally happens.

@Mia26 Have you talked to someone professional about it? I can only take parts of what I understand but it doesnt sound crazy. If it's not having negative effects then I dont see the harm but perhaps still talking to someone just to understand it perhaps

This sounds like OCD to me. You have a lot of the “classic” symptoms: rituals, symmetry, fear of something bad happening... I would recommend getting in touch with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, preferably OCD, and get some support in working on each of these behaviors.

@Sunrise22 Thank you! I’m hoping this app will help too.

It is tiring and a really long battle. Have you tried meditation and mindfulness? I find it helps me get out of my own head for a bit, I tend to only have mental compulsions so I can only give advice for that I'm afraid x

I use the headspace app and I've done a few courses. It gives me different techniques for different emotions. Dont always use them but it's nice to have something there

@Cactus8 That’s good to hear! Thanks.