pgam14
- Date posted
- 5y
Ramblin’ GuyRamblin’ Guy
- Date posted
- 5y
Your checking. That’s a compulsion, False attraction is normal as well.
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
I tried to accept myself as gay and that I had internalized homophobia. It faded and the OCD came back because the OCD brain wants absolute certainty. Maybe you have OCD. Maybe you don't. There is no absolute certainty
Ramblin’ GuyRamblin’ Guy
- Date posted
- 5y
Did you yourself have sexual attraction towards the opposite sex when you accepted this?
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ramblin’ Guy I posted my answer to your question below
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
I have strong sexual attraction and romantic attraction to women (the opposite sex) . I can tell if a guy is attractive and feel good socializing with another dude, but I'm not sexually attracted to a man's butt. I tried expirementing with a guy and felt really disgusted at the thought of penetrating another man's butt with any part of my body. I tried to force myself to get into it, but felt even more disgusted. My OCD still finds ways to debate that result. Especially the idea that I'm an egodystonic homosexual whose internalized homophobia is responsible for feelings of disgust, or aversion to being the submissive role in gay sex. That worries me that if breaking down homophobia will cause me to choose to be gay, because I haven't had a lot of luck dating. One girl I dated 3 months and really liked didn't want to be with a guy who tried sex with another guy. It looks so hopeless that girls will ever accept me for trying it. Any advice?
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
i just wanted to be honest with her that OCD has been a huge factor in my life*
yanni94yanni94
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. Stop checking, close your eyes, focus on your breath and when you start thinking and checking again re focus on your breath. Ignore thoughts and calm your anxiety this way. Please.
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
I've struggled with hocd for 6 years now but I never experimented with another man. It's difficult to bring this topic up with girls
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
I regret expiementing. I thought it would get rid of the doubt once and for all. Even though I felt disgusted by it, it didn't get rid of the OCD for good. My ocd always finds a way to make obsess. Anyone in their right mind would have been "Sure enough" if they had my experience
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
It most likely is hocd
pgam14pgam14
- Date posted
- 5y
It doesnt feel like it
Sunshine1Sunshine1
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel that same way- why do u feel that way?
pgam14pgam14
- Date posted
- 5y
At first it felt like hocd but now it feels like I am actually attractet to girls but I still dont want it
Ramblin’ GuyRamblin’ Guy
- Date posted
- 5y
@pgam14 What are your feelings?
pgam14pgam14
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ramblin’ Guy When I watch videos my mind is like am I attracted to her and It feels like I am but I am also really anxious and crying and I cannot stop checking but checking males me feel so anxious
yanni94yanni94
- Date posted
- 5y
Just stop checking, it's a compulsion
yanni94yanni94
- Date posted
- 5y
Accept the anxiety and the fear but don't search for videos or whatever you want to prove you're not gay. That's the real problem
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
I admire your honesty, I also struggle with hocd.. are old are you ?
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
28
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
It's okay ik another person with hocd who experimented. I'm 25 btw, even after having 3 girlfriends and being with over 25 girls my brain still tells me I'm gay
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
If I may ask, have you told your girlfriends about your OCD before? I feel like I'm unlovable by women because I expiremented. If you have told them, how is a good way to bring it up and word it?
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
@js94
Ramblin’ GuyRamblin’ Guy
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve told my ex about my ocd and the themes. It was about 4 months after being together and have relations. Her answer was “clearly that (HOCD) one isn’t true”.
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
Well one girl used me of being a "faggot" so that wasn't good and my last gf obviously knew I wasn't gay because of how much we had sex. But I brought it up I have ocd and its called hocd and she didnt ask a lot of questions. I also feel like girls won't take me serious tho or that I'm not man enough.
Ramblin’ GuyRamblin’ Guy
- Date posted
- 5y
My suggestion is it’s something you discuss for a “plan of attack” with your therapist so you have one. And really, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect your illness?
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
accused me *
Determined91Determined91
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 21w
How to counter hocd (in my opinion)
Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 19w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
edimichael
- Date posted
- 17w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
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