- Username
- Ditto~
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m about five months post breakup and I joined here like barely a month post breakup. I know how hard it is, it’s one of the crappiest things I went through (he was also my best friend/ on and off bf of two years, and I lost all my friends as well cause of him). Has fucked up my senior year. Has messed me up. Made me have a terrible and fast ocd spiral and everything. I went through that hardening stage, and all I can say is let it happen. However you feel, let yourself feel. I was in that stage for I would say two months until I started feeling again than I fell back into it. Recently, beginning of January I got out and stayed out. Fifth month. Let yourself feel how you feel. Breakups are the worse things. I still cry. I feel better now since he sent me a long apology last night (he blamed all our problems on me for half a year and gaslighted me). But how you’re doing I say is completely fine. Don’t rush yourself. My therapist told me to be aware of the stages of grief, as losing anyone in any way is painful. Let yourself feel all stages and if you go back to a stage, don’t be mad at yourself just sit with it. It’ll all come together in time:)
Thank you so much
Sometime i think I'm not a human, my heart completely broken after her I'm highly sensitive and after these bad situation i just act like robot.
I’m no expert at this. I am really sad these days too. Hope some of what I said helps.
Thank you for talking to me it makes me feel better❤️
@saj You’re welcome. About to start my day now. Journey through it, you got this.
I know what you feel. My girlfriend broke up with me about 5 month ago and i understand her emotions about me were fake and she just stay with me to satisfy her sick mind she want me for transfer all negative thoughts to me and feel better i really loved her but i understand she just played a game with me with my all emotions . I remember her everyday cause i really love her even when i understand that. My life fucked up completely I'm depressed but i hope I forgot her for ever i can do it with start new relationship but i feel if i do it i am a cheater and all of my emotions are fake.i prefer to suffer instead of doing this.i don't know what to say you but if you find a solution tell us.
This is my first time going through this amount of grief. I was afraid of it, thought I couldn’t handle it. But I am doing my best to allow myself to feel all the feelings and issues and go through it instead of avoiding it like I used to. I don’t want to be with anyone else right now, so I just feel low and trying to let time do it’s thing, while also working on speaking kindly to myself, having nicer thoughts about myself, because I deal with a lot of guilt and shame and the self-confidence needs work. In other words, don’t run away from feeling sad and everything else you feel in such a way that you don’t allow yourself to go through the process and ultimately let it go. You don’t want to bring those issues into another relationship. I am sorry she transferred negative thoughts to you. I did the same with my bf, not because I was trying to play a game, but because I was just that pessimistic within my own thoughts and was going through soo much. I simultaneously did that (maybe not in the same way as your ex) but was very kind to him, and he knew the difference, he could tell I wasn’t malicious, and that it was my problem. He even tried to help me. I don’t know if that’s your story with her, but I just say that because actions and interpretations don’t always match up with intentions and all that person was dealing with inside. This is not to say go back, but to still move forward with more understanding.
How I explained that was probably really bad, sorry. I was just a negative person, but not mean or negative towards him, if that makes more sense. I am trying to work through all that went wrong with me in that relationship, all the spots that revealed themselves about me that needed improvement.
@Ditto~ Thanks for your sympathy. I understand 70 present of responsibility was for me. I spend all of my time for her it's not normal i made her to hate me after a while , I wasn't right person for her , her last treatment make me blue she didn't tell me why she wanna leave me even she didn't answer my call. I can't sleep more than 1 hour every night after broke up. I feel completely empty.i tried to suicide but i can't I'm scared, I can't think logically, i lose my goals. I think i split into several person that all of them are sick.
800-273-8255 National suicide prevention hotline. It’s not uncommon to be pulled within different directions and feelings within yourself. I used to hate that and want to be all on one accord but I just let it be now and accept myself. It’s normal to feel empty inside after a breakup but in time it will lift as your life starts getting filled in other ways. I am VERY sensitive too. But as a woman I am more allowed by society to do so. The pressures of society on men can make it hard for men who are sensitive. I encourage you to be the sensitive person you are and learn how you want that to look for You, not anyone else, going forward. This sensitivity is part of you and doesn’t make you weak - I had to learn that too. Acting like a robot is something a lot of people do, to cope. I encourage you to go after non-destructive things you care about or like (ex. Dance, volunteer, sports, outdoor activities, philosophical discussions, faith groups). Get to know You again.
Thank you fo that. I think a boy or a man with highly sensitive emotions means he is weak . My physical body and my Personality is weak , i can't resist because I'm biologicaly weak. I tried alot to forgot her without making a new relationship but I can't. OCD makes me act like robot sometimes i prefer to not have emotions to not be sensitive it's weakness i see people who doesn't have this much emotions are living happier than me.when i go to university i see couples and feel upset and i think how awful i am .every single day i think about my fucking personality that is hateful and unacceptable.
@saj If ur physically ‘weak’ and mentally ‘weak,’ it doesn’t mean ur a failure. I struggle with those ‘weak’ feelings a lot, but a lot of it comes from comparing myself to others, and not looking at my own life, what I like, and what I’m good at. In fact, I’ve had others point out to me what I was good at because I didn’t know (part of an exercise from a book). And truth is, though I may be ‘weak’ in some things, I really shine in other ways. It sucks for me to see couples too. I feel like a failure. But it doesn’t mean I am in totality a failure. Lastly, they may or may not be happier, you never know. But if they are, doesn’t mean they don’t have other issues they’ll never show you. Everyone has their own trials in life. You just see all of yours. It sucks to not succeed in all the areas of life you want to, but I am really now working hard on recognizing what is good and keeping things in perspective. And being outside in nature does something wonderful to me, even on the harder days.
@Ditto~ Yes you are right. Thank you for spending time to answer and talk to me, you are so kind ❤️ best wishes for you
@saj Likewise
Hey guys I'm going through a rough long term breakup and my gf just cut it off the month of values day none the less and its it's only been a few days but she seems like she doing amazing and I can't even process anything without thinking of memories of us. I'm so scared right now but reading these posts have helped me to some extent. Any other advice would be so appreciated ty
It’s been a month since the breakup, and all I can think about still is my ex. While I walk, eat, sleep. It feels like it’s interrupting my life. The breakup triggered my depression to come back after a few months. I’m not on any medication but I feel like I need it now. Any go through the same thing?
another post break-up day that just completely wrecked me. i hate how much this shit won’t leave my mind. i can’t stop going over every detail and bringing myself to the verge of a panic attack. these last few days have been absolute ick. it’s been almost two months—i don’t understand why i’m not better. and it feels so stupid to feel this way and not have my best friend to confide in because he’s not by my side anymore. i just feel sick to my stomach and like walking away from everything i’ve been doing to distract myself because clearly it’s not working. if you have any advice on breakups and navigating them with ocd, please share—i’m struggling more and more every day.
So Iv been doing better and im proud of myself. Everything seems to be going okay but I still feel numb. Its been almost 9 months and I barley feel happiness, love, anything pretty for that matter. I can only feel the negative ones like feeling blue from time to time. I just wonder if I’ll be “normal” again. I miss how I felt with my boyfriend. That overwhelming warmth I felt to the point i had yo stop myself from biting him because it was irresistible. It hurts that i cant feel but it also hurts that I might never be the same. How can I go on like this? What am I gonna do once we decide to live together or engaged ? Im always thinking of the future even as far as what it I go through postpartum depression. Im not asking for reassurance but these questions are on my mind everyday. Im so scared im going to go into that dark hole where i was 9 months ago. If anyone has some advice or someone who’s been going through this longer than I have can leave me comments on their experience id appreciate it.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond