Lost my relationship, and now I feel like I’m walling off into a hard shell. I’ve cried a lot, been depressed, and not saying much, and I guess I feel since I live with other people that I have to be ‘stable’ by now. But it hasn’t even been a month yet. How do I stop this hardening?

Thank you so much

Thank you for talking to me it makes me feel better❤️

@saj You’re welcome. About to start my day now. Journey through it, you got this.

This is my first time going through this amount of grief. I was afraid of it, thought I couldn’t handle it. But I am doing my best to allow myself to feel all the feelings and issues and go through it instead of avoiding it like I used to. I don’t want to be with anyone else right now, so I just feel low and trying to let time do it’s thing, while also working on speaking kindly to myself, having nicer thoughts about myself, because I deal with a lot of guilt and shame and the self-confidence needs work. In other words, don’t run away from feeling sad and everything else you feel in such a way that you don’t allow yourself to go through the process and ultimately let it go. You don’t want to bring those issues into another relationship. I am sorry she transferred negative thoughts to you. I did the same with my bf, not because I was trying to play a game, but because I was just that pessimistic within my own thoughts and was going through soo much. I simultaneously did that (maybe not in the same way as your ex) but was very kind to him, and he knew the difference, he could tell I wasn’t malicious, and that it was my problem. He even tried to help me. I don’t know if that’s your story with her, but I just say that because actions and interpretations don’t always match up with intentions and all that person was dealing with inside. This is not to say go back, but to still move forward with more understanding.

How I explained that was probably really bad, sorry. I was just a negative person, but not mean or negative towards him, if that makes more sense. I am trying to work through all that went wrong with me in that relationship, all the spots that revealed themselves about me that needed improvement.

@Ditto~ Thanks for your sympathy. I understand 70 present of responsibility was for me. I spend all of my time for her it's not normal i made her to hate me after a while , I wasn't right person for her , her last treatment make me blue she didn't tell me why she wanna leave me even she didn't answer my call. I can't sleep more than 1 hour every night after broke up. I feel completely empty.i tried to suicide but i can't I'm scared, I can't think logically, i lose my goals. I think i split into several person that all of them are sick.

Thank you fo that. I think a boy or a man with highly sensitive emotions means he is weak . My physical body and my Personality is weak , i can't resist because I'm biologicaly weak. I tried alot to forgot her without making a new relationship but I can't. OCD makes me act like robot sometimes i prefer to not have emotions to not be sensitive it's weakness i see people who doesn't have this much emotions are living happier than me.when i go to university i see couples and feel upset and i think how awful i am .every single day i think about my fucking personality that is hateful and unacceptable.

@saj If ur physically ‘weak’ and mentally ‘weak,’ it doesn’t mean ur a failure. I struggle with those ‘weak’ feelings a lot, but a lot of it comes from comparing myself to others, and not looking at my own life, what I like, and what I’m good at. In fact, I’ve had others point out to me what I was good at because I didn’t know (part of an exercise from a book). And truth is, though I may be ‘weak’ in some things, I really shine in other ways. It sucks for me to see couples too. I feel like a failure. But it doesn’t mean I am in totality a failure. Lastly, they may or may not be happier, you never know. But if they are, doesn’t mean they don’t have other issues they’ll never show you. Everyone has their own trials in life. You just see all of yours. It sucks to not succeed in all the areas of life you want to, but I am really now working hard on recognizing what is good and keeping things in perspective. And being outside in nature does something wonderful to me, even on the harder days.

@Ditto~ Yes you are right. Thank you for spending time to answer and talk to me, you are so kind ❤️ best wishes for you

@saj Likewise