Hi. I suffer from contamination ocd. I suffer from two chronic illnesses and, when I get sick (even from just a cold), it is magnified and takes an especially long time to recover. The ocd developed because I wanted to avoid aggravating my illness. I’m also very scared that what I’m feeling in my body isn’t normal and constantly wonder if something is wrong medically. I understand that with my illnesses (POTS and hyper-mobility syndrome), I feel a lot of weird sensations, but I’m always afraid I won’t be able to tell if something is going seriously wrong. I get a lot of panic attacks, wash my hands to the point of bleeding, and am constantly cleaning myself. I am tired of letting this control me, and I want to get better.

Recently, I’ve been struggling a ton with what I eat/put into my body? I’m a first year college student with a few different health issues (including IBS), and lately it’s been hard for me to find food on campus that doesn’t upset my stomach. I also have pretty severe emetophobia, and feel extremely anxious when I feel sick. The ironic thing is that being anxious makes me feel even worse, so I end up sticking myself in an impossible loophole. My OCD has taken hold of these fears over the past few months, and it’s been such a struggle. Especially since people have been getting food poisoning from various dining halls on my campus lately. My OCD has gotten so bad that sometimes I’m too afraid to eat food other than what I buy myself. I feel so trapped. I don’t want my OCD to affect my physical health or prevent me from eating, bc I love eating!! It’s the fear of getting sick that’s the problem. And it’s even harder when everything is so unfamiliar. Just wondering if anyone could relate. Advice is appreciated!

(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.

Hello, i have very severe contamination ocd, and as i am writing this i feel my hands are dirty lol, but anyways i wanted to know if there’s anyone specialised in Contamination ocd? No matter what type because i really need help and i looked up things but it doesn’t help please!!