The fact that I haven’t been In the mood to do anything sexual with my boyfriend just makes me even more worried and scared that I’m just lesbian at this point. I keep asking myself questions, but I just feel like lazy and stuff when it comes to doing sexual things now. I wasn’t like this before so idk what happened. No I’m not on medication, I don’t really have anxiety so idk why I’ve been feeling like this.

Sexual Orientation OCD

rlr

Date posted: 5y

i juuust posted something similar to this and it’s one of the thoughts/obsessions that messes with me the most. i haven’t felt in the mood for sex with my boyfriend almost at all since it started over a year ago and a lot of times it doesn’t even feel like anxiety to me either. it’s such a confusing thing and I’m so sorry you’re going through this but it does make sense that if you keep overthinking something (sex with your boyfriend), it will be harder to achieve and make you feel stressed and therefore not in the mood... sorry if the ending didn’t make sense it’s hard to put into words for me but just know you’re not alone!

Idk

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much. I’ve been beating myself up so much lately, I feel so sad and just not good. Worst part is my boyfriend isn’t supportive of me and how I feel.

rlr

Date posted: 5y

@advice? I tooootally feel you! broke down about it today because we had a lil sexual moment and I kept checking to see (sorry if TMI) if I was wet down there and I wasn’t because the whole time I was sooo in my head about the whole thing and so I just started crying and kept trying to talk to him about it but I guess he just doesn’t think any of it is as big of a deal as I do. it’s super hard when you’re with someone who doesn’t deal with the same thoughts, obsessions, compulsions, etc as u do. it totally makes sense for u to feel sad and not good, i feel the exact same way and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. it just feels like everything (the relationship, me as a person, everything) is doomed.

Idk

Date posted: 5y

@rlr Yes he never understood my obsessions and it really just sucks. I used to check a lot when it make to being sexual, but now I don’t even feel like doing anything sexual. It really just bums me out because I was never like this but also it makes me feel like crap. Like if something is wrong with me? So it’s really crappy. But I sucks because it almost feels like there’s no explanation as to why I’m like this and that’s the worst part you know. But I mainly deal with hocd at the moment.

rlr

Date posted: 5y

@advice? ohh yeah okay sometimes hocd and rocd go hand in hand they do for me. yeah that’s super annoying and uncomfortable for him to not understand you but i guess we can’t make people understand us if our brains just work differently. like a non ocd brain just doesn’t get it. it makes sense for it to make you feel like crap, it makes me feel the same way :/ it’s honestly one of the (if not THE) worst things i’ve been through

Idk

Date posted: 5y

@rlr Yes I had rocd which lead me to hocd, but I’m mainly going through hocd. But yes it is annoying but I understand why they wouldn’t you know. If I didn’t have it I wouldn’t either, but that’s okay just asking as they respect it. But he doesn’t so that’s what sucks.

Idk

Date posted: 5y

@rlr Thank you for talking to me btw I really appreciate it.

rlr

Date posted: 5y

@advice? yeah I totally understand that, it’s super inconsiderate that he doesn’t respect it. what sorts of things does he do to make you feel disrespected about it if u don’t mind sharing? and no problem! talk all you want because it honestly helps me a lot too to talk to others who are going through something similar

Idk

Date posted: 5y

@rlr Well he knows about my last obsession, that was thinking he’d murder me and it caused me major anxiety and terrible thoughts just like any obsession. But it lead me to break up with him. He’s been really selfish about it thinking he’s the only one who suffered when I did as well. So he just calls them dumb and calls me selfish for it. As for the thoughts I have now, he doesn’t know. But me not being in the mood because I’m sad or something. He kinda Just gets upset with me or just upset at it. That to me hurts me, because it makes me feel uncomfortable and disrespected because he doesn’t understand. Or he just won’t stop bringing sex up and that’s like pressure. Hope this made sense lol.

rlr

Date posted: 5y

@advice? okay I see, my boyfriend kind of used to put blake on me because my obsession has been around us having sex so one time after sex I kinda freaked out and cried and told him idk if I’m attracted to him which made him super insecure so he’s kinda blame me for that because I got super depressed after that and he’s like u hurt me too why should I have to take care of you right now??? that’s so uncomfortable and gut wrenching for someone you love to act that way and I totally understand that dynamic. and I totally feel the discomfort of trying to make excuses in order to avoid sex, I’ve been doing it for over a year now lol. If u don’t mind me asking how old are you guys? my boyfriend and I are 22

rlr

Date posted: 5y

do u ever watch the youtube channel awaken into love? it touches on a lot of rocd problems that I face and makes me feel less alone

mattis!

Date posted: 22w

Feels so real

I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..

LiaExe28

Date posted: 21w

Couple of rough days - soocd

I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad

Mariabae

Date posted: 19w

would like a response

Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.

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