chamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
ocdsurvivoremocdsurvivorem
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so terrible. I’ve experienced very similar. I’m 19 but some things I did in high school literally keep me up at night. I was always a sweet and gentle kid but I was always morbidly curious about violent things like serial killers. It was horrible and I saw some terrible shit. I hate myself for it. I too feel like I don’t deserve to be alive sometimes. I always say that I feel like I don’t deserve any good things. That’s not true. Being a kid, ESPECIALLY a kid who grew up when we did, was fucking hard. Kids were awful, we were awful, the environment was awful. But we learn that what we did was wrong and we become better people. That’s the way growing up works. Everyone did bad things when they were young and dumb. I think it’s kinda a rite of passage. You learn that you are more than the trauma you experienced and the shit you did when you were younger. Sometimes you gotta see into that deep pit and say “hell no, that’s not me!” When you’re young, you’re figuring out who you are right? You wanna be a teacher, an artist, a doctor, whatever. What a lot of people don’t realize is that part of figuring out who you are is figuring out your morals. Figuring out if you’re a “good” person or a “bad” person. But the bad shit you did then clearly isn’t what you wanna be because you’re so repulsed by it!! So you were young, you did something foolish (maybe even horrible), and you LEARNED! That’s SO awesome and I’m proud of you! You really aren’t the shitty things you did in the far-removed past. That’s why people who have been sober for years aren’t called drug addicts. The person you are is who you CHOOSE to be. Who you are presently choosing to be tells me more about you than what you did when you were younger. Know that with time, the kid you were will be in the far, far past. With each day, you’ll learn to love the person you are choosing to be. Trust me. You are worthy of love and good things. You don’t deserve to die. You’re gonna make it.
chamomilegirlchamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
I keep coming back to your comment. it’s really one of the only things that has got me through these past few days and I can’t thank you enough. I keep telling myself that what i did when I was young is an exception to all of this but I think that’s OCD fighting against your very true and kind words!!
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Your comments has really helped me too❤
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Ofcourse you do, we all do. That's ocd talking!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s not true! It’s just your ocd being a jerk, you deserve to be happy!!❤️
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
Says who?
swish9swish9
- Date posted
- 5y
Says OCD!!!
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
@swish9 Is OCD worth believing?
chamomilegirlchamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - ocdillustrated real event ocd
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@chamomilegirl Real event OCD is still ocd. Not different to the other themes.
chamomilegirlchamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd it’s hard to separate it because there’s some truth to my obsession. i feel like such a disgusting person and it’s so hard to feel like this every single day.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@chamomilegirl how so?
chamomilegirlchamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
@XXXXXXX what do you mean
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@chamomilegirl whats the truth in your obsession? What happened?
chamomilegirlchamomilegirl
- Date posted
- 5y
@XXXXXXX I did things that i’m very ashamed of when I was 12-13 years old. I’m 20 now and i can’t let it go and it’s ruining my life
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@chamomilegirl you were 12-13. That's young. I used to do weird fucked up shit at that age too. It doesn't mean anything because it was so long ago. Move on.
swish9swish9
- Date posted
- 5y
Nooooo!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond