Just applied for a new job and at the end they asked if I had any disabilities and they listed a few :Use of Wheelchair, Autism, Blindness, Deafness, and then they listed PTSD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I about died. I didn’t know why it hurts to think of OCD as a disability, but it just does. It hurts like it means I don’t deserve a high paying job. Just thinking about something so personal having to be on file: I have a broken brain. It’s a disgusting feeling. I want to rip this out of me. Is this how the world sees us? Disabled?

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.

I was wondering if you guys agree. I have PTSD, GAD, depression, an eating disorder and OCD. I feel like every time, OCD is taken the least serious, while to me its the worse... Also, my OCD makes it hard for me to search for help cause my OCD tells me Im a bad person, I dont deserve help, Im not allowed to show my emotions Because of that I cant show how bad it is, especially cause its pure ocd, so people dont mention my struggle or take me serious. But i feel like, in general, of all my disorders, OCD is taken the least serious, while to me its the worst of all. I hate it... i hate OCD so much, its debilitating and nobody can see it.

I feel like OCD ruins so much. My boyfriend broke up with me because of it. It got to a point where I made him do compulsions (ex: open and close the door a certain amount of times). I have OCD in combination with PTSD so I would get triggers often. He got to a point where he got up and left me while I was at work and cut contact completely. I don’t know how to feel and I feel like a failure. It’s been two months and my OCD has been nonstop telling me I was an abuser or narcissistic and that’s why he left. Everyone tells me I’m a broken record… but they don’t know that this is torture for me, too. I wish I could start over with my ex, but I can’t, and that bothers my OCD, too. Lack of control. I also seem to have memory issues in that relationship, I can’t remember what happened or not, and I’m not sure if that’s part of my OCD.