I have really bad HOCD. It’s the only intrusive thought I’ve ever experienced. My therapist is 100% convinced it’s HOCD. I’ve had short relationships with boys and my feelings for them have been so strong. For the last 2 or 3 years I didn’t have these thoughts and I never had the desire to be in a relationship with a girl. But now my OCD is tricking me into thinking I did. I used to have girl crushes or be curious about things but for as long as I can remember since I was a little girl my dream was to always marry a boy. I know it’s going to take time and I’m not looking to get over it straight away but I’m just looking for advice on how to accept that this is just OCD? For some reason every time I try tell myself it isn’t real it’s just an intrusive thought my brain goes no you are just in denial. These thoughts are making me feel really ill any advice on how I can accept its OCD???

Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.

HOCD, ROCD and TOCD . . . So my OCD recently all began with ROCD, I felt guilty all the time with my boyfriend, I wanted to stay with him so bad and I love him so much but my anxiety kept telling me to leave and that something wasn't right, that I'm going to be alone forever. Then my HOCD came up, "something doesn't seem right, what if you're actually gay?" and I struggled with this for about 2-3 months. After accepting that even if I am gay, I'm staying with my boyfriend.. The theme of being a transgender came up. That was the absolute worst of them all. It was at a time my anxiety was at its Peak so I was feeling disassociated and my mind just tried to explain that feeling as "you're in the wrong body". I was thoroughly convinced I was a man in a girls body for a solid 3 weeks, I woke up and that was the first thing on my mind "your a man and now youre going to lose your boyfriend, your life and everything that makes you, you." I didn't want to be a man, but my mind was saying "too bad, you are". I eventually went to therapy for this feeling, (they didn't diagnose me with OCD so they weren't treating me as an OCD patient) the thoughts eventually went away but now I'm back on my HOCD. Ive now thorougly convinced myself that I'm gay and will be with a woman for the rest of my life. I don't want to be and this thought scares me. I want to be with my boyfriend, not a woman. But my mind is saying "too bad, just accept that your a lesbian, you're in denial, just come out" but I don't want to be a lesbian ? can anyone relate to the feeling of convincing yourself to the point where you believe it?

Hey guys. i’m a 14 year old female and i think i may be struggling from HOCD. My reason for this is because i really struggle setting aside thoughts about my sexual orientation. Growing up i always wanted to marry a man and have kids but up untill now there’s something in my head telling me that i don’t want to do that and i’m making it up. i have all kinds of intrusive thoughts about s€xual intercourse with girls and even just being in a relationship with a girl and they have become that common it’s like in my head that i’ve accepted it and my head is tricking me into the fact i like it, when in reality i don’t! there’s so much more to this but all i want to know is is this HOCD and i’m not in denial? pls it’s causing me so much distress, i’d appreciate any help! <3