- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I honestly never have read a post that I can relate to more. I honestly had to scroll up to see it I had writen this post...seriously. I’ve done an intensive outpatient program that helped quite a bit but the unfortunate truth is that this condition, like any other chronic medical condition, will likely be with us for the rest of our lives. My advice to you, stick with therapy. ERP is extremely helpful for OCD... I’m still on the fence about it’s benefits for those of us strictly with hypochondriasis. For me personally, I find that ERP was difficult to get me triggered because the exposures were set up rather than real life, which are the ones that really effect me. Another big thing- NO compulsions. That includes checking your lymph node, going to the doctor for reassurance, seeking reassurance from others, googling, mental rumination, and/or avoidance. Have you talked to your doctor about the fact that you have hypochondriasis, or illness anxiety disorder? I did and it helped a lot for both me and my provider to understand how to better help me. Yes, we lose some of our credibility as a patient, but it’s a valid loss. Have you tried medication? Lexapro worked fuckin wonders for me but I’m currently off it as I’m trying to get pregnant. Diet is a big thing too, try and reduce inflammation, as it can trigger obsessions. Probiotics believe it or not also can help with allievating some depression/anxiety, maybe not for everyone, but maybe it’s worth a shot if you haven’t tried? Lastly, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It fucking sucks so hard and has literally consumed me for the last several years... since getting engaged and then married, for sure. It gets better (and then worse, and then better again, at least from my experience). Just know that you are not alone.
- Date posted
- 5y
You know that saying, "Google is your friend"? Well, in the case of OCD Google most certainly is not your friend. IMO having a world of information available to you in moments is not always helpful, especially with OCD. It allows you to feed it so much and in some cases will even give you reassurance that you 100% are RIGHT in your worry. I know it's difficult, but really try to stay away from the Google searches, they really are not helpful. Just accept you need to live not knowing if you have an illness, the same as anyone else and, until you do get an illness (if you do), you will get on with your life doing the things that matter.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I have to stop that, although sometimes it can be reassuring (but then I don’t belive when it is). The thing is I am afraid I already have an ilness that I don’t of and about which I will find out when it’s too late.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sometimes_mary That's one if the things about OCD, it makes you worry about future events, which you really can't control. No one can tell you that you won't get ill. You can take action to lessen the chances, by eating well and exercise, but the is no guarantee. I'm not sure how you would deal with this. Unfortunately you will need to learn how to sit and live with the unknown, which is bloody difficult.
- Date posted
- 5y
True, that’s the big challenge, accepting you cannot control what happens. Yes, bloody difficult. But it helps to know I am not the the only one with that struggle :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I have gotten maybe about 8 EKG’s within the lest 2 years? I’ve also gotten an echo done, and I got a heart monitor to track my heart over the course of maybe 2 weeks, back last year. Even though I have been to the emergency room so many times because of panic attacks that I thought were heart attacks, and went with a Cardiologist I still obsess and worry. I always think that I am going to develop some kind of heart problem after getting the tests done. Like if they’re just suddenly going to appear/my heart will suddenly have an issue. I especially get nervous when the pain is in the center of my chest + I get a tight feeling like I have pressure on my chest and can’t breathe completely. Please someone share their experience of how they controlled their health anxiety, especially if it’s related to this.
- Date posted
- 14w
I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.
- Date posted
- 14w
I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?
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