- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I honestly never have read a post that I can relate to more. I honestly had to scroll up to see it I had writen this post...seriously. I’ve done an intensive outpatient program that helped quite a bit but the unfortunate truth is that this condition, like any other chronic medical condition, will likely be with us for the rest of our lives. My advice to you, stick with therapy. ERP is extremely helpful for OCD... I’m still on the fence about it’s benefits for those of us strictly with hypochondriasis. For me personally, I find that ERP was difficult to get me triggered because the exposures were set up rather than real life, which are the ones that really effect me. Another big thing- NO compulsions. That includes checking your lymph node, going to the doctor for reassurance, seeking reassurance from others, googling, mental rumination, and/or avoidance. Have you talked to your doctor about the fact that you have hypochondriasis, or illness anxiety disorder? I did and it helped a lot for both me and my provider to understand how to better help me. Yes, we lose some of our credibility as a patient, but it’s a valid loss. Have you tried medication? Lexapro worked fuckin wonders for me but I’m currently off it as I’m trying to get pregnant. Diet is a big thing too, try and reduce inflammation, as it can trigger obsessions. Probiotics believe it or not also can help with allievating some depression/anxiety, maybe not for everyone, but maybe it’s worth a shot if you haven’t tried? Lastly, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It fucking sucks so hard and has literally consumed me for the last several years... since getting engaged and then married, for sure. It gets better (and then worse, and then better again, at least from my experience). Just know that you are not alone.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You know that saying, "Google is your friend"? Well, in the case of OCD Google most certainly is not your friend. IMO having a world of information available to you in moments is not always helpful, especially with OCD. It allows you to feed it so much and in some cases will even give you reassurance that you 100% are RIGHT in your worry. I know it's difficult, but really try to stay away from the Google searches, they really are not helpful. Just accept you need to live not knowing if you have an illness, the same as anyone else and, until you do get an illness (if you do), you will get on with your life doing the things that matter.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know I have to stop that, although sometimes it can be reassuring (but then I don’t belive when it is). The thing is I am afraid I already have an ilness that I don’t of and about which I will find out when it’s too late.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@sometimes_mary That's one if the things about OCD, it makes you worry about future events, which you really can't control. No one can tell you that you won't get ill. You can take action to lessen the chances, by eating well and exercise, but the is no guarantee. I'm not sure how you would deal with this. Unfortunately you will need to learn how to sit and live with the unknown, which is bloody difficult.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
True, that’s the big challenge, accepting you cannot control what happens. Yes, bloody difficult. But it helps to know I am not the the only one with that struggle :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
Guys I need help. I feel so alone . Basically I have this compulsion where I feel the need to write everything but this stems from me being anxious about EVERYTHING. Like my mom came in my room and I was irritated and snapped, immediately regretted now I keep writing “don’t be mean to mom next time” but I keep thinking about it. Then I think about how I finally left my house today and all the surfaces I touched that could’ve been contaminated and now I’m writing “next time don’t touch this and this”. Then I think about all the things I need to be doing for this week and I’m writing “don’t forget to do this and this” even though I’ve written it 5 times already. This is what happens everyday btw. My brain always thinks about something I need to be doing and making me anxious that I’ll forget it which is why I write it down on my notes app. I’m sooo mentally exhausted I need help pls!! Anyone have any advice ? I used to think I need to stop the writing but really I need to stop the anxious thoughts coming into my head . People say I need to accept the thoughts and let it go but that’s too hard for me
- Date posted
- 20w ago
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
It’s been 4 years. 4 years since I spiralled into a world controlled by rituals of 4, it started as 2, then 3, then 4 - my safe number. The amount of times I wash my hands after touching something dirty and how many repeats it takes until I feel ‘clean’, the amount of taps I make when closing doors to make sure I don’t ‘die’, the amount of times I rinse cutlery and plates before eating off them, the amount of times I disinfect things. My OCD subtype is contamination and I know 2020 lockdowns and the pandemic caused it to spiral but what started as a small ritual quickly became bigger until I no longer remembered what my life was like without the obsessive thoughts of germs and contamination. Could that person be ill? What if I go outside to the shops and someone makes me sick? You can’t answer the door to get that package from the delivery driver because he might make you sick, oh you can’t put the shopping away without disinfecting it first - what if someone has coughed on it? ‘I’ve got to wear gloves to do that’ I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. For 4 years I’ve lived like this, the ‘I don’t want to touch that’ or ‘I can’t go to this place because I don’t want to get ill and die’ ‘can you go do that for me as I don’t think I can right now’ - I know my OCD is irrational, I know the likelihood of those things actually happening are slim to none and I know my OCD stems from a need of control in my life because for so many years I felt like everything in my life was out of my control. But no matter how much I know of how many books I read, how many mindful practices I do the panic I feel after being ‘exposed’ or before exposing myself to a trigger is horrible. I’ve avoided and avoided and avoided to the point where something small now seems and feels like an impossible mountain to climb. It often feels like there isn’t light at the end of the tunnel on the dark days, when I know there is, it’s just going to take some time. Despite this on the outside to those not in my circle my life is a whole picture perfect painting. I run my own business, have a nice car, a nice house, a happy relationship and the of best friends and I’m so grateful for all those things but the reality is much different - behind closed doors and hidden in the closest is the OCD monster. I’ve decided now, after 4 years it’s time to change. I’m breaking the cycle and starting anew. The irony that 4 is my safe number too and it’s been 4 years since things started to get dark. I’m ready to lose control and find myself again. Why am I writing this? Honestly, I really don’t know. I found this app recently and hope it can be a help for my ERP practices I’ve been practicing on my own and it’s actually the first time I’ve ever openly posted or spoken about my OCD to date. For years I have lived with a huge amount of shame and embarrassment, hiding my issues from everyone - even my closest friends have no idea how much it impacts my day to day. I’ve felt shame as I can’t control my own mind despite knowing the thoughts are irrational and the rituals only provide temporary relief but each day again and again the safety blanket of the rituals wraps me up and takes over. The only person who truly knows how much it affects me is my partner, who has been by my side through it all, he’s burnt out and has seen first hand the impact it has had on me, my life and my happiness. I’ve sheltered him as much as I can, but I’m sure those who are in relationships with OCD can relate to the burnout their partner feels day in day out. So that’s my story, I hope those going through similar can take comfort in this and know they aren’t alone in it all as my OCD has made me feel so incredibly lonely, isolated and empty for 4 years too long. It feels freeing to finally share my monster and I hope I can connect with others who are on a similar journey to me. The biggest thing I want to be able to do again? I want to be able to hug my loved ones without feeling triggered, I want to go outside and enjoy life without worry, I want to live again. This app has made me feel seen for the first time in a long time and reading your stories, your experiences and how you’re coping is comforting, encouraging and makes me feel less alone ❤️ thank you for reading x
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