This is really stressing me out,I’ve started ERP and it’s been really hard,but it feels like I’m enjoying confronting my thoughts and as though my gay side is coming out naturaly now?This is causing me so much anxiety

Not sure how to explain it,it’s like I get these really weird feelings towards certain boys and it causes me so much anxiety and panic as I really don’t want to be bi sexual or gay

I am not carrying out anymore compulsions,as I am trying my best not to,but it’s like they helped,before as soon as I got a thought/weird feeling about a boy I got a weird feeling about if carry out a compulsion and analyse it in my head and I wouldn’t like thinking about it,so it’s as if the compulsions kinda helped but now I don’t do them anymore as I’ve read they are bad,but it’s like it’s worse now?

@john777 Oook so, weird feelings are one thing and genuine attraction is another. Also different things: "what if I like that guy? I can picture myself making out with him and it's not disgusting me, that means I'm gay." VS "that guy is so cute... I just wanna be close to him. Maybe talk to him? But what if he doesn't like me? Ahh I just feel so good even simply looking at him." The first is just weird thoughts as you said. The second is real attraction/infatuation. So if you don't feel genuinely good and warm and happy looking at certain guys, then being gay doesn't sound very likely. But I think you should just tell yourself "so what if I kinda like guys? It's not like anything changes. Perhaps I'll never know if I'm straight or bi or gay. All I can do is live my life and act they way I want to because I control my actions." I don't know you, but if the thought of being with guys caused you enormous distress and no truly good feelings... well, that's not what being gay means, so.. On the other hand, i don't want anyone to get the impression that being gay or bi is bad. It just is.

@john777 Just read your second message. Yes, compulsions make it worse, avoid at all costs. Not carrying them out might make it worse at first but it should get better soon!

@? ilshid Thank you for your responses,is it best to keep on not carrying out compulsions and analysing it in my head?Should I just agree with the thoughts

@john777 You're welcome! Yes, try NOT to analyze it. It's an endless cycle. You cannot prove OR disprove to yourself that you're gay, so it's a futile endeavor and it's actually what keeps the "obsession" alive in the first place. The less you do compulsions, the weather the thought becomes and less scary it feels. That doesn't mean you accept it as "true". You just accept it for what it is: a random thought that you have too much attention (and therefore power!) to.

@? ilshid * weaker (but weather) ** Gave (not have)

@? ilshid This hopefully applies to girls too right?. I get the same feelings as him. I also don't do compulsions, I just obsess but slowly those are leaving too but the anxiety is still kinda there :(

@chamomil& Obviously also applies to girls ? (we're all human, after all. Gender is just a biological characteristic, like hair or eye color.)

@? ilshid Oh I'm kind of glad lol. I just don't get a lot of anxiety and I feel like I'm gay/bi only for that :(

@chamomil& Specifically when it comes to sexual orientation OCD, I think it's best to just tell yourself this: "So what if I'm bi? Nothing changes. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not and maybe I'll never know for sure" I hear that's a good approach to combat all sorts of OCD, but it's 100% true when it comes to sexuality. Like, even if you don't have OCD, it's still possible you'll never know for sure if you're gay, straight, or bi. I'm not trying to trigger you, just, accept the uncertainty. If the uncertainty doesn't bother you, OCD can't latch itself onto it. For example, I like men, but I'm not sure I definitely don't like women. If things has played out differently in my life, maybe I'd gotten to like a woman. Who knows? Nobody does, and I don't care. I'm fine with not knowing. So, even though I get OCD about other things, i never get it about my sexual orientation because I genuinely don't give a crap ?

What?so you’re saying I like it and I’m actually finding my through self which is being bi?You have just caused me hella anxiety

@john777 No. I'm saying that mastering fear, showing yourself you are capable of handling unpleasant emotions, is giving you a confidence boost. Just like if you mastered a new skill in another area of your life

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Oh sorry that I interpreted your answer wrongly,yes hopefully :))

@john777 Yo search up impulse reaction in hocd and urges I believe that’s what is happening here

@alex.123 Ok thanks I’ll have a look into this

@alex.123 I can’t see too much on this,any recommend articles or videos?