- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
And although I know I’m not a narcissist I worry people think the terms are interchangeable and I can’t handle people thinking I’m a narcissist cuz I’ve dealt with them and they’re awful people
- Date posted
- 5y
I never feel like that people are that bothered by my existence. I always cry over people leaving me but no one ever worries *I* would ever leave THEM. I feel insignificant compared to most people
- Date posted
- 5y
Basically I’m inferior I have no value and I have to work much much harder than everyone to be valuable or needed and even then it never feels I am
- Date posted
- 5y
Also (sorry guys for all of the comments) I have never told anyone that fear of abandonment makes me feel I would have to die to escape it because I don’t want to be seen as manipulative, useless and unable to function as an adult or a burden
- Date posted
- 5y
It seems to be an obsession. Like you fear to have this, kind of health ocd. Same thing for people who are afraid of schizophrenia. I have this too about all the personnality disorder ! I hope you will feel better soon, don’t forget that ocd is a judge liar ?
- Date posted
- 5y
No no this is not an obsession. I don’t feel anxiety or “what if” over it I just resonate with the symptoms. I’m not scared of having the illness itself cuz I do think it’s possible, I’m afraid of the illness making people leave me so I don’t want them to know that’s my problem
- Date posted
- 5y
As in I don’t get panic over the idea of it cuz I actually feel like it could explain why I feel so shitty about myself ALL the time but at the same time I fear that the label would drive people away
- Date posted
- 5y
No one can know for sure, you’d have to get a thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist to have a better idea. It is true, however, that many people experience similar obsessions and concerns like yours. I had many issues related to black and white thinking, anger, and the urge to disconnect from someone once they displeased. It’s like everyone I knew somehow would absorb all the other wrongs or ills others had done to me. It wasn’t until I had an argument with a partner that I had a moment of clarity. I was punishing this person because somewhere inside of me was that angry little kid who couldn’t himself. But I’m not that kid anymore, and they aren’t the people that hurt me. What good is being propagated into the universe by constantly holding on to that anger. I knew it came from the fear of being hurt. But that wall didn’t protect me. It kept me apart from others. What I’m saying is that not every psychological experience that has some relationship to a diagnostic criteria is, in fact, that particular thing. It could be, and you have to lean into that uncertainty. But it isn’t definitive.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t think it’s really wise to tell people to always lean into uncertainty when it comes to potential diagnoses of another condition that affects lives though? I’m not talking about this from an ocd obsession POV I mean I honestly wonder if I maybe have it because the symptoms are me
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there girl hang tight. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and the internet makes it seem like those who have someone in their life that has BPD need more support to deal with them... And I think that's absolutely ridiculous. BPD is a very serious mental illness (one of the highest suicide/ self harm rates, if not the highest) and those who have it are made to feel like they're the problem. Anger is a hallmark of BPD, but I too don't have explosive anger towards others. I find I do over-react to very small things internally, but then I get mad at myself for being bothered by things and that state of mind for me is extremely dangerous. If you are confused about your mental health diagnosis I would suggest going to see I psychiatrist. If you are diagnosed with BPD, you are not a monster. Take it from me, you will recover but first you need to ask for help and get the diagnosis. Also remember that who you disclose your diagnoses to is completely up to you! so even if you receive one, nobody but you (and your doctor) have to know. Just know that if anyone finds out and makes assumptions, that's discriminatory on their part and they aren't worth your time or effort. Stay strong and if you need someone to talk to please let me know!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou so much. I’m like you I don’t ever get explosive anger at people but I’m told I overreact and care too much all the time which is true. I can’t let things go but I let them ruin me not other people. I cannnnnnnnot handle abandonment I think all day everyday if I say or do the wrong thing my partner will leave me with no warning and I’ll have to die cuz I can’t do if
- Date posted
- 5y
There's a great video on BPD. I'll see if it's in YouTube
- Date posted
- 5y
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=2ahUKEwjnoKumvfLnAhVMop4KHVcPBj4QwqsBMAB6BAgJEAQ&usg=AOvVaw0VTJzWxrN8ZFOD4xbU2nov it's even got Marsha Linehan herself in it
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Katie Cheers
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
i’m a new user on this app, I downloaded it just cause I was curious, I don’t really know if I have OCD. Because in school all I learned about OCD is things being out of place and having it to be perfect almost like perfectionism, but I’ve just recently realized there’s a whole kind of different types of OCD, some things I struggle with daily is a fear of bad things happening or almost like an impending doom of when is it gonna happen? I’m always in my head thinking feels like I’m having multiple conversations at once. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like I’m having a conversation with myself. I have horrendous anxiety about everything and anything talking to people being around people. It just feels like it consumes my everyday life and I don’t know what to do. I can’t clearly remember anything from my childhood and some things I feel like I may be imagining I just don’t really feel like a person. I’m always thinking the worst in my relationship over analyzing and stressing out thinking of scenarios or thinking, my boyfriend‘s cheating on me. It almost all feels out of my control.
- Date posted
- 12w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
- Date posted
- 8w
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
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