How do you combat doubts about something so nuanced, like sexuality? For me, it’s not as clear as turned on by one over the other. I’ve only felt physical attraction toward one sex but can feel aroused by another when viewing sexual images/material. I do not doubt that this is common. I just want some help with fighting back against these thoughts.

It’s definitely hard. I wish I could be instantly turned on looking at a man and this could all be over

How are you now?

What do you mean

@ta It came out of nowhere one day. And no, I don’t.

@Immorethanocd And to be frank, I’ve never found a woman in person attractive. But, I can be aroused by their bodies in porn. This didn’t use to bother me, as I only ever wanted to be with men in real life. However, for some reason, in the context of porn I got more aroused by women than men. But, in real life I only ever get jealous by very attractive women and never look at their bodies. It’s weird

@ta I saw a therapist and they told me: a gay person doesn’t normally obsess about being gay. Why would we fear it?

@ta I don’t want to give you reassure because I won’t always be here to tell you no. Do you have a therapist? I promise you that all of this obsessing is certainly ocd

@ta Have you read up on ERP?

@ta I do too? it’s hard not to. But reassurance feels good for like 2 minutes and then you’re back. I could talk online all day asking you to tell me I’m not gay. But I would be back in 15 minutes to ask again.

@Immorethanocd Got it. You say that you never found a woman attractive in person, but in porn you do, and possibly more than men in porn... I think that says more about the nature of porn than it does you and your sexual orientation... Porn is specifically made to be sexual, and arousing, and usually (due to the misconception that mostly straight men watch porn, which isn't true these days) the focus of that sexualisation is going to be on the women. So I would argue that when u get aroused by the the women in porn, I would argue that that is kinda what the porn was specifically made to do, to sexualise the female body as as it can. Also I think the body often just reacts to 'sexual' and not neccarily knows the specifics of what it's looking at. So these two things together (your body just reacting to sexual things as bodies do + porn being very focused on female sexualisation) I guess it makes sense that that could confuse things and make you aroused to by looking at women in porn when you wouldn't normally. Hell they could probably hypersexualise two gingerbread people in a porno, and your body would react a bit, doesn't mean you got a thing for baked goods, lol. That's just what porn does lol

@seemeinacrown Lol I’m dying over the gingerbread comment? thank you!