Break up urges HELP PLEASE Sometimes I look at pictures of my boyfriend and I feel this pit in my stomach and anxiety and I think to myself “just break it off” and I feel relieved and then I freak out cause I must be lying to myself about loving him even though yesterday I as crying and heartbroken about him going abroad next year......if anyone else has experienced this please help!!!!

I have had this bad throughout my 27 year marriage. alwsays questioning and doubting. envious of others for what looked like better relationships. but...now its stopped. whst I started to focus on was how imperfect all of life is and people - including me - are. instead of picking out all the flaws in my spouse I started to see flaws in every human being even when someone appears perfect. I started to value the time we have grown together and the suffering we endured but supported each other. as we've grown older this has become easier. it sucks big time when u srecexperiencing it. so many times I was so angry at my spouse for not being what I needed - or thought i needed. now i am so grateful i didnt divorce. shes exactly what i need in my life. imperfect is just fine by me.

I also experience difficult thoughts about being in a relationship. My bf really is amazing about it. It was very hard for me but I decided to tell him everything really everything. I thought that maybe it would be to much for him but the opposite was true. Now he understands my reactions and worries better. But important is that you have to experience 'trust'. When my bf has to go away for a week I get nervous already. But everytime we talk about it. It's stressful but every time I see that it's not that hard. Step by step i get more trust. So this is how I try to make it easier. I know it's not that easy but I believe it will help. I hope you feel better about it soon!!

I get like this 1 minute I know. I want to be with her the next I could be driving along and just get a twist in the gut and think u don't want to be with her just end it ur lying to urself etc etc the more attention I pay that thought and try and stop it the worse it gets and I feel even worse the anxiety get almost unbearable where I get the urge to just end it I even told myself. I was going to. End. It today on my way home from work I got distracted by a fone call got home walked in u know the first thing I did.... I gave her a kiss and hug told her I loved her and asked if she had a good day..... Then 5 mins later I remembered I was meant to break up in my opinion rocd is 1 of the worst its plays with emotions send terrible thoughts and gives mixed feelings that make u unsure but I'm starting to. Realise no. Matte the situation we will never be sure just have to go. With it and if we make a mistake along the way so be it