How do you guys do ERP for harm OCD? Especially the jumping off building thought? I am afraid by deliberately bring the thought on I will somehow gradually agree with, listen to, and act on the thought. Why is sometimes the thought not that strong and I can shift my mind to something else? But sometimes it feels like I am facing a real danger or I can act on it very soon

I know you are trying to help. Sorry. I am just so confused and scared right now.

You should probably do imaginal exposure. Write out your most feared situation, and keep listening to it or reading it until your anxiety lessens. Don’t do any reassurance.

And sorry, I was only trying to help you.

The obsession is that you're scared you may jump off the building, correct?

Serena standing on a balcony would be no more dangerous than anybody else standing on a balcony. OCD makes you no more likely to act on the thoughts than anybody else

It’s the anxiety that makes the thoughts seem real and terrifying, but they are not, and you are in no real danger of jumping off a balcony if you don’t wish to jump off the balcony

Just think of the end in mind. When you are thinking of jumping off the building, you should remind yourself that if you do that you would be ending your life. And I’m sure you do not want to die or have death occur, so just remind yourself that if you decide to act on that thought, there is no turning back. And with that, your brain should not be too keen in lingering on that harmful thought.

Of course I don’t. But what you said about the end makes me even more scared. My mind is keeping saying what if listen to it, what if I act on that, what if I snap? I guess harm OCD thoughts are actually similar. We are not actually scared of the thoughts. We are scared of what if we act on them. It’s so hard.

Actually, it seems all that you said is a mental compulsion. :(

If you’re scared then you are not going to do it. If you wanted to do it you wouldn’t be scared. But if think you’ll snap then you should call someone to hold you back when you feel like that.

What compulsions usually follow that thought?

Like I am so scared now, I can’t even think of a mental compulsion that can quiet my fear.

@1992 yes that’s my obsession. But now it feels so real and I am afraid cuz I will have to go to work tomorrow.

It sounds like your anxiety is really high right now. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's okay for your anxiety to be high, try not to fight it. I know it sucks. What's going through your mind right right? You can type out everything if it helps.

Right now* sorry for the grammatical error.

I am worrying about tomorrow. I don’t know whether I can do it. It’s like I am afraid that I may listen to my thought and do something dangerous (yup I don’t want to). I have suicidal obsessions but now I really don’t know and I can’t risk the what if. Like what if I am really done with all this and decide to end my life? I used to have occasional suicidal obsessions but over time it got better. Now working on a high building and in a relapse being afraid of not being able to work (concentration problem) seem to trigger each other and make me totally scared and confused.

Yep what@katiekat said. Once the imaginal exposures get easier you can work your way up to harder ones such as standing near balconies. Eventually, you can work your way up to standing on balconies or high places as an exposure. It sounds like working your way up is definitely the best idea for you now though considering your very high anxiety levels

But standing on the balcony can be dangerous