- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
i developed this theme as my first OCD theme. It was only a few months ago that I first developed symptoms and I had NO idea it was OCD. I 100% was convinced my fear was going to come true, despite growing up with a supportive family and no genetic past with the illness. I thought about it 24/7 and GOOGLED symptoms which was definitely the worst thing to have done. It wasnt until I also developed harm ocd that I reached out and found out I was experiencing OCD, and my fear of going crazy was just a fear. I still find myself doing mental checks, which I need to work out of, but I’ve gotten to a place where I feel like I can actually live my life with the help of medicine, therapy, self care, and gratitude. Anyone reading this, I know how hard this theme can be, especially without the knowledge that it is just OCD. But you can get better! Wishing the best ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s fantastic! I agree with you while-heartedly. One of the more confusing experiences can be manifesting symptoms that you read online. Anxiety/OCD is a potent force and can really trick your mind.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is a past theme for me and one that occasionally will rear its head from time to time. What probably helped me the most was taking a job where I am in contact with people with severe persistent mental health issues on a regular basis. This was a great exposure for me. Not only did I have to face the fear but it also had the secondary effect of showing me that conditions that cause psychosis are also very treatable for most individuals.
- Date posted
- 5y
You go. ? I’ve actually thought about taking a job where I work with people with mental health issues as a form of ERP. Like maybe a volunteer gig or something. That’s how bad this theme was for me until very recently lol.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for this post! It has been one of my main themes for about 3 years. The last month has been horrible. I am at a school event for my son watching other parents interact, jealous that they seem so normal. I put on a smile and talk but I’m at war with my intrusive thoughts. I can’t even say it for fear it will be true. I start seeing a therapist on Tuesday. Wish me luck!
- Date posted
- 5y
You’re a warrior! Don’t forget how tough you are. You’ve already battled the intrusive thoughts, it’ll be good practice when you start ERP therapy
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s fantastic, you’re going to do great!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for this! I’ve had this theme since mid-2019, and yeah it doesn’t get nearly enough coverage in the literature. For anyone else out there, OCD Stories recently did an episode on this theme that was massively helpful for me and very relatable. Would recommend :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you know the episode number?
- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett Thank you!
- Date posted
- 5y
my main theme after suffering with harm OCD!! it is a horrific theme and i am exhausted from the constant thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
Something that helps me is to just acknowledge that the thought is there and accept that it might mean my worst fear is coming true. Like many of you, my OCD is incredibly creative. So there’s really no limit to the types of thoughts it’ll conjure for me. What’s important is how you respond to them. Learning to reduce or eliminate compulsions is one of the most effective ways of reducing OCD’s impact in your life.
- Date posted
- 5y
i feel like i cant take this theme much longer. For me, my intrusive thoughts are like the delusional thoughts a schizophrenic patient would have.then i try so hard to make sure i dont believe the thought and while i know they aren't true, i can never feel certain that i dont believe them....i go in circles and its so awful. does anyone else experience this? i dont know what to do anymore.
- Date posted
- 5y
Definitely! Do the exact same thing, it’s a very common obsession in OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
I also want to chime in and let you know that I used to have this theme with my thoughts. I did get better. Really, truly, try to do the exposures and practice non-avoidance and avoiding compulsions to lessen your anxiety surrounding the thoughts. Eventually your brain will realize that it doesn’t need to give you the distress signal anymore because you’re not responding to it
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sunrise22 thank you. its seriously so awful
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sunrise22 you did the same thing with the delusional intrusive thoughts? did you question if you beleive them and feel unsure? like you know they are not real but if you believe them then you are delusional. ...its so awful
- Date posted
- 5y
@rg17 Yes. This experience is super common. We have a Snapchat group with a few of us with the same theme if you’d like to join!
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett yes that would be great
- Date posted
- 5y
@rg17 Ok, just need your Snap!
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett rachg1787
- Date posted
- 1y
@rg17 Oh my gosh you sound exactly like me. I know EXACTLY what you mean. When you ask yourself “do I really believe this” you can never give a satisfying “No” answer, because your body is reacting as if the thoughts are real, and they just FEEL real. I know this comment is very old but here is a link to my most recent post where I talk about my “delusional” intrusive thoughts. Please let me know if you ever beat this horrible theme. Please reply when you can.
- Date posted
- 1y
@mrselfdestruct1994 Hi there! I did overcome it! It was admittedly the most distressing thing I have been through. I realized that by asking myself if I believe the thoughts I was checking. Once I stopped doing that, the obsessions went away quickly. Hard to do, but I literally do not care about these thoughts anymore. If I have them at all anymore, I don't even notice
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! I just posted about feeling just like this!
- Date posted
- 5y
how did you overcome it? im suffering so horrible
- Date posted
- 5y
Well, it’s something I still have to manage. There are times where it’s more or less present. And I might go through phases where I don’t deal with it much. Treatment and support are the best options. If you’re able to connect with a specialist, they can help give you the tools to do it!
- Date posted
- 1y
@Carl Cornett Hey Carl, I am dealing with the same theme extremely bad right now, these “delusional” intrusive thoughts have taken over my life. I know this comment thread is very old but please reply when you can. Did you ever beat this?
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you, its just so hard.
- Date posted
- 5y
So I do scripting most mornings. I’ll write things out based on what sort of intrusive thoughts I’ve been experiencing more often. Sometimes I notice certain repetitive content, other times it’s kind of all over the place. I, and others, also have had the intrusive “delusions” you speak of. It’s my primary obsessional content now and has been, mostly, for the last two years. You’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett its so maddening, the thoughts get SO bizarre and they feel so weird ( i dont even know if that makes sense) i just want to feel certain i know they are not true, if i could do that, i would feel better.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 21w
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
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