Hey everyone. I’m in treatment now but I’m not sure how to tell my therapist about my groinal responses. I’m scared because I’m the only person at the facility with POCD and I’m afraid that she won’t know what I’m talking about. That’s probably not true because she specializes in OCD treatment, but I can’t shake the fear that she will think something is seriously wrong with me. Has anyone told their therapists about their groinal responses? What tips/encouragement would you have for me?

Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

My name is Abbey and I’m a 14 year old girl struggling with OCD, I don’t like to say my OCD is severe but it’s the truth. I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I’m still being treated for it kinda via medication by my doctor. The reason I’m nervous about starting my therapy journey is I’m worried the therapist won’t understand what im saying or take it the wrong way and think I’m a bad person even though I know I’m a good hearted person. If you have any tips to overcome my fear of therapy please share! ✌️🧡