I’m trying so hard to not feel anxious about the coronavirus but I feel like everyone around me is panicking. They’re canceling all of the sports at my school and they just cancelled prom and there’s talk about closing school for two weeks. I’m trying not to freak out but how can I not when I’m surrounded by panic??

I'm doing a lot better with my OCD episode but I'm finding it hard to cope with what's happening in my country. It's hard because it is scary and people keep telling me I should be afraid. That everything is over and it's the apocalypse. I don't think it's productive to be gripped with terror but I don't know how to calm down.

I am so incredibly tired of living life in fear. I’m in constant fear that I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke. I’m hyper aware of every sensation in my body and I’m in constant fight or flight. I’m exhausted and I just want to be normal. I received a Covid vaccine Saturday because im afraid of getting Covid but now I’m worried about the vaccine making me sick. I know it won’t I’ve had them before but my mind is just in obsessive mode. I want a good nights rest but now I’m crying and scared because I don’t feel good. I’m just so sick of life being so hard. I want to enjoy it. But then I spiral and I’m crying because I’m worried about being alone in life. Thankfully I have my mom now but I worry about the future. I’ve tried erp twice here and just can’t feel like it’s helping. I’m working with a therapist now and we are doing DBT plus starting erp. I’m nervous it won’t work again. I’m doomed to feel this way the rest of my life. It’s been almost 2 years of this constant fear, worry, and spiral. And when it’s not the health anxiety it’s awful intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a monster.

rant. covid statistics CW my partner went out to eat at a small restaurant for a friend’s birthday even tho we’ve talked about covid consciousness before and he agreed to mask again at the grocery store and stuff and i wanted to tell him that the new statistic was 1 in 19 people have covid in texas rn but i felt like it was a compulsion so i didn’t and i just told him im scared and that i would have gone to the dinner but masked and gotten my food to go if it were me… now i feel like i can’t go see him like i normally would on Monday cause it would be too soon if he was exposed. there were definitely at least 20 people in that restaurant. he tells me he understands how important it is to me but… and i opened instagram literally for a minute and immediately saw the most upsetting video compilation of people on tiktok posting about getting covid like it was a trend and how “embarrassing” it was and i just. UGH !!! WEAR A MASK THEN