3 years and im still obsessing over the fact 'i could be transgender' . exposures are ineffective , what should i do? i want to stop this overthinking circle. how do i prove myself im a girl not a boy? am i even a girl?

You can't prove anything to yourself. It's seeking final proof about your obsession which keeps your cycle of overthinking going. The time to find out about your gender is NOT while you have OCD about it. You need to practice ERP by not engaging with the thoughts about your gender whatsoever, not arguing against or agreeing with the thoughts, just treating them as if they're an annoying bully yelling things at you who is trying to get to you. It doesn't matter if you're transgender or not when the worry about it is destroying your life. Your life is too precious to waste it like that. The more you treat your OCD by refusing to engage with it and breaking the cycle, the more clear the true answer will become over time. Seeking answers, analysing, researching and asking for input, opinions and reassurance will only make your OCD worse. Even if you get to points of feeling like you have an answer, you will still get instrusive thoughts, memories, moments and questions which start the cycle of doubt all over again. What you really need to work on is not *needing* an answer. Even if that means saying to your brain that you don't need an answer *right now*. The more ways you can find to refuse to do the OCD thoughts and compulsions, the more your OCD will go away and that's when the clear thinking starts to come. It's key to also not obsess about the realisations that you get during recovery from OCD, because they will just suck you back in. You don't need to know the answer and you're never going to get a 100% answer about it. Ever. Under no circumstances. You can't obsess your way to an answer. You can't research your way to it. You can't get a final conclusion from analysing your memories or feelings or actions. Life does not come with any 100% answers. You will never, ever get one. You NEED to become okay with that. The way to become okay with that is by using ERP, ACT and meditation to cut off the OCD cycle. The best hope for your future needs to be one where you do not care or need to know for sure about whether you are trans. There IS no future where you or anyone else in the world is 100% sure about their gender identity. Every single person on the planet will be able to find evidence to cause them doubt if they obsessively look for it, either in their own head or by research. The only difference between you and them is that they don't care enough to spend all their time thinking about it. You don't spend all your time thinking about it because it's secretly true, you spend all your time thinking about it because you have OCD. Treat your OCD.

What have you been doing as response prevention? The most common reasons exposures fail is because we follow them up with compulsions instead if response prevention