- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Remember that intrusive thoughts are not a choice and happen to you. I know it’s really hard to remember this but they’re no more important if they pop up during intimacy or during cooking dinner! During intimacy, try practicing mindfulness. Focus on your 5 senses, especially touch. Kimberley Quinlan has some really good episodes on this topic on her podcast Your Anxiety Toolkit, check it out! Sending lots of good vibes to you ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm trying really hard to keep my OCD out of my bedroom. My OCD has been a lot worse for the past 6 months and being intimate can be scary. For me, I get anxious thinking about it because I get scared that I'll have an intrusive thought (then the rumination cycle begins on why I'd be scared of sex with my wife if 1 3 years). But once I'm in the situation I try to be present and if an intrusive thought comes up, I breathe acknowledge accept and move on. Sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's not.
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe try to think about the thoughts while not having sex or masturbating and become a little more comfortable with the presence of the thoughts. Once you become a little more comfortable with them, try out some things and if the thoughts come up just sit with anxiety. You can slowly progress it but I can assure you the more you sit with anxiety and let it be while doing your thing the better it becomes
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you all!! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm not sure but I just came here to day I relate. Masturbation has become a difficult thing to do. Constantly interrupted with thoughts and feel anxious before doing it.
- Date posted
- 5y
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Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
- Harm OCD
- POCD
- Students with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Date posted
- 23w
+18 only!! TW for sexual content!! (This might be TMI, but I need advice) So, this is kinda embarrassing, but I haven't been able to self-pleasure without feeling shame or guilt. It's so bad that I've just stopped altogether, but I don't want to avoid it. It was something I enjoyed and was comfortable with, and now, because of OCD, it just makes me feel... gross. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do, but my mind just tries to convince me that it's wrong. Had anyone else dealt with this? It's not a huge issue, but I'm tired of unnecessary shame. :(
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
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