- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Remember that intrusive thoughts are not a choice and happen to you. I know it’s really hard to remember this but they’re no more important if they pop up during intimacy or during cooking dinner! During intimacy, try practicing mindfulness. Focus on your 5 senses, especially touch. Kimberley Quinlan has some really good episodes on this topic on her podcast Your Anxiety Toolkit, check it out! Sending lots of good vibes to you ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm trying really hard to keep my OCD out of my bedroom. My OCD has been a lot worse for the past 6 months and being intimate can be scary. For me, I get anxious thinking about it because I get scared that I'll have an intrusive thought (then the rumination cycle begins on why I'd be scared of sex with my wife if 1 3 years). But once I'm in the situation I try to be present and if an intrusive thought comes up, I breathe acknowledge accept and move on. Sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's not.
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe try to think about the thoughts while not having sex or masturbating and become a little more comfortable with the presence of the thoughts. Once you become a little more comfortable with them, try out some things and if the thoughts come up just sit with anxiety. You can slowly progress it but I can assure you the more you sit with anxiety and let it be while doing your thing the better it becomes
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you all!! ?
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- 5y
I'm not sure but I just came here to day I relate. Masturbation has become a difficult thing to do. Constantly interrupted with thoughts and feel anxious before doing it.
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- 5y
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 18w
So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.
- Date posted
- 16w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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