Hello Everyone, So I have been struggling with severe anxiety in regards to my relationship for months now....it started with intrusive thoughts about whether or not I found him attractive and then his personality....however now I find myself feeling so numb to him and unable to see anything but negative things which brings me to wonder if I’m forcing my relationship even though he is the best guy I have ever known.....I know I routinely struggle with giving into compulsions however it feels so real right now and in the last few days I’ve freaked out and almost ended things three times......I really want to stay with my partner but I’m scared I shouldn’t even though I want to so bad......I love him and I don’t know how I let myself get to this point....it is mostly all I think about and I just want to be happy......I really need some advice as to whether or not this is relationship anxiety or not.....

Relationship OCD

savvysav

Date posted: 5y

I have this same thing! Honestly what helped me what to just realize it was my anxiety and to not put so much meaning to these thought. I tell myself I will reevaluate how I feel about him in a month. Many times just doing this within days I find myself really liking him again. I find exercise helps a lot with my anxiety and different thoughts.

hopeful4healing

Date posted: 5y

Thank you!!! It’s just so hard bc like I said sometimes I feel like I’ve ruined this to the point of “I’ll never be satisfied I should just leave already” even though he’s the most amazing guy I know!!!!

savvysav

Date posted: 5y

@hopeful4healing That is how I feel honestly! The thing I have realized that has helped me is I have left amazing relationships in the past because of this same thing. I am so obsessed with them when we start to date then after a while I become bored and then I freak myself out and always question if they aren’t the one, ect ect. Then I want to move on to someone new because I feel excited around them so I feel like they are the one but then I have to realize if I moved on, the same thing would happen with that person. My therapist said I don’t produce enough dopamine and also I had OCD so I have obsessions to think of he is the one and obsessions to analyze if I should look else where ect. If I do act upon my obsessions and text a new boy I get a rush of adrenaline from the excitement. Eventually the excitement wears off and it’s a never ending cycle. Therefore I am staying with the man I have because he is the most amazing man to me and even if the feelings aren’t there all the time that is fine and normal.

hopeful4healing

Date posted: 5y

@savvysav I can’t tell you how much your response has given me peace!!! Thank you so much!!!!!

Ania85

Date posted: 5y

Savvy is right. These thoughts could be anxiety, or they could be *real* thoughts. You don't know. Nobody does. Simply accept the thoughts and move back to the present moment. Even "healthy" folks have negative thoughts like OCD folks. Nobody knows if they're in the "right" relationship, if they're gonna be together forever, if they're going to find their partner attractive all the time. It's all unknown. The more you accept that, the more clarity you will have. Good luck! I'm right there with you.

hopeful4healing

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for the support! I appreciate it so muchn

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