Urgent. I need tremendous help. Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry for the depressing post. My mom and I are breaking up... I hurt her so so much and I feel great remorse. Thanks to my ocd. I kept telling her every thought on my mind and drove her too far. I can’t think before I speak. I can’t think before I act. Every random thought (example compare my relationships with her to my sister’s relationship with my mom, every little ouchie in my body, and always tell her she’s too loud. Any advice would be greatly appreciated... currently on my bed crying. I love my mom. She is (or was) my advocate. I really want to change, I do. When I put my mind to it, I can! I am at wits end... I’m nice and sweet to EVERYONE else but I’m snotty 90% of the time to her! I even told her to shut up during her yelling at me. How am I going to survive this quarantine while living in the same house 24/7???

Please help me. I have not used this app in months, but I am actually lost. 1.) I have been BEGGING to go back to therapy for my OCD for months. (Around five to six months now) My mom always tells me that she’s doing the best she can or genuinely gets annoyed (it’s like she gets mad when I try to bring it up) the thing is I would understand if she didn’t have the money for me to go back to therapy, but she constant buys food that is the worth of the bill she needs to pay to let me go back into therapy. So basically, she owes my therapist 100 dollars. It’s been six months. She makes a lot of money. She just doesn’t think my OCD is important. 2.) Everything in my life is triggering. It’s to the point where the thought of not doing a compulsion, makes me break down. I try erp, but I don’t think I can without a therapist. I’ve used this app to help me with erp. I need professional help. I feel as if I won’t get help for months ahead. 3.) I am really isolated, and I don’t have a way to socially have contact with irl people. I have a boyfriend and he is pretty much the only person I see outside of family. I’ve been homeschooled for years, so I’ve lost touch with the people I was friends with in school. If I do want to see or do anything (even going to the store for something and sometimes seeing my bf I have to DEEP clean the whole house) the isolation has caused me to not even be able to look at my family in the eyes. I feel so crippled and stuck. What should I do? I’m thinking about telling my mom I need to go to hospital for a long stay. The last time I did that the bill was 12,000, and it was a very traumatic stay, but I am so mentally ill from my OCD. I feel like every option I have is something I’ve tried. Merry Christmas btw if you actually read this. Also you don’t have to pity me or reassure me. If you’d like to comment, please give me advice on how to approach this situation.

I really need help. This isn’t ocd related but I don’t know what to do and I have no one to go to. I think my mom is verbally abusive and I don’t know if I’m overthinking because I’m told all the time I overthink things but I can’t calm down. My mom has treated me horrible my whole life she doesn’t pay attention when I tell her things I’m excited about, she dismisses my feelings or when I’m upset and makes me feel like I’m a problem or that I don’t matter and that her problems are always worse than mine. She has threatened to hit me many times throughout my life but never has except for once when I was little I had a horrible headache and was crying from the pain in my room and we had company and she came in and hit me and told me to shut up that I’m worrying the company. She’s called me so many horrible names and just did today. We were playing cards and listening to music with my grandma and when I made a music suggestion she had a strong opinion about a singer that she has also listened to and when I got irritated about it she stopped playing and said I was a “little bitc*” said “another holiday ruined” and made a comment about my friends at work and that I treat them some way is why I lost them or whatever and she’s always called me much worse. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared and I want to escape so badly but I can’t I have no where to go. I’m 23 and live with my mom and grandma. I can’t afford to move out and if I did I would have to live in my car. I’m so scared and upset. I hate myself. I wish I could just give up and I’m scared if I do that than it’s going to get much worse for me but at this point I don’t care. I have no one who loves me or cares about me and I definitely don’t have my mom because if it were any one else she would be so kind to them and treat them so nice if they were going through a hard time because I’ve heard her do that for many people but in real life when no one is listening and I tell her what is going on and why I’m upset she yells and screams at me saying I’m a ungrateful bitc* and that there’s nothing I could possibly be stressed about and many other things. I can’t do this anymore. I wish I could be free

So my mom wasn't/isn't the best mom in the world and she hevaly traumatized me. My parents are devorsed and I go to my mom's house every other weekend, now I haven't been diagnosed with ocd yet (I have a diagnosis app on the 11th) so I don't have any meds for it, anyway, I keep having these thoughts of harming my mother in extream ways, and I made the decision that I can't go to her house until we figure out what's going on with me for her own safety, I can't get any of these thoughts to go away and ik really scared