Urgent. I need tremendous help. Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry for the depressing post. My mom and I are breaking up... I hurt her so so much and I feel great remorse. Thanks to my ocd. I kept telling her every thought on my mind and drove her too far. I can’t think before I speak. I can’t think before I act. Every random thought (example compare my relationships with her to my sister’s relationship with my mom, every little ouchie in my body, and always tell her she’s too loud. Any advice would be greatly appreciated... currently on my bed crying. I love my mom. She is (or was) my advocate. I really want to change, I do. When I put my mind to it, I can! I am at wits end... I’m nice and sweet to EVERYONE else but I’m snotty 90% of the time to her! I even told her to shut up during her yelling at me. How am I going to survive this quarantine while living in the same house 24/7???

Okay so my parents don't really handle my ocd that well. For starters my contamination is getting worse (I'm 14) and keep exisivly washing my hands, or using toilet roll which is unfortunately really common. Now they are getting angry at me for using too much toilet roll... What do I do? There saying I'm ruining there lifes because of my ocd. I'm making there lifes miserable. And they don't COMMUNICATE or sit down with me and look me in the eyes and try sort it out WITH ME. they just go "STOP USING SO, MUCH TOILET ROLL" "you've broke another headset" "WE ARE ALLOWED TO BE PISSED AT YOU" and I'm getting self harm urges because there making me out to be such a bad person. Which obviously doesn't mix well with ocd.

Long vent: First off, please don’t judge and meet this story with kindness. You never know what people are suffering through. My moms the kind of person who won’t say anything if she’s suffering. She usually suffers in silence because she’s afraid people will see her struggles and meet her with judgement like past people have in her life unfortunately. Although I’m not a psychologist nor should I be diagnosing, I do think my mom suffers from OCD. She is overweight, and she’s been struggling a lot with eating. As of late it’s gotten to the point where people in my family are questioning if she’s at the point or no return and it’s been terrifying me. I already feel responsible for this for some reason, like I’m a horrible daughter because I don’t do enough for her even though I do try to. I love her so, so much, she’s my best friend and nothing can happen to her under my watch. I wish I could keep her in a bubble so she lives forever with me, but I know that’s not true. The past two years, she’s had these massive wounds on her legs from an accident on a truck. The wounds have gotten so large and painful, and they haven’t healed after this many years. I had to literally force her to go to urgent care last year because she was too embarrassed to talk about or show anyone these wounds. They gave her advice, said I was right in making her go, and that the wounds aren’t healing most likely because of circulatory issues and the blood from her heart not getting to her legs is stopping the healing process. They showed her how to properly clean the wounds and told her elevate her legs. We did that, but they still haven’t healed but she refused to see a doctor once again due to embarrassment, or she’d put off doctors visits because she couldn’t afford to go or her job would interfere with the timing. Fast forward to today, we had a party for Father’s Day at my aunts house and she’s been keeping the wounds bandaged and using all these sprays and buying adhesives and medicine from Amazon. She has spent so much money on this medical stuff it’s literally done nothing. She can barely walk now, and sitting in a chair at the party today, was like “torture” she said. The dogs at the party were wet, and their tails whipped the back of her legs when they’d wag and I guess she was secretly trying not to cry. I’ve been hearing her whimper quietly from pain for a while and I feel so fucking guilty, like I haven’t done enough for her. I’m trying to help her fix her eating habits, and eat clean with her, but I feel guilty for the times we’d get junk food. She’s a teacher, and she usually goes a full day without eating and it aggravates me so so bad. My first thing when she gets home is asking if we can go out and get food because I just want her to take care of herself and eat something. I know junk is absolutely not the answer here, but when it’s quick and convenient I’d rather my mom eat junk than eat nothing. Yes, I know grocery shopping is the answer and we recently started doing that again. The thing is, she and I hate going in public due to OCD. I feel so bad, because now I’m responsible for this it feels like. She’s been overweight the majority of the time my brother and I have been alive. She confessed to me last year that before the divorce with my dad, she purposely gained weight so that my dad would never touch her again. He cheated on her, and she never wanted him to touch her again, and he was physically and emotionally abusive to her. So, she divorced my dad and took us with her and moved north to be with the rest of my family. I still feel like I contributed to it though, and that I’m a horrible daughter. I never meant to contribute to any of this. I would never fucking to that to this woman I love this much. My brother and aunt said that I enable her and that I’m at fault for a lot of this. My brother I believe also has OCD himself, said I enable this and am responsible for this because I’m not hard enough on my mom. If this is true then I feel fucking horrible. I already regret not doing enough hence why I’m trying to change it now. My aunt says my moms getting to the point of no return. I’m taking her to the emergency room now. I’m trying not to cry and I wish she didn’t feel like she has to keep all these problems to herself. I’m scared to talk to my brother later because he’s going to scold me and yell at me. I don’t know what to do

I have been diagnosed with OCD by a therapist on NOCD for about 4 years now. I went through therapy here and I was officially diagnosed. My mom knows about the diagnosis because I’ve pretty much told her all my struggles and unfortunately confessed a lot of what I was dealing with in the past. She was not understanding at first and told me there was no way I could have OCD that I don’t “clean and organize” like people she has worked with before or been around. I told her that I wanted to go through therapy at the time and she said no and really said some mean and hateful things. Eventually though she did start becoming understanding but not in the way you would think. My mom isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. So talking to her about everything was really hard to go through. Well getting into what’s bothering me….in the past I have thought maybe there was a possibility that I could have autism. I’ve seen people on TikTok talk about it and what they have experienced and it was similar to me but I pushed it aside and never talked about it with anyone. I do struggle with “misophonia” and my mom is also aware of that even though she doesn’t believe in it either and that I’m just “misdiagnosing” myself. Well today she randomly says “There’s a video I watched earlier that I think you should see. I think you have autism. I don’t think you have OCD. You were misdiagnosed and it’s your trauma that is making you think you have OCD.” And it really hit me the wrong way and was quite triggering. The things that I have put in my head and all the hate towards myself before I was diagnosed came back because I was starting to second guess myself. I told her you can have OCD and autism at the same time. There’s no way for me to know unless I’m diagnosed and she said you don’t need to be diagnosed you kind of just know or something like that. But it really put it in my head that I’m making the OCD symptoms up and what if I really was diagnosed and it confirms that I’m a “bad” person. Sometimes I wish I never told my mom anything. She has never really shown care or understanding towards how I have been feeling for years. Who knows, maybe I do have autism but I know for a fact I have OCD. I just hate she put it in my head that theres a possibility I’m an imposter and I’m really what my mind tells me I am. If anyone relates to this please reach out. I’m not really asking for reassurance I just don’t know if I should listen to my mom. Yes I’m an adult. I’m 26 and still live at home. Now that she thinks I have autism, is she going to use it against me too? This sucks so much 💔