- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
We got this! I just feel horrible. But I’m glad I’m not alone ❤️
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- 5y
Also I looovvveee the UK so much!
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- 5y
Awwww? it’s not all that honestly
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- 5y
I relate in the sense that my biggest advocate was my best friend of 10 years and bc of ocd and bpd I drove her away.. she was like a big sister to me and rly the only family I felt I had left sometimes... I wish you the best.
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- 5y
I relate. I love my mum (sorry british hahahah) but I find I get most angry at her. She doesn’t deserve it. I also question my morals and love a lot so it doesn’t help. I guess we spend so much time anxious, that we become irritated so easily. And we take it out on those closest to us. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Use how you’re feeling now as maybe a way to be more conscious. I’ll do it too! We can change.
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- 5y
I can relate so much to this post that it’s crazy. Growing up I was never a good child. I was spoiled, rude, and entitled. Everybody makes mistakes, we all say and do dumb shit when we’re mad and then regret it later. I would apologize to your mom if I were in your shoes, and then forgive myself. You can’t change if you’re constantly beating yourself up. If you’re mom is being too loud, just leave the room or plug in some earphones (that’s what I do). If you want to say something, think of what could happen if you do. You know what I realized a while ago? Is that my siblings feel the same way I do (annoyed at stuff our parents do), but the difference is that they don’t react. Even though something is annoying the hell out of you, don’t react (I know that’s hard, trust me). My mom is naturally loud, so is my dad, no matter what I say and do is not gonna change that. So just let it be. If it can’t be changed by words the first or second time, then let it be. If you got more questions about what I’m doing to change then just feel free to ask :)
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- 5y
Thank you so much! I have apologized deeply to my mom, so the next step is forgiving myself. Do you have any ideas on how to let myself forgive me? It’s really hard with ocd :)
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- 5y
Let yourself know that you are who you are and that there are things in life that are going to trigger your anger or your sadness and that it’s okay. It’s okay that I got angry over this, but it’s not okay how I acted. Forgive yourself. You’re human, we all make mistakes over and over. Instead of hating yourself, learn from them and move on. There’s something that I’m starting to live by and it’s : “whatever happened, happened.” Which means that no matter what you try to do and say, you will never be able to change the past. So instead stop obsessing over what you DID and start thinking of what you will DO the next time something triggers you. And don’t expect to succeed the first time, or the second time, or the third time.
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- 5y
@sillybilly Thank you, I really appreciate your advice! :)
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- 5y
@Lou_lourocks Ye anytime
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- 5y
My favorite “ocd” song is Human by Rag’n’Bone Man... it says how we are human and always make mistakes.
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- 5y
I love that song! I was just listening to it the other day! It hits different lol
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
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- 13w
Just a little side note: I know this post has been made MANY times by me. However, I had a therapist respond to my post today saying that I need to reach out to my therapist on this because the context was not clear. This made me more stressed and ruminate more. It's not the therapist fault; but not I wonder if I'm really the monster. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow) but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD?
- Date posted
- 9w
TW- POCD people only please. Am I a criminal hiding behind a diagnosis? I woke up in the middle of the night breathing and I was having groinals because she laying across me. My mind told me I had already hurt her so might as well do something else. I then was like well I have nothing to lose and I had to think of what to do. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards her groin area to cause a feeling. Well I did that and my elbow touched her groin and caused an unwanted feeling. I then immediately asked my child to move. After that, I went back to sleep but I believe in a state of shock as to what happened. I woke up panicking completely thinking I have done ruined my life. I was going to prison and would lose my child. Since then, I haven't stopped ruminating. I have had days where I feel okay, but then there are days where I can't stop crying. Thinking I don't deserve my child, and I deserve to be in the ground. I was on a new medication that was causing me to spiral and giving me insomnia during this time. I wasn't getting much sleep at all. Since then, I've slept on the floor, and I eventually got my child to sleep in their own bed to avoid this happening again. I got off the medication and feel so much better with my thoughts and sleeping so much better. My daughter tells me how wonderful I am often, but I don't feel that I even deserve to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I'm not a good mom. I was four months ago before I spiraled. What's wrong with me? (edited)
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