i have a problem with constantly needing reassurance. i cant make decisions for myself anymore, it makes me really anxious, and i’m not sure why. ive been in bad/abusive relationships in the past where they have hit me or told me that i’m weak and not being myself, and it always happened when i decided to try and make my own decisions. my therapist has tried to help me, telling me to start with just making one decision a day, but i can’t stick to it because i’m afraid. what do i do?

That sounds really hard, I'm so sorry for your experiences. Indecisiveness and needing very high levels of information in order to make decisions or feel confident about a worry are core features of OCD. I think you could benefit from ERP for that anxiety, even if you don't know quite where it's coming from- it sounds like there's trauma in there, a conditioned fear of making a decision which is met with cruelty or gaslighting, maybe a feeling that there are no right decisions, and avoidance is your go-to for this. It would make me anxious too in many ways to have other people making my decisions for me. It's going to be very powerful for you to take your control back, I think you need to do that by combining some help with the OCD with some reprocessing some of your experiences in therapy. Are you able to see a recent post from a user called kaysf? I described a method in the comments for processing uncomfortable feelings. I think it could help you to try it out, by resolving to make a decision and then using this process I described there to feel through all the anxiety which it causes and any other feelings which might come up. It's okay to cry during it or take a break to cry or scream, and you might have fragments of memories or experiences come up during it, which you can process by going back to the method and focusing on those feelings that the memories cause. For you I'd also recommend having someone you trust close by while you do it for moral support and to listen- they don't have to be in the same room if you're not comfortable but it's important that you have somebody available to provide support. Even if it brings up feelings you know or have been told don't reflect things accurately, like guilt or worthlessness, it's okay to feel them with that ERP method. It doesn't mean you're accepting them as true or accurate or that they mean anything, it's just important for you to let yourself have those feelings and process them so that you can address the memories and the feelings intellectually afterwards with your therapist or your close friend/family member as you choose to. I know from experience that trying to fight self blame from abuse doesn't work until those feelings have been felt, no matter how undeserved they rationally are. Thinking of you! ❤️

I was also in an abusive relationship where he hit me and emotionally abused me. It’s caused me to become an extremely passive person and apologize all the time. I feel like I can never make decisions or be myself. My current boyfriend pushes me to make choices for myself. It’s scary at first, but in time you’ll be okay. This is your life after all, it’s not up to anyone else! You got this :)