My mind is telling me now more than ever that I’m gay But when I chat with girls and phone sex I get boners and I still enjoy sex with the opposite sex but I have these mouth sensations where I’d feel like I’m blushing but when I look I’m not and it makes things worse

Maybe you're gay. Maybe you're not. Maybe you're actually an alien from Jupiter. Whatever the case is, spending time trying to figure it out is keeping you from doing things you value

I’ve been living with this for a year Im tired of this

If ocd is telling you your gay and your not then we can’t believe it right, because you know yourself better than anyone. If someone tells us tomorrow that your gay, we can’t believe that because we know we are not. Just like that ocd is trying to change you, it’s trying to ruin you. Ignore that thought, because think of it ocd sends intrusive thoughts, we have to try to ignore them. I know it’s hard to ignore, but you really need to ignore. Try to put your focus to something fun, do something else when those thoughts come in your head, because you need to say no to the thoughts. They are intrusive thoughts, you didn’t invite them. Look if someone who’s your enemy tells you tomorrow that your gay, you won’t believe that. Just like that you can’t believe ocd, it’s just your enemy and it tries to ruin you. We can’t listen to our enemy if we want to live, right? So try to ignore those thoughts. You might be thinking it’s really hard, and I know it is. But we have to ignore those thoughts and remove our focus from them, because that will just make us worried and worried. So just think of ocd like a human, and your enemy, because it is. Don’t listen to your enemy, don’t pay attention to it. Please try to put your focus elsewhere please. I lived with ocd for more than a year and it was horrible, then I got help from here. Someone told me the exact same things I’m telling you, and I didn’t listen. But then after I had to listen, because I had no choice left. So I tried to ignore, it was really hard cause the thoughts kept on bothering me, but if you don’t listen to the thoughts then ocd will go away. It will give up. Have you gone to a therapist?