FuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
sillybilly sillybilly
- Date posted
- 5y
I guess you’re trying so hard to be a good person that being a bad person is the root of your fears. We don’t want to be a bad person, that’s why OCD latches on to us to scare us and make us double think. If you know that you are a good person then just ignore those intrusive thoughts because they do not determine who you are. Thoughts are just thoughts, not feelings. Good luck.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. Given all I wrote, Do you think I’m what I fear? Or do you think it’s just ocd
sillybilly sillybilly
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD OCD is basically fear of X. Fear of hurting people, fear of liking the same sex or oppositie sex, fear of liking kids, etc. we’re so scared of becoming it that we start to obsess over it and then we do rituals to calm us down. Then the cycle continues. I think you’re afraid of being a p********* that it’s bothering you so much and giving you false feelings. But I’m no licensed or professional therapist soooooo don’t take my word for it lol. Those are just my opinion.
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
i have a friend in prison. he isn’t a pedophile but has had encounters with pedophiles throughout the 20 years that he’s been in prison. he told me that the pedophiles tends to justify their behavour, not taking responsibility for it, thinking they were right to do it, and playing the victims because they themselves were molested as children. they tell themselves stories to minimize or make themselves unaccountable for their thoughts/actions.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Isn’t that what I’m trying to do tho? Minimize it??
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
You are not a bad person! Before you didn’t think they were bad...what’s changed? It’s your OCD talkin. I used to have these thoughts. sometimes they resurface but i can identify them as ocd: it’s just my ocd talkin. i’m 48 now, had them when i was around your age...are you doing ERP? You are not a pedophile. Your OCD is trying to trick you/ fuck with your head. tell it to fuck off. you did well to reach out.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
The part that changed was that I realized I was having thoughts about kids (and acting on them.) I used to watch pediatric medical videos growing up because that was the only sexuality I knew. I knew it was wrong because it was like p*rn but “legal.” (I was a kid myself at the time, but high school.) I stopped once I starting thinking omg what if I’m a p********. But now the intrusive thoughts still happen and I hate them but then I feel like I like them (as must of you are saying) and then my head goes back to “these thoughts have always been there, which makes you a real p********, but now you know it and hate it” I really don’t want to hurt anyone and I hate this so much. I have had multiple diff themes of OCD in the past as I have mentioned before. I used to hate my handwriting and think it was horrible even tho it’s beautiful. I’ve feared being straight and that I might’ve “gotten it wrong” when I came out. I fear that I don’t like my idol, Lady Gaga, or that she would hate me—most likely because of this new theme. I’ve never hurt a child and I would never want to. But the fact that I’m really not attracted to a ton of older men scares the hell outta me. (Everyone is like “Brad Pitt is so hot” and I’m like, no he’s not, he’s old ...) don’t get me wrong, I am attracted to people my own age, just not that much older than me.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m really eager to hear your response. I swear I’m not a bad person
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
Sounds like you are judging yourself too harshly (which i can totally relate to) and that you are very concerned about what others think of you as well as letting society’s “norms” dictate how you feel about yourself(which i can also relate to-and have come to the conclusion is totally normal) we have to accept the way we are and embrace it. we are not our ocd.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you think it’s just OCD? Or is my fear real?!
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
you are a good person or else you woudn’t have a conscience and wouldn’t even question yourself. a pedophile doesn’t question themselves and is always justifying their actions.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. You have given me a lot of relief, I really appreciate it. My therapist says I’m not one either (both my one at home and at school.) It gives me relief and then I start to spiral again because I go and “check facts.”
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
no. because you are not a pedophile. your ocd is playing tricks on you.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD my pleasure. glad i can help in some way. do you do ERP?
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
@I n I I’m afraid it would just excite me. (I’ve heard this response a lot on this app.) cuz arent I technically doing ERP just by being in public?
I n II n I
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD yeah i know me too and i don’t know how to do ERP for the type of ocd i have, and if it really works for every one.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Someone respond, I’m spiraling
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
And by acting on them, I simply mean by myself. I stopped once I started fearing being a p**. I would NEVER hurt anyone, let alone a child
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m being super super raw, because I just want this to end. I swear I’m a good person irl.
FuckOCDFuckOCD
- Date posted
- 5y
This has been debilitating since January
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- Date posted
- 24w
Pocd and 13 years old...
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Givenup
- Date posted
- 24w
Extremely horrible real events
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Givenup
- Date posted
- 24w
Childhood real pocd events
What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 14... don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭
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