- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I guess you’re trying so hard to be a good person that being a bad person is the root of your fears. We don’t want to be a bad person, that’s why OCD latches on to us to scare us and make us double think. If you know that you are a good person then just ignore those intrusive thoughts because they do not determine who you are. Thoughts are just thoughts, not feelings. Good luck.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. Given all I wrote, Do you think I’m what I fear? Or do you think it’s just ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD OCD is basically fear of X. Fear of hurting people, fear of liking the same sex or oppositie sex, fear of liking kids, etc. we’re so scared of becoming it that we start to obsess over it and then we do rituals to calm us down. Then the cycle continues. I think you’re afraid of being a p********* that it’s bothering you so much and giving you false feelings. But I’m no licensed or professional therapist soooooo don’t take my word for it lol. Those are just my opinion.
- Date posted
- 5y
i have a friend in prison. he isn’t a pedophile but has had encounters with pedophiles throughout the 20 years that he’s been in prison. he told me that the pedophiles tends to justify their behavour, not taking responsibility for it, thinking they were right to do it, and playing the victims because they themselves were molested as children. they tell themselves stories to minimize or make themselves unaccountable for their thoughts/actions.
- Date posted
- 5y
Isn’t that what I’m trying to do tho? Minimize it??
- Date posted
- 5y
You are not a bad person! Before you didn’t think they were bad...what’s changed? It’s your OCD talkin. I used to have these thoughts. sometimes they resurface but i can identify them as ocd: it’s just my ocd talkin. i’m 48 now, had them when i was around your age...are you doing ERP? You are not a pedophile. Your OCD is trying to trick you/ fuck with your head. tell it to fuck off. you did well to reach out.
- Date posted
- 5y
The part that changed was that I realized I was having thoughts about kids (and acting on them.) I used to watch pediatric medical videos growing up because that was the only sexuality I knew. I knew it was wrong because it was like p*rn but “legal.” (I was a kid myself at the time, but high school.) I stopped once I starting thinking omg what if I’m a p********. But now the intrusive thoughts still happen and I hate them but then I feel like I like them (as must of you are saying) and then my head goes back to “these thoughts have always been there, which makes you a real p********, but now you know it and hate it” I really don’t want to hurt anyone and I hate this so much. I have had multiple diff themes of OCD in the past as I have mentioned before. I used to hate my handwriting and think it was horrible even tho it’s beautiful. I’ve feared being straight and that I might’ve “gotten it wrong” when I came out. I fear that I don’t like my idol, Lady Gaga, or that she would hate me—most likely because of this new theme. I’ve never hurt a child and I would never want to. But the fact that I’m really not attracted to a ton of older men scares the hell outta me. (Everyone is like “Brad Pitt is so hot” and I’m like, no he’s not, he’s old ...) don’t get me wrong, I am attracted to people my own age, just not that much older than me.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m really eager to hear your response. I swear I’m not a bad person
- Date posted
- 5y
Sounds like you are judging yourself too harshly (which i can totally relate to) and that you are very concerned about what others think of you as well as letting society’s “norms” dictate how you feel about yourself(which i can also relate to-and have come to the conclusion is totally normal) we have to accept the way we are and embrace it. we are not our ocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you think it’s just OCD? Or is my fear real?!
- Date posted
- 5y
you are a good person or else you woudn’t have a conscience and wouldn’t even question yourself. a pedophile doesn’t question themselves and is always justifying their actions.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. You have given me a lot of relief, I really appreciate it. My therapist says I’m not one either (both my one at home and at school.) It gives me relief and then I start to spiral again because I go and “check facts.”
- Date posted
- 5y
no. because you are not a pedophile. your ocd is playing tricks on you.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD my pleasure. glad i can help in some way. do you do ERP?
- Date posted
- 5y
@I n I I’m afraid it would just excite me. (I’ve heard this response a lot on this app.) cuz arent I technically doing ERP just by being in public?
- Date posted
- 5y
@FuckOCD yeah i know me too and i don’t know how to do ERP for the type of ocd i have, and if it really works for every one.
- Date posted
- 5y
Someone respond, I’m spiraling
- Date posted
- 5y
And by acting on them, I simply mean by myself. I stopped once I started fearing being a p**. I would NEVER hurt anyone, let alone a child
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m being super super raw, because I just want this to end. I swear I’m a good person irl.
- Date posted
- 5y
This has been debilitating since January
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I'm 14m n I hope I have pocd and I've never got a official diagnosis, a lot of times I get what I hope is false attraction when I see certain kinds of kids, not all kids cause it, only some of them do, I'm worried that's a sign of actual acttraction, today I saw a reel on insta n it had some 8 year old kid in it, I felt what I hope is false attraction but it felt too real, I initially scrolled past it but I scrolled back idk why and watched the full reel with the kid in it, I really hope it was false attraction and not real, I don't understand why I scrolled back onto the reel, I don't think I should have done that, I'm worried it's actual attraction, just this past week I've met a girl my age whom I knew I was into, I don't get why this stuff is happening to me, but I don't want to be a pedo n I wanna be able to have a relationship with that girl I met. Also today I went to see a therapist for the first time and I described this situation and what I hope is false attraction, my therapist told me that feelings are just feelings unless you act on them, now I'm worried she was saying that I am attracted to kids but I'm just not acting on it, like I said, I really hope I'm not a pedo and that I hope I'm able to have a relationship with a girl my age but now I'm doubting myself so much, I'm starting to believe that I am just a pedo in denial, I don't understand what's happening with me anymore, I can't stand it all anymore. I've also never gotten a official diagnosis.
- Date posted
- 16w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
- Date posted
- 16w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond