just sharing a success story. I did some scripting and other ERP and feel cured of my obsession and compulsive behavior. I sat through those exposures and resisted my compulsion (checking) and it worked! I am so relieved and have had thoughts but they just seem to pass by now. There is hope!

I wrote out scripts of what my worst thoughts were and kept reading them over and over until I became desensitized to them. I also looked at a kids clothing catalog and resisted my checking compulsion.

Yeah not bothered at all. I see them now and then again, but they just seem to pass and my mind automatically says 'that's just a thought'. It was so bad before I did these exercises, I was in despair every night. It wasn't easy but I feel so free now. Just wanted to post to day there is hope. Meditation has also helped tremendously.

@James That’s so amazing. I feel so much hope hearing that. For me my POCD thoughts keep telling me I WILL feel attracted and harm children, or I already feel attracted and I’m in denial. Did you suffer with any of these, if so how do you respond to them now? Thanks so much. So happy to hear your story and so proud of your work!!

@199903 Yes. Especially the denial one. I would do a quick meditation to calm my mind and then do the exposure techniques and resist my compulsions. My main compulsions were checking for a physical response and reassuring myself. The reassuring was particularly dangerous because there is nothing that would satisfy my mind to be 100% confident.

@James What kind of exposures did you do to stop reassuring yourself? I just can’t seem to let the thoughts be without making sure I’ll never do it!

@199903 I wrote out a script of one of my reccuring thoughts. It was terrible but rereading seemed to desensitize me to it. I wrote it out in detail, what would happen afterwards. What I would feel like. I just kept rereading this until it was boring to me. I also mentioned a different exposure in one of my comment responses above.

@199903 I used the timer and restarted it whenever I did a compulsion. Start small and build up. You got this!

no need to apologise. It just makes me realize that it's just another thought along with the hundreds of other thoughts I have throughout the day. It made me realize that I am not what my worst thoughts say I am, deep down I would never want to cause harm to another person. I guess my mind doesn't really care about whether it is likely to happen or not. I'm not sure if that helps.

@James It definitely helps! Thank you for taking the time to reply. I hope one day I can get to the place where you are too. How do you feel about having children of your own in the future etc. (If you don’t already have them)?

@199903 Do you have any thoughts on if you’d like to have children in the future James? It’s one of my goals personally

@199903 yes. I can't wait to have kids. I used to be terrified of the thought even though I know I always have wanted them. I am no longer worried about being a father.

@James I’m so happy to hear that. That’s amazing that you’ve come so far! I’m terrified right now at the thought of caring for my future children because of my intrusive thoughts. Could I ask what helped you become less afraid? Also, how long did you do ERP before you started to feel relief from your obsession? Thanks so much for answering my questions ?

@199903 It was really all the erp and scripting that helped. I probably did it over ten sessions. Started with a few minutes and built up from there. I also stopped drinking caffeine since I realized that spiked my anxiety. I went from being despair to feeling free in a matter of weeks. Again, the thoughts do still come up but my mind just doesn't get tangled up in them. I don't worry over if theyre true or not. I don't try to reassure myself that they're not true. I no longer check myself every single time I see a kid on the street. I can just see a kid and think 'they're so cute'. I wish this amount of freedom for everyone. Happy to answer any questions at all.

@James Did you work with a therapist during your ERP or was it self directed? And does it bother you that the thoughts still come and go, or is it so unintrusive it causes no problems? I’m going to keep practicing scripting on my own, but I still don’t quite understand how it’ll make me no longer worry that I won’t act out, which is my core fear. Do you have any thoughts on that? Thanks so much

@199903 I did not work with a therapist. I used the exercises in mindfulness workbook for OCD. There is a a particular chapter for our type of OCD. They still appear and I notice them every now and then. But they don't bother me at all. I can't say how it works or that it'll work for you. But I feel like I have my life back now so just want to share that there is hope. It sounds like your compulsion is similar to mine where I would try to reassure myself that I would never act out. I did the scripts and the exposure and resisted reassuring myself. I think it trains your brain that it's okay to have those thoughts and not get tangled up in them.

@James After reading a lot I see now how it makes sense that there is no way I can know for absolute sure I would never act out. That was scary to think about when I was still in ocd mode, but now it is strangely comforting. I have a choice and I know what kind of person I am and what I value that I would never want to hurt anyone.

@James That’s the workbook I’m doing right now too! I haven’t finished it yet but I have written out a script on the particular chapter. Yeah, I constantly reassure myself that I won’t do something and feel like I need proof and certainty of that too. Hopefully in time I can train my brain that the level of response it’s producing for the thought is way more than needed! Yeah, logically I know that no one can ever prove for sure they’ll never act out, not even a saint or something, which does still feel scary. I know I have a choice on what I do, but in my OCD brain it seems like it’s a given no matter what and I’m just in denial. It’s so, so hard.

@199903 Do you feel you will still need to see a therapist at some stage or are you confident with your tools and being compulsion free?

@199903 Right now I can't see myself needing a therapist for this. Yeah it's not easy but we make it much more complicated than it actually is (not judging since I went through the same thing).

@199903 Another book I would recommend is overcoming harm OCD. Very similar themes.

I get headaches when I come across certain triggers or I go into the mental compulsion rabbit hole but since I’ve been on medication the headache intensity has gone down a lot.

@evkrey Mine are about pictures, which are not under my control. I told my friend too delete a picture but she likes it but made me go crazy, just rushing instruve thoughts about things. Cuz I was there when it was taken, and I cry and have headaches and do not feel like myself. I feel if it was deleted I’d would “feel like myself again”

I never experienced that. I did get migraines but I don't any more. I don't know if it was directly related to my ocd

@James I know because my mind races and then my energy is out into that thought that I start too get headaches