I have sexual orientation ocd but i am genuinely a lesbian and my ocd centers around me worrying about being straight/ attracted to men. Is there anyone else here like that?? Should I even post in this topic?? I don’t want to trigger anybody but this obsession causes a lot of problems in my life and I know that within the lgbt community, this sort of self doubt is common even among those who don’t have ocd at all.

True. I guess it’s important to remember that people posting here about their fears of being gay isn’t a personal attack it’s the OCD. Fear of being alienated I guess? But this is a supportive community so I shouldn’t let that stop me from talking abt it here.

Thanks! I will :)

I would totally like to talk :) ! I hear people talking about “compulsive heterosexuality” (idk the more current term) online a lot and it seems to be the same thought process that people with HOCD have. I’ve known I was a lesbian for several years now but I’m closeted so I think that could be affecting things too. I have a question: how did you deal with intrusive thoughts about men?? I have a history of trauma and hypersexuality which makes a lot of my obsessions and compulsions very complicated, but one of the most irritating daily occurrences I experience is sexual intrusive thoughts about virtually everybody I interact with, especially my male therapist and male teachers/adults.

@blackraspberry Yes, I totally think compulsive heterosexuality is part of it. I think almost every gay person feels the effects of that in some way - we were literally raised and conditioned to find the opposite gender attractive - but its hard for us, because OCD makes that mean a lot more than it should!! I find a lot of comfort in the fact that most people don’t take labels as seriously as people with HOCD, for example, its like how a lot of lesbians say they think Harry Styles is super attractive, but they don’t question their entire identity over it. It’s just a funny thing about their sexuality that exists and it helps lessen the pressure a little bit to know that a lot of lesbians feel this way. So I think trying to keep a light attitude about it helps a lot, because attraction is ultimately so hard to tease out when you put a microscope on it, OCD or not. And as for the intrusive thoughts, I totally know how you feel:( when my OCD was at its worst I could barely look at men without having really graphic sexual thoughts and then “checking” to see how they made me feel. Like i literally wouldn’t go out for fear of seeing men, and on the flip side of that, i’d even stalk guys on social media to try and figure out how i felt... obviously none of that avoidance or checking helped anything and just made it worse. Things started to get better for me when I recognized those OCD behaviors and tried to think about how someone without HOCD would react. Like my girlfriend, for example, is a lesbian but finds a lot of guys attractive and that just isn’t a big deal for her. I try to just channel that energy whenever I get triggered by a guy, so accepting the fact sexuality is complixated and that I could find him attractive and moving on. (Easier said than done, just saying that still triggers me even though its gotten a lot better!!) But overall, this helped a little bit with the intrusive images. I think more than anything just be gentle with yourself. Sexuality is super complicated and having OCD makes it almost impossible to accept that, but I’m trying to. I always wish things fit into nice labels and categories, but they don’t!! I say I’m a lesbian because for all intensive purposes I am, and it’s a simple way to portray myself to others, but it’s always gonna be a little more complicated than that, for gay and straight people alike. I think people without HOCD just don’t have think about it as deeply as we do. Now I’m rambling but I have so many thoughts on this hahahaha. Also reading the article “I think it moved” by steven j phillipson really was a turning point for me, i read it whenever i feel discouraged!! Definitely look at that if you have a chance.