- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Distance is often difficult for people in relationships. Think about long distance relationships: the first thing people say about them most of the time is how hard they are. Support each other in whatever way you can. And remind each other that it’s okay if you’re both frustrated with the distance right now or feeling out of sync with each other. Things can improve again once this is over. In the meantime, this is a great opportunity to improve communication. Talk about the needs you both have and which of them aren’t being met. Brainstorm how you can change that or at least provide compassion and understanding for each other about those unmet needs for the time being.
- Date posted
- 5y
thank u so much! it’s harder when u have rocd because simple things can often turn into catastrophic thinking and make u feel like ur whole relationship is falling apart when it’s rlly not and everything is normal.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im so late to this but I go to college in a different state while my boyfriend works in our hometown. We are a bit used to the distance but its still hard. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder and we always said that the day we got to see each other again would make all the waiting worth it. The best thing we ever did was schedule calls. We would both be busy during the day so at 9pm we facetime and play games on our phones (imessage games) with each other and talk about our days. Communication can be be hard but as long as you make time to talk to each other and try and find little things to do together, like Netflix party mode or playing games and talking, you will be just fine! At the end of the day if you have real feelings for someone you can get through times like this together! and its okay to question things or overthink and worry so long as you’re communicating that. I have thoughts like that all the time but my boyfriend knows how my brain works and he can help give a little extra reassurance. So just be open and talk about your thoughts good or bad!
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s normal ❤️ my partner and I haven’t seen each other for months bc of this and we fought a lot more at the start too. It’s harder to feel affection when you can’t touch/kiss/etc. Do you ever feel scared that quarantine is gonna make you fall out of love? That’s my fear. Stay strong, and remember that this will pass and we will all find relief someday if we stick through it!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 18w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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