*trigger warning: trauma & sex* I am a woman currently dating a man. We have been in a loving relationship for almost three years. About a year ago I came out as bisexual, and now my OCD thoughts are running wild. I consistently worry to no end that I am actually a lesbian. I was in an abusive relationship several years ago, which has really affected my life. It’s really hard for me not to get triggered during sex. Then my OCD tells me that I panic because I don’t like men and that I’m a lesbian, not that I am having a normal trauma response. This is the first time I’ve really typed it out, but it’s just so hard for me to reassure myself when I get so deep into my OCD thoughts. I can’t separate my obsessions from my own thoughts and feelings. I am attracted to women... because I’m bisexual, but my OCD can’t stop from telling me otherwise. Any advice from someone that has experienced something similar would be appreciated.

Hmmm... so, not that i have the exact same experience at all. And I’m not trying to offer solely reinforcement bc I know we should not do that. BUT. I am 26 years old. And my senior year of college I fell in love with a women. And I mean I truly fell in love with her and to this day we are together. From years of reflection I think now I would consider myself under the “queer” umbrella but it is still something very much on the spectrum for me. Anyways... I do not have the same experience at all in the sense of your trauma experience. I really do want to emphasis that bc I don’t want to devalue that/compare it. But i do resonate with the OCD thoughts about the confusion of sexual intimacy. For very long time I OBSESSED that I will not be able to love this woman whole heartedly bc I was for my entire life “straight” and that I wouldn’t be able to give myself to her in that way/feel fulfilled enough to be here for the long haul. I obsessed for awhile and eventually it ran out due to multiple different things but for a very long time I was just truly obsessed with thinking the relationship was a big fraud and If I didn’t realize it and sooner or later i would end it bc I’d realize the “truth” of the situation. I would share a lot of details to be specific but idk just how much is encouraged here lol. But I do want you to know I relate and I’m here four years later with her and it’s the realist thing to ever happen to me regardless of the intrusive thoughts. and it has been HARD to say the least. Sexuality is so hard to navigate in general if you were brought up in a conservative home let alone meshing it with OCD to confuse everything you think you know. I get it and I’m here for you and I believe in you. There is light ???