Mars

Date posted: 5y

I have an appointment with a therapist next week but it isn’t any specialized therapist so I’m just really hoping she knows about Ocd and subtypes of it. I feel I’m going insane. I’m paranoid as all hell and my YouTube recommended videos are triggering me and I’m scared people can see what I talk about or something and that’s why my YouTube recs are the way they are and my pocd is being triggered by them. I just want it all to go away.

POCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

Comment deleted by user

Mars

Date posted: 5y

No I don’t really, what do they have in common?

Mars

Date posted: 5y

@Bob999 Majority of them yes none of them have come true yet youre right. Though I do have obsessions with deaths that have happened but that’s just life. And it’s hard to accept that it’s life.

DMD

Date posted: 5y

I agree with Christine. Tell the therapist everything so you can get it off your chest what you’re going through. I would add this caveat though - if the therapist tries to help you figure out the why behind this, like maybe deep down you are a pedophile, then it’s the wrong therapist for you.

ThreeLittleB...

Date posted: 5y

Be very careful with what you say I’d start with the small stuff first and ask them to also do homework on ocd while you practice your homework. I had pocd for a while and received great treatment and the only thing I admitted to having was contamination ocd and fear of developing schizophrenia. You do not have to talk about the content of your thought you can simply say I deal with Guilt Shame Fear Intrusive thoughts that vary And anxiety That’s enough to get started

Mars

Date posted: 5y

I’ve been through many therapists who didn’t understand and bc of some past trauma it’s hard for me to trust therapists in general with anything, Because ocd is not the only thing I struggle with. I was in a day program for a while and the psychiatrist there was the best I ever had and he knew my ocd was ocd. But it was always very general. I’m always very cautious anyways but I wanna be able to talk to my therapists about ALL my problems, not just ocd but my bpd and my traumas as well and not feel fear.

Stronger.

Date posted: 5y

I disagree with everyone warning you to be careful. I have an therapist who I tell everything to and I absolutely love. She's not specialized in OCD but it doesn't matter because these thoughts, even the horrible ones are just that, thoughts. Also, if you are in America look up OpenPath

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

Comment deleted by user

Mars

Date posted: 5y

They don’t take my insurance and I don’t have the money for that. I don’t have a job.

Mars

Date posted: 5y

Spoken to NOCD, my dad would never be able to have us afford 25-50 a week sessions. There’s an ocd specialist in my state and their prices are 100-300$.. they too don’t take insurance. I don’t have a job.. I have no other options.

Ania85

Date posted: 5y

@Mars See if you can talk to NOCD. I had scheduled a meeting with them and the therapist never showed up. They ended up decreasing the amount from $50 to $25

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

Comment deleted by user

Mars

Date posted: 5y

My biggest this week has been POCD. pocd, health ocd, contamination ocd, harm ocd. These are my biggest themes. But I’ve had every obsession under the sun and I can’t handle it anymore. I’ve had obsessions since I could remember like when I was 5 or something and would literally cry bc intrusive thoughts of my mom dying would pop in my head.

Stronger.

Date posted: 5y

I don't think they will purposefully make you think you are a pedafile but yes, if they do, that's NOT the one for you. What is likely to happen is exploration of possible sexual trauma in the past. Our past often comes up to haunt us, and traumas manifest in all sorts of different ways. A good therapist will help you work through and understand all sorts of things.

Mars

Date posted: 5y

The thing is I’ve never had sexual trauma. I know the reason pocd bothers me bc of a dumb thing i did when I was 17. My actual trauma is all just having to grow up fast to take care of people.

Stronger.

Date posted: 5y

@Mars I too had to grow up fast and take care of people. That put you in a mother position at a young age which might mean you care for children more than others. (I don't know the circumstances so I may be totally wrong.) Or perhaps what you think is horrible and disgusting was inprinting to be so at a young age. What I'm trying to get across is this thing that happened aat 17 didn't cause your OCD. It's just your current obsession.

figuringital...

Date posted: 5y

I am in a similar situation Mara. Something that happened to me around that age has caused my OCD, and I just told my therapist about my POCD yesterday. It’s a big relief! I’m still struggling but that’s one thing I can not worry about.

Stronger.

Date posted: 5y

Well I kindly disagree, these things aren't the causes of the OCD but rather the OCD manifesting itself in something you deeply care about. You love kids? Here you go: think of all the stupid stuff you've done in your past. It works like that with every theme. And my guess is that once you "confess" the thing that happened at a young age, you will feel better for a little bit but then another sexual mishap will come up.

cmax20

Date posted: 24w

Nervous about starting counseling

About the beginning to middle of February I went into the doctor and requested to see a counselor. I’m starting to see a counselor about anxiety in a few days and I’m extremely nervous. I’m nervous my counselor is going to say I have to break up with my bf otherwise I’ll be stuck with ocd for the rest of my life. I’m nervous my counselor is going to think I’m crazy and not know anything about ocd. I’m nervous my counselor is going to tell my aunt how crazy and messed up I am because my aunt works in the clinic I’m going to therapy at, and if she tells my aunt everyone in my family may find out. I’m nervous I’m going to hell because I’m going to counseling and not fully leaning on God instead to fix it all for me. I’m nervous I’m a bad Christian for going to therapy and not believing Jesus is going to fix it all. I’m nervous that my future is ruined because of my mental health. I’m worried that my boyfriend is going to break up with me because I’m too much to handle and too anxious. I’m just scared for my future because of my ocd and because I am not as passionate about my faith as I used to be so I feel like I’m gonna go to hell for that or like my sister is going to die because of her seizures because of my ocd. Idk I’m so scared.

Imnew@this

Date posted: 17w

Therapy today.

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I have therapy today and I’m nervous. I just started going to therapy and I really like my therapist. She talked to me about doing ERP and I’m really nervous about it. I’m scared to tell her the extent of my OCD, and my themes. I’m scared to tell her about my false memory OCD, because I’m scared that what I did was real and I’m just excusing it as false memory, although I have no memory of it. I’m scared that I am truly a monster and I’m using OCD as an excuse—and that she’ll find out and distance herself. I’m just scared that my whole world is gonna fall apart, all around me.

blehh

Date posted: 16w

Advice?

I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying

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