- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Except I have tried watching those type of tik toks but like I don’t know what are good thoughts to have while I’m doing it like I just perform compulsions in my head the whole time so I don’t know what to tell myself. Props to you though for getting yourself to do that!! Let me know how it goes after and I hope you are doing well
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yea that doesn’t sit right with me and scared me a little bit more
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Instead of scrolling through many tiktoks, try watching the same one over and over. Pick an especially distressing one and watch it on repeat
- Date posted
- 5y ago
also another one i have is the fact that majority of girls who are bi, the ratio of girls to boy that they like is like 95:5 but they still acknowledge and know they they wouldn’t mind dating a guy but me i know that i’m still very boy crazy and i keep telling myself that i’m not bi cus of that and i can’t stop FUCK. erp is so scary and hard, i’m so scared that when this is done i’m gonna end up being bi and like girls more so then i can’t have a boyfriend and i’ll have to date girls and have sex with them even tho i really don’t want to. this feels lile conversion therapy ??
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@okaaaylisa Would you be willing to try ERP and acceptance on that fear?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel the exact same way
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ll admit I don’t exactly.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
a little advice- if you don’t know what HOCD is, don’t comment under post about it you should educate yourself instead.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@ocdear I’m working doing so now. I’m new to this app. Was trying to give some insight on my life to try to help someone who may need it. Unfortunately did more harm then good! Sorry about this guys.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@kfisher83 that’s totally fine it just happens a lot to me and some people do it intentionally to trigger people. it’s happened to me many times so i get kinda defensive. it’s good that you’re educating yourself on it now
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@kfisher83 No it’s okay! We all make mistakes
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I think it's fine to give feedback that you don't experience something. People sometimes need reminded that their experience isn't everyone's experience (even within a "theme") and that is ok. All experiences are valid. My hunch is that people who have a strong negative reaction to someone saying their experience is different were hoping everyone would say "yes, I have that too" and relieve the person's distress temporarily
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Katie +1 on that. Saying you haven't had that experience or have a different experience may be triggering to some but it's not doing something wrong and doesn't mean they're ignorant.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I avoid going on tik tok for that same reason I used to love it but now it’s just triggering me all the time . I saw this one tik tok was about a guy coming out it said “ I always thought I was ugly , but I just realized I’m not my type “ it’s stuck in my head now. I’ve lost attraction to the opposite sex literally except for my boyfriend. I used always have crushes and think boys were cute but not anymore:(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- LGBTQ+ with OCD
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 5w ago
hello everybody! 🔞 last saturday i did something i shouldn't have done, and i even posted about it here, but no one responded to my post (it's okay, i completely understand). to inform you, since i deleted the post: i consumed erotic literature where two 14 year old children had a relationship (☠️), on wattpad. and i consumed this theme to see if i was really attracted to it..i think. i'm unsure about it, but i know i didn't feel anything consuming it. i was feeling extremely anxious and felt extremely bad the next day, and i only got better when i talked to my girlfriend and an online friend. i'm still feeling bad, i know i shouldn't have done it and whenever i'm feeling genuinely good, it comes back to haunt me.. i'm worried because i'm not feeling enough guilt or remorse, idk.. i feel bad and i regret it, and i can't stand going through this problem anymore.. i was in therapy a few months ago, but i stopped for financial reasons and my psychologist doesn't see me virtually anymore. it's been difficult.. just a vent.
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