Any tips on not taking other people’s ocd personally?? I’m a lesbian with SOOCD where I obsess over being straight/attracted to men. It’s been beneficial to use this app and look at posts from others with SOOCD because it gives me some perspective. However, it’s uncomfortable to see the fear that people have over the idea of being gay because I already feel like being gay is wrong/gross/scary and my brain takes those posts as “proof” that being gay is wrong so I’m horrible. I know that this is NOT a rational thing to think but my obsession on this topic are so intrusive I just can’t help falling into that train of thought. Essentially. I feel like this app is a double edged sword so I’m unsure of if it’s even worth it to continue looking at it.

That’s true. It just feels so overwhelming lol

Thank you, and you’re right. When you feel so defensive, it’s hard to remember that the core fear of SOOCD is the same regardless of the direction. Like pureolife said, it’s probably inevitable for people to trigger eachother just because of the nature of this app? I really appreciate your words though.

I mean. Different things are triggering to different people. I haven’t done ocd specific therapy yet but I’ve had a steady therapist for years. I’m trying to get in contact with a dbt specialist and I’m trying to start working on erp on my own. Sometimes even if you’ve tried to create coping mechanisms certain issues are stubborn. The truth for me is that there are positive and negative aspects to spending time on this app. I want to be able to get as much good out of this as possible.

@blackraspberry You’re being triggered so easily because you honestly haven’t done ERP as of yet. I had a therapist for years but that didn’t make a difference because it was talk therapy. Only when I was diagnosed and then did what was needed to do via exposure therapy with a therapist and on my own did I get to this point. I still have POCD and ROCD and it comes up every once in a while (sometimes weekly), but I know what to do in those situations and I’ve gotten my issues down to a certain point where it’s manageable. The goal is to MANAGE your OCD, and that means doing hard work— including letting your thoughts and feelings on this app be as they are and not obsess over “what if...” situations, or do compulsions.

@Nica I know! That’s why I’m eager to start. I just feel like I need the help of an ocd oriented therapist to get started because dipping my toes into ERP on my own has been really overwhelming.

@blackraspberry ERP is really hard to do on your own the first time without some help from a specialist. Once you go through the process with them once for a theme, it’s much easier to use what you learn on your own for future themes. And it is quite overwhelming when you do it alone! Are you seeing a specialist soon?

@pureolife Also, here’s an article about self directed erp if you for some reason can’t see a specialist right now: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/

@pureolife My main therapist has helped me find a therapist that specializes in what I need and I plan on getting in touch with her tomorrow! She does telehealth video chats so hopefully I can start working with her really soon

@blackraspberry Awesome! Good luck ???

Yeah its debilitating.. on top of the self loathing I feel intense guilt that I’m so disgusted by myself (because it could hurt others in the community) so I isolate myself completely. I wish that there were more resources specifically targeted towards gays with SOOCD so that I could get through like. A single article without that article itself being a trigger LOL

@blackraspberry There is at least a single article - I posted it below.

The page includes an audio recording of the article - if it’s triggering, you could listen to it as an exposure, in order to dredge up your anxiety and train yourself not to respond to it.

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? I just read it and it definitely was a trigger lol. Gonna just let this pass and not dig deeper.. thank you again!

@blackraspberry Oof I feel that. Yeah letting it pass is the key. Just not responding or “so what if it’s true? so what?” or even vigorously agreeing with your anxiety to let the wind out of its sails. Just let it pass.

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? Yes those are some good responses to practice! For your own struggles with this, did you find that working with a therapist on this was helpful? I’ve brought it up to mine and he had the same sort of approach as the one that’s suggested for ERP like. So what if you are? Maybe you are? So what? But like it feels so monumentally shitty when another person says that to me that idk .

@blackraspberry Well, I think it IS different in most situations when someone else says it to you, because it would typically be dismissing your OCD and/or your lesbianism and resistance to the heterosexual order as unimportant. Whereas when we use it against our OCD, it takes the energy *away* from the OCD, making it harder for the OCD to dominate our minds and *interfere* with being huge dykes & living our best lives. C:

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? Yeah good point. Ugh all of this stuff is so complicated!! I hate it lol

@blackraspberry The words are a tool, and being put to two very different uses when someone uses them to get in our way vs when we use them to stop the OCD to stop us from getting in our way.

@blackraspberry Yeah ugh I hate having to do all the complicated dancing with mental disorders all the time ?

@blackraspberry [wakes up] okay now in order to successfully get out of bed I have to enter the special kick combo just right okay let’s see circle-square-square-triangle-circle-circle wait no that was supposed to be a triangle [falls out of bed to the floor] damn it okay what now

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? I KNOW LOL ?? it’s so frustrating I feel like I’m constantly playing chess against myself except the other me keeps cheating and changing the rules so I can never get the upper hand

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? For example : I have complex rules that I Must Live By and one of them is that I need to create todo lists. However, there are specific criteria that they Must Follow so I don’t forget anything and ruin my life so I need to make them Perfect . But I can never decide what a “perfect” to-do list includes ?? #notfun

@blackraspberry That sounds possibly like what the usual diagnostics call “just-right OCD” - I believe there’s a topic for it here on NOCD. & it sounds painful. :(