ancm
- Date posted
- 5y
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey :( you're clearly struggling. I had pocd for a little bit, so I know how traumatising it can be. I remember somebody said to me during this time that "you cannot be dragged kicking and screaming into a sexuality" (sorry if that's reassurance but it is true). As for the articles, I assume you are reading them compulsively to check whether you are what you fear or not. This is a compulsion. You should idenfity compulsions and try to stop doing them, easier said than done I know. Yes, it's true, non-offending paedophiles do exist, and so do sufferers of POCD. Can you be sure you're one and not the other? Can you be certain? That is probably what your OCD is asking you. To that, you should play OCD at it's own game. "I wont answer you, there are lots of uncertainties in this world. How can I be sure the sun will rise tomorrow morning? Why are you not focusing on that?" Guess what? We all live with uncertainties all the time. Always. We are always uncertain, it's just that OCD latches onto what disturbs us the most, dont forget ocd thoughts are ego-dystonic. Please reach out to suicide helplines if you feel you're reaching a low point. Know that you're not the first pocd sufferer, nor will you be the last. Many have had pocd and it's gone completely but you must help yourself by resisting from compulsions and not feeding the OCD monster.
Gremlin of DrinksGremlin of D...
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t read online! It’s a compulsion! You are worthy and the days will get better.
Tmbc2740Tmbc2740
- Date posted
- 5y
I can’t agree more it’s hard not to search and read online but it’s a horrible compulsion
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m trying so hard but i just want to be normal. i don’t want to be a “non offender” or offender. i just want to be normal
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
You are normal, you have OCD intrusive thoughts or a nature that terrify you and they become repetitive, guess what, so do the rest of us here, every single one of us here!
andrewt_andrewt_
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
If there’s even a CHANCE you are not a pedophile , you should still love you life as best you can. Not reassuring you , but you know you have OCD and it’s possible this is all just OCD. Searching the Internet is tempting but compulsive , and not everything on the Internet is accurate since just about anyone can write something. Keep on persevering , you’re really strong and I’m proud of you for pulling through the pain caused by OCD.
andrewt_andrewt_
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Live ** not love
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
but like,,, what if i was born with this?? what do i do?? i don’t want to be alive if i’m not attracted to people my age or older?? i don’t want to be alive if i’m sexually or emotionally/romantically attracted to babies??
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
a lot of the times it’s not even what if. it’s just “you are and you have no choice accept it”
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Very common. When my thoughts were bad, it was "You could" "You should" "You might" "Its possible" It's very common with OCD, I assure you.
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you
DessDess
- Date posted
- 5y
I try not to google everyday and it will drive you nuts at first but honestly fuck what the articles say. Anyone can be born anything. I could be born with a disability, being a psychopath, or not have survived! Nothing is certain. But I also wanna note that I had this problem a few months ago when I read a statistic about how only children end up being violent in households that aren’t put together. I read it over and said it had to be true. I, myself am an only child. I have these awful harm ocd thoughts. That must mean I am apart of the statistic and I am violent. But now I look back on all the research I did. I could read about “will I do this...” for forever. It is literally a loop setting you up for failure. Sorry this is so long I just can tell you’re struggling like I was/am. It feels so real. There are so many awful things in the world. We can’t hate ourselves for it forever. If you were okay with being a pedo and didn’t care I think that would be an issue. But it scares you. Just know that.
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you. the only thing is that it doesn’t even matter if i’m scared. the people born with it said they are/were too then accepted it but i refuse
DessDess
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah so what are you gonna do? Run away from it or confront it?
Maria SavioMaria Savio
- Date posted
- 5y
If you are distressed about it then you are not a pedophile....those that are, even non offending ones do not stress about it...that is what they like and they do not see it as wrong. It's an OCD theme, I've battled it too and it WILL fade. It's one of the worst I know I've been there and I'd rather be dead than molest a child. If one was a true pedophile they would not feel that. You will be okay ❤❤
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
but what if it’s NOT. then i literally don’t have any hope
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
What do all intrusive thoughts start with? "What if" Well, what if the sun doesn't rise tomorrow? If the sun doesn't rise tomorrow nobody has any hope. But how many of us are walking around terrified the sun wont rise? Probably no one. Why? Because it's not a thought that terrifies us to out core. You have intrusive thoughts that terrify you, they're ego-dystonic thoughts. Accepting uncertainty doesn't mean you're accepting you could be what you fear. It means letting the thoughts swim around in your head while staying away from compulsions, like checking or reassurance seeking. Compulsions feed OCD.
MJocdMJocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@MJocd Saying that, I could be terrified the sun might not rise tomorrow it the sun was very important to me. If that was the case, I would also be feeling how you're feeling right now. You care for the well being and safety of children, they're important to you so therefore, you have this theme.
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
i think run for a bit until my therapist and i get a plan.
ancmancm
- Date posted
- 5y
thank tou
Related posts
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 16w
False attraction
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 16w
I don’t understand who I am
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 16w
Doubting pocd
So I just read a Reddit post about how this guy found out that he was a pedo because of how he started feeling that he was still attracted to middle schoolers as a 14 year old in high school and it never changed even when he got into adulthood. I’m currently under the age of 16 and I’m worried of my attraction feelings I felt towards some kids I’ve seen on social media and real life, I’m not sure if they are false or not. I have gotten a diagnosis, I remember lying on 2 questions, saying I didn’t feel aroused and that i don’t enjoy the thoughts n feelings. I’m not sure if i enjoy the thoughts and feelings, and now im worried i about it, i dont feel worry dread panic or shame and disgust when I get those thoughts and feelings anymore. I also remember that when i was 14 I felt attracted to a 12 or 11 year old, i kept going back to look at her idk why, but i think that i was worried because I didn’t want to be attracted to younger aged ppl. Im worried that all of these feelings of attraction aren’t false and that they are a reflection of who i am. I do not wish to be a pedo, nor do I wish to like kids. I know that I won’t hurt kids, but I’m scared that I am a pedo because of the feelings I get. I don’t understand myself anymore, I hope it’s pocd not actual pedophilia, I don’t trust that diagnosis I got because of those 2 questions I lied on, I said that i don’t like those thoughts n feelings even though I don’t know if I really do or not, can someone please help me? Idk what I have anymore, I don’t want it to be pedophilia
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