read a couple articles that you can be born a pedo. that you have no choice and that you were born attracted to prepubescent children. that some people believe they have it. it’s terrifying. i’m scared i have it. these people who “do” don’t want it and not all of them act on it. but i don’t want to be that. i don’t want to be attracted to that i don’t even want it in my brain. i tried to kill myself yesterday because of this. i talked to my therapist but idk what to do idk if this is pocd anymore. someone please respond it can be anything tbh

Hey :( you're clearly struggling. I had pocd for a little bit, so I know how traumatising it can be. I remember somebody said to me during this time that "you cannot be dragged kicking and screaming into a sexuality" (sorry if that's reassurance but it is true). As for the articles, I assume you are reading them compulsively to check whether you are what you fear or not. This is a compulsion. You should idenfity compulsions and try to stop doing them, easier said than done I know. Yes, it's true, non-offending paedophiles do exist, and so do sufferers of POCD. Can you be sure you're one and not the other? Can you be certain? That is probably what your OCD is asking you. To that, you should play OCD at it's own game. "I wont answer you, there are lots of uncertainties in this world. How can I be sure the sun will rise tomorrow morning? Why are you not focusing on that?" Guess what? We all live with uncertainties all the time. Always. We are always uncertain, it's just that OCD latches onto what disturbs us the most, dont forget ocd thoughts are ego-dystonic. Please reach out to suicide helplines if you feel you're reaching a low point. Know that you're not the first pocd sufferer, nor will you be the last. Many have had pocd and it's gone completely but you must help yourself by resisting from compulsions and not feeding the OCD monster.

Don’t read online! It’s a compulsion! You are worthy and the days will get better.

i’m trying so hard but i just want to be normal. i don’t want to be a “non offender” or offender. i just want to be normal

If there’s even a CHANCE you are not a pedophile , you should still love you life as best you can. Not reassuring you , but you know you have OCD and it’s possible this is all just OCD. Searching the Internet is tempting but compulsive , and not everything on the Internet is accurate since just about anyone can write something. Keep on persevering , you’re really strong and I’m proud of you for pulling through the pain caused by OCD.

but like,,, what if i was born with this?? what do i do?? i don’t want to be alive if i’m not attracted to people my age or older?? i don’t want to be alive if i’m sexually or emotionally/romantically attracted to babies??

a lot of the times it’s not even what if. it’s just “you are and you have no choice accept it”

thank you

I try not to google everyday and it will drive you nuts at first but honestly fuck what the articles say. Anyone can be born anything. I could be born with a disability, being a psychopath, or not have survived! Nothing is certain. But I also wanna note that I had this problem a few months ago when I read a statistic about how only children end up being violent in households that aren’t put together. I read it over and said it had to be true. I, myself am an only child. I have these awful harm ocd thoughts. That must mean I am apart of the statistic and I am violent. But now I look back on all the research I did. I could read about “will I do this...” for forever. It is literally a loop setting you up for failure. Sorry this is so long I just can tell you’re struggling like I was/am. It feels so real. There are so many awful things in the world. We can’t hate ourselves for it forever. If you were okay with being a pedo and didn’t care I think that would be an issue. But it scares you. Just know that.

thank you. the only thing is that it doesn’t even matter if i’m scared. the people born with it said they are/were too then accepted it but i refuse

If you are distressed about it then you are not a pedophile....those that are, even non offending ones do not stress about it...that is what they like and they do not see it as wrong. It's an OCD theme, I've battled it too and it WILL fade. It's one of the worst I know I've been there and I'd rather be dead than molest a child. If one was a true pedophile they would not feel that. You will be okay ❤❤

but what if it’s NOT. then i literally don’t have any hope

i think run for a bit until my therapist and i get a plan.

thank tou